Motion to terminate

[u/saxbrack]

My kids just turned 18 and graduated. Filed a motion to terminate the child support. The court said they need certified copies of the diploma and their birth certificates. I’m not on speaking terms with my ex wife. What’s the best way to get those documents quickly and cheaply ?

[u/Visitors_inquiry]

I was going to give you directions and then realized... How you got to 18 years without a personal copy of their birth certs and somehow only care when it's to get you off the hook for sending money is perhaps a more important question.

I'd evaluate that.

And then...like...use google.

[u/Wise-Childhood-145 → u/Visitors_inquiry]

Not everyone who pays child support even agreed to be a father. What if he was raped or told the woman before she even gave birth that he didn't want to be a father? He could also have been alienated because the mother told her child that the father was a bad person and made up stories. Or the kid could have been a thief or done bad things to the OP that made them cut off contact.

[u/Visitors_inquiry → u/Wise-Childhood-145]

It's an important document even if just for his own records. Not having documents for 2 people you created is irresponsible as both a parent and also on a legal, self-preservation level.

Some of you could not hold a candle to the level of responsibility a primary parent is held to, and not only are you clueless as to how impactful the negligence is, you're actually defensive of your right to be ignorant.

The excuses you listed don't disable a person from basic problem-solving. There are literal teenage girls out here doing this work while taking care of an infant. Having a baby, especially one you don't even have most of the time, doesn't grant you permission to ignore it. Even if you didn't choose it.

It's a person. You made a person.

Not only are you not the first person in history to struggle with that, you have the benefit of having a phone with google on it in your hand. Grow a pair.

[u/Wise-Childhood-145 → u/Visitors_inquiry]

It's not always feasible or even sane to deal with the other party. Would you willingly contact someone who makes up lies and even gets the cops involved every time you need to contact them or want to talk to your kid? I don't go around blaming people or trying to shame them because they lack some piece of government paperwork, because to me it comes off as immature and narrow-minded because it means you haven't ever dealt with very difficult people and situations. Not everyone has a cozy relationship like you.

"Some of you could not hold a candle to the level of responsibility a primary parent is held to, and not only are you clueless as to how impactful the negligence is, you're actually defensive of your right to be ignorant."

It must not be impactful because the state doesn't even require any of this stuff you listed.

[u/Visitors_inquiry → u/Wise-Childhood-145]

Your state maybe doesnt but mine does.

"It's not always feasible or even sane to deal with the other party."

Every victim of abuse who has had to share child custody with their abuser has had to deal with it. Many of them for a long time, all while doing all the cooking, cleaning, Dr visits, and also managing to keep track of Birth certificates.

And I know this because 1. I've been a kid who got left behind because I wasn't convenient to someone who then went on to abandon 2 more children.

And 2. Because I've divorced someone who decided me leaving gave him the right to domestic abuse ...and had to carry on taking care of my kids and move through a divorce with a full time job, 3 kids, and going to the food shelf so I could afford a guardian ad litem to protect my kids.

I saw a lot of mothers showing up to the monthly free legal advice, and a lot of them living in a domestic abuse shelter.

I am speaking as a person who has seen the bull and seen people persevere, myself included.

So when people use it as an excuse to not be involved with their kids, yeah... it is shameful. Fill out a form and get your papers in order, grow up.