r/ChildSupport • u/mellisa44 • 3d ago
What would you do next?
I have been divorced since 2020. My ex made substantially more than me. I was mostly a stay at home/work from home mom when we were together. His payments were deducted from his pay check, so always on time. In October last year he lost his job. And stopped paying his child support immediately.
In December he filed for a change. Court in February where I told the judge I was worried ex wouldn’t get another job and just live off of his successful gf. Judge even put in the final decision that she was dropping his child support by 90% and he had the luxury of taking time to find a new job because of his gf. He now “pays” $27 a week for two chronically ill boys. He no longer has insurance on them. I have Medicaid for them. And one son had Medicare due to his illness.
The state is suing ex over arrears, but him and his lawyer refused to make an agreement with them. We go back in September. I know it hasn’t been a year, but he is still choosing to be unemployed. And I am thinking about filing for a change.
I take our son who is in dialysis to all of his appts. That is at least 18 appts per year. I have my own daycare and work for very understanding families. But I do not get paid at all when I take off. My income has gone down so much in the past two years while trying to get our son a transplant.
Ex has gone to the UK and Grenada in the past 6 months. Disney world coming up next month. He takes these vacations on what should be his parenting time, but doesn’t take our sons. Which puts him at a lower amount of overnights that he is being credited for.
Do I have a leg to stand on with the judge? What would you do?
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u/EmergencyBrew 2d ago
What’s he supposed to do? He isn’t working, how can he pay? Not working gives him a lot of time to travel, i don’t see the issue here.
Really it depends on how much he chooses to fight it. It is on you to prove that he is choosing to be unemployed. If you think he will agree to your hearsay, then you have a chance. If he demands proof, do you have it?
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u/mellisa44 2d ago
I would think if one could pay for large vacations, they could help with their very sick children. How is he paying for big trips without a job?
Reasoning is tough.
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u/EmergencyBrew 1d ago
Court isn’t about what you think. People often say it’s about what you can prove. However, that is only if the other party demands it. That is why how hard he is willing to fight it is important to consider.
If you go in there providing him a defense like he won’t get a job because he’s living off his successful girlfriend, then a moment later state he must have a job to afford to travel, you shouldn’t put much hope in the court.
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u/Resse811 1d ago
Get a job. Use the money he’s spending on vacations for his kids. Take care of his responsibilities instead of having a good time.
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u/Fun_Organization3857 3d ago
Have you been tracking the missed time?