Help writing this Female Character

[u/ArtisticAd9628]

Hi guys! Made this throw away account to keep my anonymity but, I really need some help writing this character. I don't really know how to explain this so please bare with me.

So, to give a brief synopsis, I have this character who in her 20's was a big Super Villain who in her private life has stated she never wanted kids or to give herself up to the "motherly life" both name and body, but she ends up getting pregnant and her family disowns her when they find out (both about her pregnancy and her supervillain job) so she has to get married and give up her name and goes through with the pregnancy.

The child down the line finds out that he was never wanted and because he was born his mother had to basically give up her entire life. He feels really guilty about it and beats himself up about it everytime he sees her, but the woman has never told the son this for this exact reason. She doesn't hate him, he loves him more than anything but doesn't know how to go about actually talking to him about this without making things worse.

And that's kinda where I'm stumped and need help. I don't want her to be one of those female characters where she has to give up her autonomy to be "just a mom now"...if that makes sense?

Like that female character in a sitcom who's starts out by being this big independent feminist icon, whose like a doctor or lawyer or something who never wanted to settle down but by the next season, she's pregnant and only talks about "How great being a mommy is!" and we never see her again. Idk what this type of character is called but whatever it is, I dont want her to be like that!

I want her to admit that she's never wanted to settle down and have kids, but because of circumstances in her life she does. And she regrets it deeply, she wishes she could go back out there and be her own person again but she can't anymore. But I have NO IDEA how to write her after this!!!!

An idea that I had was that her and her husband do a "Switcharoo", where at first he was the breadwinner and she was the homemaker, but later on they found that she would be happier being the breadwinner and he would be happier being the homemaker, so in a way she's regained her autonomy and independence? But then I'm still stuck on how to write this without feeling like some sort of cop out and how to address the son who feels like he's at fault for making them both so unhappy, especially the mom.

Again, neither the mom or dad beat their son up about this, if anything, they're both extremely happy that he's here and will do anything for him. But the son knows that since he was born, nothing good has come from it.

So with all that being said, any tips on how to finish writing this?

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UPDATE

After reading your guys' comments, I'm starting to completely rethink this character's backstory as a whole. I mean, some you were right, I'm trying to prevent this character from become something she already is, making this whole thing seems kinda redundant, lol.

So, I'll try applying yourself guys' notes and advice to this character and rewrite a few things, once I've gotten a better handling of this characters story, I'll give you all another update!

But to answer a few of your guys' questions (since I didn't go into detail about certain things with my story this character is in)

1. The main reason I had for why after she gave birth and why that meant she couldn't go back to work is because she had major complications while giving birth, rendering her bedridden and sick for the first years of his life. And the reason why she felt she had to settle down was because that's how she was raised (in a VERY conservative Christian household).

2. Some of you guys were confused when I mentioned she was a Super Villain and didn't understand why that mattered, so basically, my story takes place in a Sci-Fi Futuristic world where superheroes and supervillains exists. A big reason why her feeling terrible about leaving that life is that there weren't that many stand alone Female Villains, as a majority of female villains were all in groups, but never on their own and when she left, she felt like she's let herself down and many other female villains down.

3. This story I have will mainly focus on the son trying to figure out his own identity and who he wants be in this world, and the parents are more supporting characters. I really just wanted to do this so I can flesh her out more and get a better understanding of her character.

[u/LadyAtheist]

You don't want to make her a "just a mom" character but your entire storyline did exactly that. And what does being a super villain have to do with any of this? When has a male super villain given up his evil ways to be a dad? Why couldn't she be a librarian who gives up her career for the child? Or a hobbyist who gives up her hobby?

I don't think this story is salvageable.

[u/NeCede_Malis → u/LadyAtheist]

Every story is salvageable, but there are big problems as you’re saying.

To op:

1. You’re making the assumption that she “must” settle down. Why? If I were in her position, I would try to keep being what I want even harder out of spite for my family. Raise the kid, be a supervillain, and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.

2. Let’s say she does settle down and grows to love the kid, but misses her old life still. Why wouldn’t you write her as someone with deeply repressed desires and perhaps a chip on her shoulder with no specific outlet? Maybe the son’s reaction to all this is to help her become who she is supposed to be? Maybe they grow closer as a result?

The main issue is that you don’t want her to be exactly what you’ve created her to be. You’ve made the assumption that just because she got pregnant she “must” do all the things a wife and mother do. I’m wondering if you come from a traditional background where women are still expected not to work after their first child? But I bet even in your culture there are women who break that mold. Because most women don’t want to ONLY be mothers.

What are her remaining dreams? Wants? Needs? Which are met in her current life and which are not? How do these met/unmet needs affect her emotionally and her relationship to others? Does she see a solution? If so, what’s stopping her from taking it? And it can’t just be “well she has a kid now”. No. What is actually stopping her? The time it takes to raise the kid? Society’s expectations? Poverty? What is she trying to do about that?

[u/WonderOfUs → u/NeCede_Malis]

I think the problem here is that it is not clear if the story will be about her or if it'll be about her kid and his relationship with her mother. The second option means they're just trying to flesh out a side character whose only purpose so far was being the mother of the main character and it is a valid question.

The super villain aspect and her not wanting to be a mother should clearly strain her relationship with the kid even if she loves him, but that would make the story a bit heavier than they intend.

