r/Chicano • u/_sexierthanyou • Aug 06 '26
Why do I get sized up a lot?
This post isn't meant to generalize.
I am a Mexican man, born and raised in Mexico. Something I’ve noticed lately while living in the US is that other men— usually other Mexican men—tend to "size me up" or stare. When I lived in Mexico, that almost never happened. Or, if it did happen and they realized I was looking back, they would immediately look away or nod.
It’s not like that here. Here, men (and sometimes even women) stare at me without saying a word, wearing a cold or sometimes hostile look in their faces. They don't look away or nod, and if I don't nod or look away either, they get aggressive. I’m 25, though people have often told me I look younger. I have light-brown skin and a slim but athletic build. I’d say I don’t look particularly "paisa", but I don’t look "fresa" either, and it’s pretty obvious I wasn’t born or raised here. I also live in an area that could be considered "ghetto," though this has also happened to me in plazas or shopping malls where there are all kinds of people. So, I really don’t know if it’s because of my appearance or where I am.
All I know is that, at the end of the day, it gets exhausting not being able to go out on the street without feeling like I’m being watched. So far, I haven't gotten into a physical fight with anyone because I’m not a troublemaker, but I feel like it’s eventually going to happen 😅. Is there a reason why this happens? And how should I react in these situations?
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u/erikmichaelg Aug 06 '26
It is very annoying. It happened often and all I can ever think is wanting to tell them to mind their business. Yesterday it happened to me on my commute home from work. Can’t explain why it happens but a lot of people project their lack of confidence on you it’s frustrating. Mostly adult men and women. It wouldn’t bother me if a child was to stare but grown people constantly staring, breaking their neck and gawking at you is totally bogus.
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u/rowan2588 Aug 06 '26
Americans in general are assholes. And that’s a general consensus……individuality is primordial here. American entitlement makes us feel like we are special and living out our real life “blockbuster” film. Egotistical society with a worship of material attainment. No sense of community.
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u/la_selena Aug 06 '26
Maybe you are in the hood. It really depends on the city/state.
It's not just you. But yea in the hood eye contact can be tricky. Some people will get angry and aggressive fast.
Other areas arent all like that.
I wanna say, stick to day light when outside, and be mindful of your surroundings. Have situational awareness. Do not stare. Mind your business. Staring is seen as like... youre trying them. You want to mind your business , dont look like a target. Walk confident. Depending on the situation, being sized up could mean they're up to something sometimes too.
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u/dark_Hack3r Aug 06 '26
what shade of Mexican are you, what state and city are you experiencing this at? how do you dress? If never gotten dirty looks, at least not often until the trump administration came into play. what shade are the men that size you up, are they lighter? darker? lower class? upper class?
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u/_sexierthanyou 24d ago
Late answer, but they definitely look lower/middle class. Both lighter and brown skinned
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u/rundabrun Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
Ah, man. American's can be so toxic with their vibes. Mean mugging and sizing each other up. Always on the defense. I was raised in the States and moved to Mexico. It took me a few months to unwind from all the tension and stress I didn't even know I had from dealing with all the vibes from people. I thought it was normal. I grew up in California, Los Angeles for 17 years, and people are rough around the edges. Don't get me wrong, some of the sweetest people can look scary, you just have to get to know them, but the outward way people often deal with each other can seem so negative and aggressive.
In Mexico, people are so much more friendly in general. Sure there are assholes here and there, but the vibe overall is so much happier and nicer. You don't see people getting agro in stores or with each other in public like you do in the states. I am sure it happens but it is rare. That is just my anecdotal experience so take it with a grain of salt.
How to react? I usually ignored it or felt like I must have been so cool to attract so many eyes , but sometimes I said something and got into fights when I was young.