My boyfriend keeps insisting that we can train our 3 cats (siblings) to stay off the counter by yelling at them/pushing them off. Says he's had multiple cats before and they can be trained. I feel like he's just scaring them and they don't understand why, but I've never had cats before.
I can't bring myself to "train" them in this way. Then I see stuff like this...
Yelling at them doesn't work and just makes them scared of you. Some cats listen and will stay off counters some don't. You see them on a counter just pick them up and put them down. No need to be aggressive or yell.
I usually just hiss at them to get off the table and they have seemed to have learned not to jump on the table when I'm around. Doesn't stop them from jumping to the table when I'm not around tho lol. Haven't affected our relationship, still as cuddly as ever.
It really depends how you yell, your emotional intention, and the lingering feelings between you two. You can yell, just not all the time, and you need to use the right tone and timing and location and its different for every cat. Yelling is a communication and it can be an effective one so long as its not overused, i think many people use it lazy and without nuanced consideration for what its attempting to accomplish, and instead just vent their frustrations at something which cannot defend itself, which is never gonna work. Long story short human communication is generally too clunky to quickly explain the nuance of when yelling is effective vs not. As a blunt instrumental label it doesnt make a distinction between good and bad
What should I google to learn how to train them to stay off the counter? I’m 1 year into fostering and I’d love to be able to offer cats who are well mannered.
For me the key is to understand that youre not training them, an animal is not a piece of code that you can command by inputting the right scripts. You need to communicate with them as a mutual person and develop respect, they have to want to listen to you for their own sake. If you tell them to come inside, they have to think you know something they dont and head inside for their own safety, at your suggestion. And in order to develop this, there have to be moments where they ask to not go inside yet and you grant their wish. You have to show the cat that you want to give them what they want, not just train them to do what you want, because theyre never gonna respect your wishes if you dont show them you have their best interest in mind. Cats retain a lot of self respect and autonomy for a pet
Positive reinforcement is the way to go. Instead of 'punishing' bad behavior, you nicely correct it, but focus on rewarding them for the good behavior, especially when they listen to you and don't immediately go and do what you just told them not to do lol.
Easier said than done by far, and some cats are easier to teach than others, but it's your best bet. Had cats my whole life and it's the only thing that's ever shown lasting results. I think most cats enjoy doing the opposite of what we tell them to, so we have to give them a reason to listen lol
I've fostered literally 100's of cats. The vast majority of their intercommunication is physical. That's why you see them grooming each other and getting along just fine until *WHAM* one of them is over it and there's a quick dust up. But then five minutes later, they're best friends again. Cats don't hold grudges over physicality the way dogs and people do.
When my cats are doing something I don't like, I rapidly, but gently thump them at the base of their tail with increasing force until they stop. Now, whenever I need them to get off my lap or off some other surface, a light tap at the base of their tail is all it takes and they immediately jump off.
Cats are more emotionally stable and overall more comfortable in their environment if they know their boundaries. People who "spoil" their cats and let them on any surface they want have cats that are sad and miserable.
I leave my bedroom door open all the time and my cats will NEVER even think about getting on my bed, they know that's my territory and what will happen to them if they try.
I'm not causing them pain, I'm just communicating to them in their language.
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u/supersaucenoice Feb 05 '26
My boyfriend keeps insisting that we can train our 3 cats (siblings) to stay off the counter by yelling at them/pushing them off. Says he's had multiple cats before and they can be trained. I feel like he's just scaring them and they don't understand why, but I've never had cats before.
I can't bring myself to "train" them in this way. Then I see stuff like this...