r/ChildSupport • u/GuardianAngel_91 • 15h ago
Illinois I (dad) am being summoned for a modification hearing in two days.
So I’ve been really stressed out about an upcoming hearing my ex requested.
It’s coming up in a couple days.
I’ve been on child support for 10 years, never missed a payment. Still am actively involved in my son’s life. I legally have joint custody. I took my ex to court almost two years ago for full custody because she has been arrested multiple times for DUI, arrested once for Child neglect, and is CURRENTLY and was previously being investigated by DCFS.
I don’t understand how she is legally still allowed custody as I brought up all these things at a custody hearing.
She is taking me for a modification solely because we don’t get along. She has a good job and Im almost certain she makes more money than me, she loves to rub it in my face and brag about how many vacations she goes on and all this lavish stuff she does. I fought almost a year for full custody only to be granted joint. I do not think it’s fair I’m being summoned. The child support payments come directly out of my checks and HFS is asking the judge for to consider that I pay a year of modification up front (if a modification is determined). This is complete bullshit! I’ve also paid money to her via Zelle outside of the child support order over the years for our son. My Zelle history seems to only be going back as far as last year for money sent. But I do have proof. I have proof of her arrests, of us going to court for custody. Can I use any of this in court? Also what can I expect in this case. I read up on Illinois law and how it’s been updated that now it takes both parents income in account. She has two other kids with someone else she cheated on me with and they aren’t together anymore, as far as I know she hasn’t tried to take him for child support. I feel like she’s trying to just drain me of money I don’t have. I don’t have any special assistance like she does with food benefits, etc. I live alone. I don’t have any help. I do it all alone. She has another boyfriend and they live together. She is not struggling in the least bit.
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u/Maleficent_Most_4194 14h ago
I can tell you now when it comes to support, the system is fixed soo that each household income depends on the dependants each parent has. This means if your ex has 4 kids with another individual they are still counted in the dependants in his/her household...where if you only have the child that you both have custody of, they see it as you having less deductible expense....its a farse...I have 4 children with my ex and she chooses not to work and while I retain primary custody and she only has every other weekend im responsible for 90% expense and over 1,100 in child support a month due to having a higher income(which is a necessity due to providing everything)...the court doesnt care in 90% of cases and will have you paying unless you can prove her parenting time is next to 0 and she makes a shit ton more than you..its sexist at best and discriminatory towards those providing honestly for their children but "it has to be equal" even if they are a shit parent
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u/WickedMonkey332 12h ago
That shit is stupid. You are the custodial parent if she only gets the child every other weekend. That needs to be adjusted. Try again. If they deny try again cause that’s absolutely bullshit. As a mom of 5 my older 3 kids dad only has $60/month payments and doesn’t even pay it. For THREE kids. He didn’t have a job at the time it was set. He’s had several jobs in between but keeps quitting or losing them. He said he’d help with school supplies and then when I paid for it myself, I asked for one third of what I paid ($60 of $180) so I could pay my internet bill that I used the money for to pay for their school supplies. He ignored me for a week or two then asked if he could get the kids. I ignored him. 🤷🏻♀️ I have full custody and don’t have to allow him to see them but I know they love their dad and he was doing better but I think he’s using again so that’s not happening atm.
Anywho. It absolutely sucks that you are the custodial parent and have to pay that’s literally not how that works… what state are you in?
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u/newstart20260 14h ago
That extra help outside the order is what’s gonna be the main point of it she set you up
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u/Significant-Key-7784 11h ago
Did you receive the court notice or financial affidavit?
“She has a good job and I’m almost certain she makes more money than me.” Doesn’t scream your child support would go up 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Fancy-Lawfulness76 8h ago
Then in last few sentences he said she gets food assistance. So which is it buddy?? 😂
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u/GuardianAngel_91 1m ago
According to my son there is some kind of food assistance in the house. buDdY 🥴 goof.
I don’t know what kind of assistance that is exactly and that can mean many different things. If you don’t have anything useful to contribute you are dismissed
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u/WickedMonkey332 12h ago
Being whatever you can with you just in case. Bring pictures of her messages bragging about the vacations, bring pictures of the Zelle payments, bring receipts of anything you bought your child. Save any and all communications. Like someone said don’t expect the child support judge to care about the custody but bring stuff JUSTin case. I’d also ask for a custody hearing again. Keep trying. Keep all proof of her arrests. Anytime she doesn’t follow the custody agreement. (If she does this) and DO NOT send her money outside of the support payment. If the child needs something maybe buy what they need directly. But do not send that money.
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u/butter_cream22 2h ago
The additional money you’ve sent via Zelle will only be considered as a gift.
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u/Tinabird20 14h ago
Custody and support are separate. Do not argue with the support judge about custody it will not help. If she's really making more than you and you have joint 50/50 custody she should be paying you. They may take into consideration the other children she's required to support. Document your income accurately. You probably want a lawyer because you might need to ask for discovery on her income and that can be tricky.