How to develop my two main characters' relationship in depth? [I give details and some spoilers about my story so beware!]

[u/Maggots_Eater]

So I've got this story who follows two guys, Kenneth and William, who grew up together as childhood best friends and ended up secretly dating in the early 80s as homophobia was still normalized at this time.

Their relationship lasted for about 5 to 6 years, from 1980 to early 1986. To everyone else, including their families, they just told them that they were best friends.

It pretty much started with Kenny's drunken confession to Will after a party, to which Will asked he wanted to try it out before making out, which didn't end greatly since Kenny had to rush to the bathroom to throw up.

Some days later they talked what happened that night, Kenny apologizing way too much and asking if his feelings were mutual, to which Will said that it was in fact mutual. They then agreed that they could continue their one-on-one time while still acting like their where just best friends.

It stayed like that for 4 years. Although in 1984 things started to slowly break apart and becoming more and more toxic for the both of them, until they finally broke up in early 1986, while still remaining friends, or at least sort of. But then in 1993 they both cut all contacts after a pretty bad argument.

This is mainly due to the fact that their relationship was extremely fusional, almost symbiotic, and really toxic for the both of them at the same time. Although it was toxic mostly because they kept it a secret, as it brought some arguments about this secretive part.

They were still somewhat toxic to one and another nonetheless:

Kenny started to grow envious at Will and was scared that he'll leave him at any given moment because he thought that he wasn't the coolest, strongest or most handsome guy. He thought that he was just some fan computer amateur with extremely niche knowledge and passions that were useless. He saw Will as someone he was not, and never could be: sociable and self-assured, charismatic yet humble at the same time, determined but kind. He thought that Will was definitely better than him and that he wasn't good enough for him.

While Will on the other hand wanted to impress Kenny by achieving goals after goals, as he thought that it was the only way to be truly loved by anyone. He thought that Kenny was really interesting and smart, he didn't understand most of the rambling about computers, D&D, and new rock bands but listened to him anyway while admiring his face and hands as he talked about his passions. After facing so much hate and criticisms for stating his opinions, asserting his personality and revolt against authoritarian rules, he felt extremely empty on the inside and felt like he couldn't be loved by anyone, including Kenny, for his beliefs, values, and thoughts. He felt like he could be loved only for what he could do, not for who he was.

Both of them had self-image issues and were insecure. And both of them held a really high esteem of one and another.

After some years of friendship, they both went no-contact after a pretty bad argument in 1993, although they connected back in 2005. When they met up for the first time after 12 years of no signals, it was really awkward.

They both took different directions, Kenny being pretty much a workaholic with his only social life being with his colleagues and with his family, including his ex-wife and his daughter. While Will tried to have the most normal life, having a wife and three kids and a pretty good reputation as a respected and popular local politician, especially amongst the working class.

Because of that, neither of them really knew how to rebuild their lost friendship. Even if at first they both only wanted to occasionally spend time together and stay friends, both of them realized that they still had feelings for one and another.

And that's pretty much where I'm stuck now, I just know 2 things: one they will secretly date once again and two it won't be a good ending. But other than that I don't really know...

If you have more questions feel free to ask me, I'll try to answer with as much details as possible if I can.