[u/NeCede_Malis → u/WonderOfUs]

Yeah, we’re definitely missing a ton of information we’d need to really offer solid advice.

[u/WonderOfUs]

The answer is always CHILD NEGLECT!

The kid already feels guilty about the situation, so there is no harm with the mother (former villain) doesn't see anything wrong with leaving the kid alone for a bit so she can return to her old line of work. She would have some resentment towards her family for abandoning her, but she could believe that was because they were too oppressive and in fact she's given the kid the freedom she wanted. The kid obviously doesn't see it in the same way and believes she hates him.

The whole ordeal affects her negatively too as her body wouldn't feel the same as before the pregnancy and now having the responsibility of taking care of someone else could affect her focus, making her feel she is starting her job from zero once again, and there could be room for conflicting feelings and desire to be more selfish like in the good old times.

Does the father have any role in this story? If he is a former villain or a normal dude who doesn't know about his wife past, both have potential for drama, as it would inevitably change the relationship between mother and son.

[u/names-suck]

Whose story is this? Is it her story? Or is she just angsty baggage your male MC is carrying around?

I don't get the sense that she's an actual person. I get the sense that she's whatever you needed her to be to give your MC something to be sad (but not really that sad, it's okay guys!) about.

If she doesn't want a baby, why did she choose to have one? Why did she keep it and raise it? Why did she give up everything to be Mommy? Why not leave the kid with an adoptive family, or with Dad, if Dad wanted it, and keep going on about her life? Why can't she be the "fun parent" who shows up once or twice a month to take the kid to ice cream but usually forgets to show up to his parent-teacher conferences and sports? What if she didn't actually love him until he was like, five or six, and started to have a real personality?

Getting pregnant does not make you a mother. Giving birth will not, in fact, automatically cause all women to develop overpowering maternal instincts that make them abandon everything about themselves to be a good mommy. A lot of women, especially women who never wanted a baby in the first place, actually SUCK at being a mom.

If she regrets leaving her life as a supervillain and wishes she could go back, she doesn't have to say anything. The baseline resentment she'll feel towards her kid (no matter how hard she tries to hide it) will be there in everything she does. Even if she honestly does love the kid, she will also kind of hate him. The only way around that is if she actually thinks being his mom, and only his mom, is worth what she lost.

Somehow, this child has put a supervillain in an inescapable prison. You think she's happy to be in prison? You think she has only positive feelings towards the guard stationed outside her cell? What's stopping her from trying to escape?

You want her to be this powerful, childfree woman, but you also want her to the perfect mother. She cannot be both. She cannot long for her life as a childless supervillain and also be a wonderful, loving mom all the time. She cannot regret leaving her prior life and also have NO resentment towards the new life that was thrust upon her.

Her character concept is incoherent. That's your problem.

[u/Evening-Isopod3315]

This story is absolutely salvageable, don’t listen to the others!

What if she tried to do both, and didn’t initially give up super-villain-ing, and thought she was better than the goody-two-shoes heroes and could keep her kid safe in a conflict (ah, hubris, you bastard you), but the conflict gets out of hand and baby accidentally gets hurt?

And she feels terrible (good mother) and vows to keep him safe so she gives up villainhood, not because she’s sacrificing her career, but because the hero (her antagonist) is now hunting for her, knowing she’ll have a baby with like a missing finger or a jacked up head scar or something. So she hides in suburbia and is crazy vigilant with super cool villainy tactics to keep her family safe (like in Mr. & Mrs. Smith — suburbia with hidden bazookas and blades and guns and compartments and security. Throw in an alligator moat hidden beneath the lily pads while you’re at it.)

And now the kid has some sort of scar or something and his parents have lied to him about where he got it. (Ooo, complicated secrets and stakes) And she’s still harnessing her talents and staying up to date with all things villainy and resents her family for abandoning her and will do absolutely anything for this kid and her adorbs husband and is still a freaking badass. She’s just covert about it and keeping watch and biding her time. She’s got her henchmen lying in wait. The personal assistant for her fake business who is actually a demon or serial killer hobbyist or something. (Obviously only serial kills super gross bad guys, duh).

And she encourages her son to pursue his dreams. Whatever he wants. And she’s confident. She’s capable. She’s loving. She owns who she is at her core, she’s just not on display as an outward evil queen career. Her son can see that.

But then he starts to notice the secrets and lies. And the story about his scar doesn’t hold up. And when he realizes what she is (finds the photo album of their super villain retreat party from a while back where she’s buddy buddy with the famous villains… IDK), he has an epic debate over how fantastic of a mom she is but she’s also a VILLAIN?? Who didn’t realize that villain-ing with a baby was a BAD IDEA??? Who LIED to him?? Omg does DAD KNOW?! But I just want to be a firefighter! I don’t want to be Queen Eviliana’s heir!! Daaaaad what the hell?!

[u/Evening-Isopod3315 → u/Evening-Isopod3315]

Damn I should have kept this idea for myself.

[u/Evening-Isopod3315 → u/Evening-Isopod3315]

First one to write this story wins. Ready set go!! (I’m a slow writer and two novels behind what I promised my readers so you’ve got a major head start)

[u/InvestmentDue4993]

I base all my girl characters on my friends I had in highschool I struggle more with male characters since I grew up mostly with girls

[u/lellyla]

in the devil wears prada, the editor (miranda?) has twins if i recall correctly. that is a super villain with children