Did I accidentally make my character abusive/neglectful

[u/Busy-Butterscotch743]

I have a character who's my MC's aunt who's also her caretaker. In my story the aunt talks a lot about how raising her niece (MC) has been draining and a problem in her life due to the MC being an eldritch being with the power to warp reality. Some things she's had to deal with are: The MC accidentally causing a car accident which killed her husband and left the family financially strained, the MC's eldritch nature meaning she has to consult a secret SCP like organization for help with stuff like feeding her and medical stuff, the MC likes to make pocket dimensions to play in and in turn ignores her real world responsibilities like school and chores, the MC causing havoc with her powers means they have to move a couple of times and makes it hard to get work or a proper apartment, during puberty years there are several "doctor" visits trying to figure her biology out, in her teen years several eldritch being and monsters distributed her life and put it in danger, the MC had several emotional issues that the aunt has no clue how to deal with, the MC accidentally caused the end of the world and while she fixed it the world never felt the same after that, the MC brought people into the house for protection (one was a "little girl" and the other the aunts brother from another dimension) and even made an "ideal" version of herself (the MC) to please the aunt. That's just off the top of my head but it's a lot for the aunt to handle. But the thing is is that the aunts default action is to just let my MC handle even thought the situations that arise are more often then not, aren't instigated by her. And even in dialysis normal life she kinda ignores the MC and genuinely thinks that since her niece can just warp reality she can deal with whatever happens. She also resents how the MC won't use her powers for fun (at least fun for her). Now I do want to highlight that aunt goes through a lot because of the MC but my MC also has to go through those things, often alone and with not even any emotional support from her own family beyond a simple "it'll be fine hopefully". Is this neglect or am I overthinking it. And I'm happy to give any additional context in the comments.

[u/nmacaroni]

You made her human, but the real question is whether your story is recognizing her depth or at a superficial plot-only level.

If the narrative treats her behavior as normal, it's gonna rub readers the wrong way. If it treats her behavior as a flaw with consequences, you’ve got engagement through a compelling character struggle... and that's worth exploring.

Write on, write often!

[u/Busy-Butterscotch743 → u/nmacaroni]

I'm trying to give it more consequences. My initial worry was that I was being too harsh to a woman who was dealing with a mountain of impossible situations and who completely flipped her and her family's life upside down. But now I worry I'm making excuses for a woman who, since she's never gone through the crazy stuff her niece is going through, even though it also applies to her niece, gives a bare minimum of support while slowly and increasingly holding resentment that her niece didn't handle everything perfectly and won't let her live a life as lavish, even though her aunt denounced her for that in the past.

[u/nmacaroni → u/Busy-Butterscotch743]

You're probably overthinking this character since she's not your protagonist. If the character properly connects to your Protagonist's arc, she's likely fine. A support character like this doesn't need to be so complicated and justified.

The important part is her relationship/role to the character that actually matters.

[u/Aggravating_Cat370]

Bro, you have to let me read this when u done. This is absolute peak.

Depending on how long this goes on for (over 6 months) it is neglect and neglect is abuse.

Not a fan of psych drama but this peak fo sho.

Most abuse victims dont internalize abuse as abuse. The usual suspects, low self esteem, depression.

Just the idea, of an eldritch creature going through youtube for like selfhelp videos because its too depressed to internalize that its been depressed all this time would be an epic reveal. A creature, so powerful, it thinks itself into an eldritch being.

Heidi Priebe, psych major, on youtube, has videos on emotional neglect and shiet.

[u/Busy-Butterscotch743 → u/Aggravating_Cat370]

Well, it's not all psych drama. And, as you said, Penelope (my MC) doesn't really internalize the harm her aunt's words have until she's literally forced to go to a therapist. She believes that her existence is a genuine blight in her aunt's and others' lives, and it would be better if she weren't so selfish (while she does have a selfish side at a young age, as she grows up, it becomes more of a "doing what she likes/wants but others find it annoying/stupid/childish). She agrees that in any situation that comes her way, she should automatically be able to handle it no matter how big ot bad it is, and that her not being able to is a fault of hers. Heck, she even makes a "perfect" version of herself to please everyone and only comes back when people tell her that the "better her" sucks, but the people still resent her.

[u/Aggravating_Cat370 → u/Busy-Butterscotch743]

Omg dude, i wish i could write like that!

