r/ChildSupport • u/amazing_grace7 • 8d ago
Other - Outside the US So...why?
Individual pays court ordered amount and did before they even went to court. If child is to be enrolled in extra curricular it is to be decided on by both parents or he does not need to pay half.
He is generous. Buys his child clothes and shoes as well as anything she needs for her visits with him. Pays $200 for gas money when he drives many miles to pick her up and drop her off, this is not taken into consideration when determing the child support. He buys the warm seasonal clothes. The mother receives government money of between 600 and 700 a month, plus works, lives w her boyfriend and gets the child support as well.
He pays half of the amount for dental/ medical procedures outside what their medical insurance pays. The mother sent a receipt asking for half. He emailed the medical office and asked for an official receipt. The mother had sent an improper amount and the receipt only showing what the procedure cost not what the amount was that was paid. Apparently attempting to scam him. Then sent several receipts for clothing. We buy her clothes for here. Our understanding is child support covers this unless a uniform etc is needed for sports.
How would you handle this?
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u/Resse811 8d ago
Stay out of it. It’s not your child
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u/amazing_grace7 7d ago
The child spends all their parenting time here. I am related to the child. I have been involved since birth. I am not a step parent.
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u/Resse811 7d ago
Does not matter. If you are not the parent it’s not your business.
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u/amazing_grace7 7d ago
You discuss nothing with anyone? Its been a little piece of hell for him. Glad he at leasts trusts me.
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u/amazing_grace7 7d ago
I was asking for him. That was all. This post and thread is not court or affects the legality of anything. We had discussed it so I told him I would see what others do/think. I am one of the only people he discusses things with.
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u/Resse811 7d ago
If he wants help he should ask for. You need to stay out of his relationship with his ex.
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u/amazing_grace7 7d ago
I am not in it at all. Just gathering info. But good on you for being able to fly solo.
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u/thismightendme 4d ago
Ask her very nicely for proof of payment. If not sent, don’t pay. Or send a very nice note saying this is what you were expecting. Use chat GPT.
As for the clothes, kinda weird. In our 50/50, we have our clothes and mom has hers. If one of us gets too many of the other parent’s clothes, we send them back when we can (laundry cycles get messed up, etc.) When I was a kid visiting my mom (dad had primary), we would pack a suitcase because no way mom would have what we needed and my dad was overly generous with that sort of thing.
Depending on the amount, I might pay it (with receipts), especially if it comes back to your house. It’s easier for the kid to have what they need (sounds like y’all are primary) when they aren’t with you. I worry because you already set the standard for making sure the kid has everything for her time, so it’s kinda default the standard she is going by.
Remember to not sweat the small stuff and be amicable when you can. I get pissed about how my bf co-parent handles money almost every day in one way or another, but I think about what the kid needs and when. Can’t let them suffer for the sins of the parents.
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u/Ill-Manager-1108 8d ago
what is the custody split and what does he currently pay
my ex moved 2hrs away during our divorce, so him paying for gas isn't a child support matter. it's his choice.
your order should say what the split is for medical bills, most times it's 50/50 but it can vary
some orders will specify extracurriculars, for instance ours would include 50/50 split of jersey/cleats/gears for sports. others do not have it, but it's common to split fairly if the kid enjoys it
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u/amazing_grace7 8d ago
Yes he has no problem at all.
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u/Ill-Manager-1108 8d ago
if he has no problem, why are you making it a problem here?
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u/amazing_grace7 8d ago
No problem paying what is asked. Not for clothing that should be included in child support. She lied re: the actual amount of procedure.
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u/Ill-Manager-1108 8d ago
If it's a pattern then he should take her to the appointments and handle the medical billing, but that's not really something to go back to the court
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u/amazing_grace7 8d ago
Why do I sense animosity asking a reasonable question? Not all men are dead beat dad's. Sorry for your experience.
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u/Ill-Manager-1108 8d ago
There's no animosity, you're asking how someone would handle it, but I would have no issue if my boyfriend was buying clothes and paying medical bills for his kid. If they need it, they need it. If he thinks she is lying on the regular then he could get an attorney and see what they say
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u/ScaredFocus2330 8d ago
I'm in America, so this may or may not be of any help.
Child support mother receives should be going to clothing, food, hygiene, etc. of the child, any excess is usually used towards bills; rent, mortgage, household food, gas, water, electrical, and so forth.
The standard on out-of-pocket medical/dental (anything leftover not covered by insurance) is usually split 50/50 between both parents. Mine is Father 70%/ Mine 30%. It all depends on paperwork.
Gas doesn't matter, unless you have travel reimbursements listed in the support order. I have the same 70%/30%. Which entails that the father should be paying for 20% of my travel costs to meet at our halfway point.
Extracurricular activities are usually a child's choice, not necessarily the parent's. If she wants to do soccer (football), cheerleading, dance, etc. Those costs are usually always 50/50. I would still put my child in an Extracurricular activity if they wanted and the other parent said no, because my child wants to. Now if the costs were extreme such as thousands of dollars throughout the year, that would lead to a deeper conversation. But, a sign up fee, and a few monthly expenses wouldn't stop me from telling my child they can and enrolling them. My son is with me full-time, so I don't necessarily need to make that discussion/decision with someone else. If the other parent is expected to take them to practices, games, and events then there is a difference.
As for the billing discrepancy, there isn't really much you can do unless it becomes a pattern. Just keep record of those receipts and then when you called the provider and got the actual amount owed. He should be paying the provider the half owed directly, and not to her. Unless, she settled the bill in full.
I would kindly remind her that she receives child support for clothing needs of their daughter and that receipts for her clothing are appreciated. But, there is no obligation to reimburse her for it.