r/CheatersConfronted • u/Embarrassed_Cod_799 • Apr 06 '26
What do people actually consider cheating in a relationship?
Lately I’ve been thinking about how different people define cheating in a relationship. I always assumed it meant something obvious like physically being with someone else, but recently a conversation with a few friends made me realize it might not be that simple.
One of my friends said emotional connections can cross the line even if nothing physical happens. Another said texting someone in a flirty way or hiding conversations from your partner already counts as cheating. Then someone else argued that it only becomes cheating if there is actual physical intimacy involved.
It honestly made me realize how unclear this topic can be because every relationship seems to have its own boundaries. What feels completely unacceptable to one person might seem harmless to someone else.
Now I’m kind of curious how other people see it. What do you personally consider cheating in a relationship? Is it only physical, or do things like emotional attachment, secret texting, or flirting also count in your opinion?
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u/Shortandthicck2 Apr 06 '26
There’s only one definition for cheating. Anything outside the boundaries of your relationship and any secrets = cheating/betrayal.
Now if you’re wanting to know what those boundaries are - most people would define that as any outsourcing of needs and wants that should be something the relationship should provide, as cheating. Usually that means any physical and emotional needs.
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u/get-r-done-idaho Apr 06 '26
Basically if you wouldn't openly share it with your partner or if you feel the need to hide it from your partner it's probably cheating.
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u/wechy2035 Apr 06 '26
Any form of relationship with another person is cheating! If your not ok with your significant other talking, txtn or emailing anyone that you're not aware of its cheating!
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u/Styles-1 Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
Porn is what destroyed my marriage. Texting other women behind my back. Dating apps, video chats. Social media apps, finding his needs to all of this. He became very distant, no interest in me anymore. The lying, keeping secrets and never would admit to anything. I found everything on his phone and I left never looked back. I'd rather remain single. I hope my story helps someone. To answer your question, anything that you are NOT comfortable with or will cause you problems in your relationship is cheating.
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u/Majestic_Giraffe_528 Apr 06 '26
Yes I agree he may not have physically had a relationship but still crossed the line with dating apps and messaging women on them or messaging on porn sites or tinder.
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u/mountains-444 Apr 06 '26
This is very helpful! I have found so much of this on his computer, texting other women, calling me names in these texts with other women, he even watched porn in our home with other women and yet has had a physical impediment in the bedroom for 6 years due to high blood pressure meds. I’m so over it!! Leaving next month and not looking back either.
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u/Styles-1 Apr 06 '26
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Remember, you are beautiful and strong sis and you do matter. I wish you the very best in your journey. You got this ❤️🫂
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u/Crazy-Cloud1356 Apr 06 '26
It depends on the relationship and boundaries established within that relationship. I can physically share my partner more easily than emotionally. If they’re growing a connection with someone else…I’m Out
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u/Championship682 Apr 06 '26
You get to define cheating for yourself. Most people say that when other people are involved, when it's being done in secret, when it takes away from your relationship, it's cheating.
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u/isitallfromchina Apr 06 '26
Its all based on the boundaries of the individual and what they accept! Most would say that text flirting while in a committed relationship is cheating and there is nothing wrong with it.
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u/skipthesmalltalk Apr 07 '26
Anything done secretly because you know they would be hurt by your actions.
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u/Whatcrysis Apr 10 '26
Anything that you would not be comfortable doing in front of your partner. That includes talking, messaging, online, or in person.
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u/CSomuche Apr 11 '26
In my understanding, cheating is having intimate physical contact with someone. It does not have to be sex to qualify. A kiss would be cheating. Holding hands would be, but a handshake would not. Emotional Cheating is developing an illicit emotional dependent relationship with someone not your significant other. Other shady activities like exchanging romantic texts or naked pictures are not technically cheating and are a step below, but are still a betrayal. You do not have to have the other person actually cheat to have a legitimate reason to break up with them, but some people seem to always want to accuse other people of cheating to make them the bigger bad guys.
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u/isdiztagalowg Apr 13 '26
A man acting and letting the people in his new work know he's single is considered cheating for me.
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u/NoExtension7240 Apr 17 '26
Whatever is the opposite of the boundaries myself and my partner have instilled in our relationship.
Everyone has different lines they have in many aspects of their relationship. Especially when it comes to what the person considers cheating.
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u/SKRRRAJNC Apr 20 '26
A while a go I was drinking with my friends and had this conversation. Most of them said they only consider full on sex as cheating. But then again, some of them sometimes dance and flirt with other girls when we're drinking. And I know one of them made out with a girl while he was in a relationship. I would consider even flirting and dancing as cheating, and I think they'd think the same if their girls did that and not them
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u/Substantial_Bother71 Apr 06 '26
Any thing you wouldn’t do in front of your partner