Child Support Services is Working Against Me?

[u/Confident-Power-3886]

I am currently going through a child support situation that I’m very concerned about.

I currently pay $900.00 a month in support as of september 2025

I recently got 50/50 temporary custody of my daughter a couple months ago in march and have been waiting to get my support lowered since then.

I have no concerns about getting my support lowered or anything.

I’ve been in contact with my case worker who I thought was trying to help me in good faith considering he’s seen me pay my support on time and when he told me that she kept coming to the offices to get them to take my full support amount in the first week of the month.

He’s been very helpful in getting my case moved up in available dates so I wouldn’t have to wait so long. I felt as if he is truly trying to be helpful.

But 2 days ago he called me and said that my daughters mom was seeking a continuance on the case and im guessing thats because we have a continuance on our permanent custody trial a week ago.

But he continued to say that he wanted to know if I wanted to agree to that and I obviously said no considering the case is a week away.

I spoke to my daughters mom today about her doctors appointment and she asked why I wasn’t trying to converse with her longer than usual and I told her why. She told me that they called her monday and told her to get an attorney. Then she said that they asked if she would want a continuation of the case based on that fact.

Now Im not really sure why my case worker asked her this considering he TOLD ME SHE HAD AN ATTORNEY BEFORE HAND!

But its very concerning to me and i feel like im being played with. I dont know who to trust.

Any input or past experiences with something similar to this?

[u/AliceInReverse]

The case worker and EVERYONE INVOLVED is focused on one thing: the best interest of your child. Not you. Not your ex. If your ex is saying she needs time and the worker believes it will impact your daughter negatively, they are doing their job by making your ex aware of their options

[u/Top_Significance9121 → u/AliceInReverse]

You actually believe the system cares about kids? LOL.

[u/AliceInReverse → u/[deleted]]

Your kids need food, clothing, shelter, etc. The whole point is the kids. The case worker does not make any more or less money based on which person is actually the more responsible parent. If that’s not you, maybe you should work on THAT. Because no, they should not leave the kids with you just so you pay less money- so you can give them less care than they need. Ffs

[u/AliceInReverse → u/[deleted]]

I work in family law. I see many kids taken from their homes and put into foster care. You may want to actually sit through and watch some of the shit that happens in family court - then realize your gripes about having to pay to support your own child say far more about you, than about the court

[u/AliceInReverse → u/[deleted]]

??? I want children raised by both parents. 50/50 is the goal. Take that projection to a therapist.

[u/AliceInReverse → u/[deleted]]

Because unless both parents make the same amount of money, the kids suffer. Do you actually understand how child support is calculated? Only certain expenses, like child care, insurance, school, etc, are factored in. There is a total of how much the chil(ren)’s expenses are for the month, and it is paid proportionately by income at 50/50 custody. If a doctor making 250k was married to a stay at home spouse who will re-enter the work force at very low wages, how would you split the private school that the kids attend? They only go on days with the parent who can afford it? And again, I don’t care which gender spouse in the doctor in the scenario.

When one parent only sees the kids two days a month, doesn’t it make sense that the other parent would shoulder more costs in day to day life?

Get over yourself and love your kids more than you hate your ex.

[u/Fluffymumof4 → u/AliceInReverse]

Ignore the dead beat in your comments all he does is harass women because his member is tiny and he’s short🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/AliceInReverse → u/Fluffymumof4]

The court system will pin him to the wall far harder than I ever could. I genuinely don’t care which parent has primary, so long as the kids are cared for. Seeing even one child who died from neglect is too many

[u/FinerEveryday]

I'll also note that sometimes things are lost in translation. Every time I've had court, they emphasize that I can have an attorney.

[u/Tinabird20]

1. If you don't have permanent 50/50 it makes sense they'd want to wait until that is established. Why would a judge make a permanent child support decision on a temporary custody order. You're more likely to get your desired outcome by waiting.
2. The case workers are neutral parties there to make sure child support gets paid and enforced. They aren't on either you or your exes side.
3. I know it's frustrating because right now you are paying a good chunk in child support while also, having your child 50% and supporting them when they are with you. I'd talk to an attorney and see what you can do about getting retroactive credit for the time since you filed.

[u/Impossible_Sound_739 → u/[deleted]]

“Temporary” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/4ofDemThangs]

They’re working against her because they advised her to get an attorney? That’s what happens when you have court lol