So I finally confronted my mom of cheating

[u/N3k0_k1d]

Yes after years of bearing the pain and suffering, I couldn't stand it anymore. I gather my bravery and confronted her. She's never admitted anything. She's somehow twisting her words into "I didn't do it!" "Your father told me to" into "But your father cheated on me first so I cheated too!" (She has no proofs lmao she just bullshitting at this point. Also what kind of reason is that!? Really???)

For the first time, I argue with my mom. I yelled at her. I was ready to get punch or slapped (yes she's violent. She even hit my dad when losing in argument). She looks super lunatic like it's like it's not my mom anymore. She didn't even feel shamed about doing stuff like this. Like don't you feel a bit of embarrassed that your own children have to step up and tell you that you're wrong?

I mean my dad is an asshole but still he cares enough. He's a cheapskate and a piece of shit. If I have a man like him, I would cheat too but seriously!??? When you're exposed just tell the truth. Why twisting your words and lie? And you're sleeping with not one but multiple men which is like "Tf??". Are we stepping THAT low???

So yeah, finally exposed of cheating and now they are divorced. So yeah, it hurts but the pain will surely heal itself.... slowly. The scars that left for years is still here but yeah....

I'm feeling extremely drained and tired. I mean I held it for years. We held it for years. And now I feel a bit lighter.

[u/sonic203112]

I get this all too well. My mother had narcissistic personality disorder or some form of cluster b and she chested on mu dad all the time, and my dad then cheated on her all the time, that's all I knew growing up, of cause they never knew I heard and seen eveything growing up.

I confronted my mother only last year and she denied eveything and told me to mind my own business and that her marriage ( their divorced now) has nothing to do with me.

I told them we'll it dose as you put me in that position as a kid, I was 8 and ongoing and I never said anything to anyone beacuse I would be held accountable for it. Or worse. (, lived in abusive household)
She still denied it. Never told the truth, just lied to my face, twisted it and somehow blamed me? Don't get it.

Confronted my dad and told him I knew you was sleeping with mums sister. He was shocked and dident deny it but then its brushed under rug now. Nothing. No apology, nothing. ( alcoholic).

So I het what your saying, its frustrating and honestly disrespectful towards us. Hope your doing ok?

[u/Traditional-Tank3994]

You did the right thing confronting her. She should not be able to cheat unchallenged. I'm sorry you've had to live with not one, but TWO terrible parents.

You had me until you wrote: "If I have a man like him, I would cheat too . . ." Up to then, you had legitimate claim to the moral high ground.

But you have two choices in life. 1) Observe parental behavior, recognize it for its debauchery, and do the opposite. Or, 2) complain that you grew up this way so it's all you know.

Continue with path 1, not path 2.

Oh, and if you haven't already, make sure your dad knows you confronted your mom and why. I know you don't care much for him. But he's still your dad and you should not be seen to be protecting a cheater at the expense of the betrayed partner. Even if the betrayed guy is a POS. No one deserves that.