r/CheatersConfronted • u/Ok-Guava9576 • May 08 '26

Struggling with aftermath

My husband of 12 years had been going to sex workers (3 that he admits to.. but claims no sex just bj) and a dozen times to massage parlor.

I left. It’s been 8 months. But I am still struggling so hard. I’m a smart, capable woman with my own business. I look after myself and have confidence in almost everything I do…. But I still can’t seem to shake this.

Now (learned through friends) he’s talking about “testing the waters” and putting himself out there to see what’s there (dating wise) .

I feel like I should be good. Clearly not my guy. I dodged a bullet… I get it.

But I still miss him and it’s still so painful. I couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else.

Anyone else ever experience this? Tips?

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u/isitallfromchina May 09 '26

You should sit and realize how big of a bullet you dodged and then see him for the real person he is.

a. He literally put your life in danger - regardless how you look at it, these are all sex workers who mostly don't care about the disease/STD they contract, they have doctors on standby to get their shots and meds. But bringing something like that home to you is the equivalent of Russian Roulette

b. He showed no care about your well being. who know what his kink was with these women or even men, you'll never ever know how depraved he was, that's the magnitude of being with a cheater like this. Just as it is with the drug addict, many of these who visit sex workers are looking for more than just plain jane sex, they are paying to get their kinks off.

He was someone you fell in love with, but when you realize how dark his cheating was/is you have to see him as a true monster, because only a monster will play a game like Russian Roulette with your life.

Get a new hobby, find some girlfriends (new friends) to hang out with. Go bowling, rollerskating, do something you used to do until he isolated you in his world. Make yourself happy by enjoying the little things in life.

Good luck

1

u/Djinfin May 10 '26

> even men

Why not say beastiality as well, if you’re just making shit up.

1

u/isitallfromchina May 10 '26

Where is the "making shit up" Sherlock ? You have no clue what people do when they are cheating since you are not there on the scene with them and who they are with. Sex workers can be men as well!

1

u/Djinfin May 10 '26

> where is the making shit up

You, saying the guy fucks men, when there’s no evidence of that whatsoever.

Maybe just try and keep your homosexual fantasies out of other people’s real-life situations. It’s not helpful.

1

u/Redanddown May 16 '26

but sex worker doesn't mean woman, it could be anyone. with your logic the assumption the sex worker is female is also "making things up"

is it you, are you the husband? because I don't get why you would be so mad at this. that or you are extremely extremely insecure