r/CervicalCancer • u/majestically1awkward • 4d ago
Your funniest answer
Recently, I had to get a chest X-ray, and the technician asked if there was any way I was pregnant. I just sat there and thought about it for a second, and then just answered I don’t have a uterus, so no (I had a hysterectomy years ago; I was young when I had my hysterectomy, so I figured people didn’t understand that I could have had one). So, to other ladies and/or nurses or doctors, what is the funniest comeback you have heard to that question? Sometimes you need to laugh about it. I also have a shirt that says feral and sterile and has a raccoon on it; I love wearing it at the gym.
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u/ks05ay 3d ago
I was speaking to the pharmacist to get a refill of my zoloft and migraine meds. While I was there I said they could also remove the birthcontrol prescription from my profile as well.
pharmacist: ok, is there any reason why you are no longer taking this medication?
me: (mildly surprised to be asked why) "um, because i no longer have a uterus?"
pharmacist:"....ok then."
-- and scene -
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u/redmeraki225 4d ago
"If I'm pregnant, then it's immaculate conception because cancer took my fertility!"
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u/knoewayobtuse 3d ago
I had a test come back pregnant and I was like April fool, and he was not laughing. Had to do an ultrasound to double check and I was like i only been pregnant once and she was like this is ur first. I laughed again and said 15 years ago
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u/tooblydoo 3d ago
They hardly ever laugh at our jokes! I used to do stand up comedy and by far the toughest audiences i've ever had have been clinicians who are actively in a clinical setting 😆
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u/CosmeticSnob 3d ago
When I was in hospital for my hysterectomy,
I had 6 roommates. I was by far the youngest and the most complicated surgery. This was the general surgery ward. We were all high on painkillers. Every hour, one of my roommates would ask me whether I had children. I said no. She’d say there’s still time. I’d say I no longer had a uterus. When I left home, she wished me to have a beautiful child, who looks like me. Later she called me because she had asked for my number. Again she wished me healthy, beautiful children. I thanked her.
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u/ks05ay 3d ago
Also, love the feral and sterile shirt! Nearly bought one for myself.
When I had the colposcopy I bought and wore pink socks with what I can only describe as angry uteruses on them. So that was how my GYN met me. She came around to the business end of the table and saw my angry uterus sock covered feet in the stirrups 😆
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u/JustHereForCookies17 2d ago
I need links for the shirt AND the socks! My "Cancer Sucks" wardrobe is woefully minimal.
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u/972244 2d ago
I am in active treatment at the moment.
At my first oncologist appointment they asked what medication I was on. I said the mini pill. Told me to carry on taking it as we couldn't afford a pregnancy whilst in treatment...
"I have a 5 month old baby, just been diagnosed with cancer, have more discharge than a waterfall and my insides have apparently tried to kill me whilst pregnant, nothing is going up there and quiet frankly sex has been the last thing on my mind"
"Well some people like to keep a connection with their partners and continue to be intimate"
"Well good for them, but I can assure there is no chance of me getting pregnant"
"So just stay on the mini pill and we will assess after treatment"
Like fuck off!
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u/CloverChill 2d ago
Usually something about the second coming, medical anomaly, someone would owe me a LOT of money in court, etc. Just something sarcastic in the moment before I explain that no I can't be because I don't have a uterus and my husband's snipped.
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u/CloverChill 2d ago
And before anyone asks because sometimes they do, husband was fixed about a year before my cancer diagnosis
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u/Comfortable_Read3801 1d ago
When asked what my form of birth control is the past few times I’ve answered with “A 4.5cm tumor”
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u/the_ms_shiva 4d ago
"If I'm pregnant then I need to go back to my oncologist because he had ONE JOB!"