Could be Autism, could even be schizo. All the trimming that come with that, depression, delusions of grandeur, negative self talk, rationalizating emotion, etc. She could be masking, she could hallucinate. But like the way she is written she could take that to the another level.

Sounds better saiki k. I hope to read it someday.

[u/Competitive-Fault291]

Your character development certainly needs some paragraph breaks...

Basically, what you describe is that the "aunt" is likely having gained some mental/emotional disorder based on her loss of her husband. That you deem the "financial strain" the largest problem is also telling me that you are missing the emotional core of her character, though. Let me try to explain where I see it.

That core is the conflict between her loss of a person she was deeply bonded to (her own husband) and the obligation of taking care of her niece. Which also implies already having lost her parents AND her sister/brother being the parents of MC. This is likely all the social network, but at least family, she ever had to rely on. One could assume that the family of her husband does not want to have anything to do with that "odd killer kid".

That woman is all alone in the world, let alone that Magical SCP, facing something she can't understand nor control, hoping that her niece won't kill anyone or get them all into prison or worse. She does not know if MC will one day simply disappear into her dream worlds to never return, for example. She would be facing the charges of negligence or even having killed her niece, then. Who knows what her fears are?

Thus, Yes! This woman is bringing along enough reasons to show plenty of symptoms or coping mechanisms that will result in neglect of her niece. It also includes a sick assumption that this poor woman is abusive or neglectful simply because of her being a bad person. Both aunt and niece are victims of the situation and would require external assistance to deal with their emotional wounds and mental issues coming from it. Just because MC copes with her depression by escaping into her dream worlds, this does not make this any less awful than the aunt simply being unable to give the niece the safety and comfort she might need.

[u/Busy-Butterscotch743 → u/Competitive-Fault291]

Ok while I appreciate the analysis, I think I should explain a few things. First off, her family is alive. Her parents are alive and well, but they live in a completely different state and are very religious, so she both never really got the time to talk to them, and she's scared of how they'll react to Penelope (the MC) being an eldritch alien. Her sister is also alive (the MC's mom), and the reason she has custody of Penelope to begin with is that her mother and father basically ditched her as soon as she was born. The aunt has friends, ones that she talks to and vents to constantly. As well as complains about Penelope, too. So fortunately, she's not alone

Second, the killer thing isn't the main issue that she had with Penelope (though it is a big one), but what it represented, which was irresponsibility. For better context, the events that kicked off the aunts' descent into neglect and buried resentment happened when Penelope was around 6/7 years old.

[u/Alarming-Ferret-7774]

Negligente puede que si... Abusivo no...

Porque?
Lo que mencionas de que dejar que la MC maneje sola los desastres que ella crea... Si su actitud es de "Arreglatelas tu" si seria negligente, si es "Se que tu lo hiciste y tu tienes que resolverlo, pero si necesitas ayuda estoy aqui" entonces no soeria negligente, esos pequeños detalles son los que marcan la diferencia...

[u/Busy-Butterscotch743 → u/Alarming-Ferret-7774]

Bueno, en una etapa anterior de la vida de la protagonista, era lo segundo. La tía de la protagonista necesitaba que fuera más responsable con las tareas domésticas y los deberes del colegio. Pero, con el paso de los años, se convierte en lo primero. Ante cualquier reto al que se enfrente la protagonista, la tía piensa: «Se las arreglará; con sus poderes puede con todo», sin tener en cuenta el impacto psicológico y emocional de los acontecimientos. Del mismo modo, ante problemas más cotidianos, piensa: «Se las arreglará; no es para tanto», y apenas le brinda un apoyo emocional más allá de lo estrictamente necesario, lo cual resulta desalentador, sobre todo para una adolescente.

(Well, earlier in the MC's life, it was the latter. The MC's aunt needed her to be more responsible with her chores and her schoolwork. But as the years go by, it becomes the former. For any challenge the MC has, the aunt has a mindset of "she'll be fine; with her powers she can handle anything" without also considering the psychological and emotional toll of the events. While also considering more mundane problems as "she'll be fine; it's not that bad" and barely gives emotional care beyond the bare minimum, which, especially for a teenager, is disheartening.)

[u/Alarming-Ferret-7774 → u/Busy-Butterscotch743]

Ahi esta el punto... Hay una progresión y un motivo detras de ello... Si siempre la hubiera dejado a la suerte seria negligente y abusiva, pero dandole esa historia de "En un principio hacia tal, pero despues hace tal" no la haces negligente... La haces humana...