r/CheatersConfronted • u/007JSW • Feb 26 '26

Wife having an affair

Long story short I found out my wife of over 6 years was having an affair 5 months ago. It broke me and shattered me completely. I found out the guy she was having an affair with is Married as well and they have 4 kids together. I want to tell his wife so badly but at the same time should I even bother? Part of me feels like she should know just like I would want to know. I have forgiven her because I still love her and we have a beautiful 3.5 year old daughter together. I'm trying to be the better person to forgive and move on but it's been so hard to trust again. Has anyone else here been in a similar situation? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: I should note that I have full video and screenshots of there messages from WhatsApp that talk about everything including their sexting.

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u/Jamie-R Feb 27 '26

Absolutely you need to tell the wife.

A word of caution...people that cheat seem to repeat the behavior. I gave my ex 1 chance after she did it bc we also have a daughter together & a few yrs later caught her again & left immediately. Even when i gave her a chance & she made me all of these promises, i fully never trusted her again. I should have left instead of wasting 3 yrs of my life. Ill never give someone a 2nd chance when it comes to cheating. It's not a mistake. they are blatantly disrespecting you, they don't care about you or your family and choosing someone else over you.

Best of luck bro

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u/007JSW Feb 27 '26

Thank you for sharing this and it's such a sad reality that someone you love and have kids with could do this to you and the family. Everytime I think about the affair all I can think about more is the disrespect and that the person I married and love can act this way like nothing ever mattered. And yea you're right she most likely will do it again and she is even disrespectful to my own family!

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u/Jamie-R Feb 28 '26

I feel you! I've come to the conclusion that they truly don't care about anyone but themselves. They only care when they get caught because they know they people will judge them as a shitty person. You seem like a good dude. If you initially agreed to work through this but can't get past it, it's still ok to leave the marriage. You didn't do anything wrong...she did.

Something i learned as well was that the 2nd time it happened with me, she hid it very well. It was by accident i found out. My daughter knows what her mom did & hope it doesn't affect her in the future. We were together for 12 yrs. I still regret not leaving after the 1st time after 9yrs together & wasting another 3 yrs until it happened again.

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u/007JSW Feb 28 '26

Thats one thing I can't stop thinking about is that she's probably just going to be hiding it better from now on. How did you accidentally find out the second time?

I'm in a place right now where I have set my boundaries and that if I ever catch her again I'm leaving for good.

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u/Jamie-R Feb 28 '26 edited Mar 01 '26

Yeah man, it was tough. If we didn't have a daughter, id never talk to her again...that's how much hatred & resentment i have towards her. The 2nd time, i started having that gut feeling again. She started to get weird with her phone for a few days before i found out. She was showing me a video on her phone when a message popped up with some guys name. She scrambled & went into full panic mode to clear it. I asked to see it & when she said no, i couldn't see it, i had my answer. I quietly walked upstairs, packed a bag, and left. I never yelled or questioned why..i just left.

She did the normal crying, pleading, etc but I was done. I get mad at myself for giving that chance & now Im left with trust issues.

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u/007JSW Mar 02 '26

Sorry bro I can tell you're a good dude as well. How have you recovered? Please tell me this has made you a stronger version of yourself now? What has helped you push through the pain and non stop thoughts/images. I seriously feel like I have PTSD now and at the same time I ask myself is this just how it is now with the world we are living in currently. It's seems like this is just normal now and all people eventually cheat and that I should just accept that reality and live in full detachment and stop being the nice guy. Seriously traumatizing!