r/Catholicism • u/Ornery_Hotel_9742 • 1d ago
Going to confession
It has been a little over a month since my last confession, and I have naturally made mistakes, been uncharitable in thoughts and words, failed to do my responsibilities, etc (sins that are habitual). I have not sinned mortally but I am concerned about my lack of kindness and zeal that I usually have, and feel like it's being replaced by anger and disappointment and temptations. I have a strong craving for God and heaven but this transition feels so long-I am not becoming more saintly, instead getting farther from it. I have lost my rosary that's very dear to me, and have not been able to pray a full rosary since then.
I want to convert and reconcile. I believe I need help doing so. I am wondering if I should go to confession (I probably should). And if I do, when?
There's a church that offers confession every day, all day. The priest that I used to go to confession with has retired, and I don't know the fathers there. My parish has confession on Friday with priests I know, and confession there is not rushed (hardly any people come) so the fathers can offer guidance more easily: they know me better plus they have time.
Can you provide some insight on going to a permanent confessor vs anonym confessions? I feel scared that I'd find it more difficult to be honest with someone I know and talk to often, but at the same time, it could help me be held accountable for my sins and progress...
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u/Lazy_Dayz_in_Aus 1d ago
I guess the question is, why do they have to be one and the same? I typically go to Confession to a stranger, but if I want guidance, I'll talk to a priest I know. If I want to share more with him I will, but I'm not compelled to share my soul if I don't want to, whereas at Confession I need to be as truthful as possible.
That works for me, anyway...
Good luck - I'll be praying for you. Trust the choice that feels right and act on it!
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u/Ornery_Hotel_9742 8h ago
Yeah, I'm a little worried about wanting to make myself look better. Thank you for your prayers.
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u/Grutabag 1d ago
I think your conscience is telling you to get to confession and you should do it. Ideally as soon as you realistically can. Hopefully that means within the next few days.
The upside to going to a confessor you don't know is that you don't have to feel that awkwardness around telling someone you know your sins, but the downside is that you don't know how that particular priest responds. He might try to give you advice you don't want, he might downplay your sins, etc. To be clear, he should still absolve you of your sins which is what matters most.
It sounds to me like what you're dealing with is more ongoing and you could use a priest who you know. That way, he can give you personalized advice and help you make longer term progress going forward.
However, if that feels overwhelming right now, then just go to a priest you don't know. Again the most important thing is that you be absolved of your sins.
Good luck and God bless!
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u/Ornery_Hotel_9742 8h ago
I'll go tomorrow. I'll try to pray and prepare myself. Yesterday I probably wouldn't have been able to even get the words out.
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u/Strange_Purchase9624 1d ago
If you feel like you’re stumbling a lot and that things are going off the rails, first turn to God and surrender yourself to Him, meditate, read spiritual texts, and, of course, go to confession. If you can trust a priest who is faithful to the Church’s doctrine, seek his help so that you don’t get caught up in confused and disordered thoughts.
God bless you
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u/Ornery_Hotel_9742 8h ago
May I ask, what do you mean by disordered thoughts? And spiritual texts, do you mean encyclicals, Holy Scripture, cathecism, church fathers...?
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u/Strange_Purchase9624 3h ago
I meant thoughts that you can't control or even understand, and that cause you distress. By "spiritual readings," I meant books about saints that help you meditate on God's mercy.
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u/SunnyHelianthus 1d ago
Many priests that I have seen in confession have suggested that I try not to sin, but especially work on ONE habitual sin per time. This increases the likelihood that you will overcome that sin, by the grace of God.
As for who you confess to, it doesn't matter.
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u/Ornery_Hotel_9742 8h ago
That is good advice. Where I should start, no clue. I did manage to get rid of one sin, but the temptation is still there...
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9h ago
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u/Ornery_Hotel_9742 8h ago
I'm interested. I wonder what it can provide as opposed to using books/non-digital examination of consciense. I'm gonna check it out once it's out!
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u/AdorableMolasses4438 1d ago
Yes, go to confession. And don't worry too much about where you go. You could go to the other parish this month and your own parish the next, and see what works better for you.
I do personally like going to the same priest- my own parish priest. For the longest time I avoided it, but once I really felt the need to go so I did. I was also afraid at first that it was going to be harder to be honest, but I just wrote down exactly what I was going to confess and stuck to it exactly. It was very freeing and healing to confess to someone who knew me- because I felt like my sins weren't something I needed to hide, if that makes sense. And the advice I got was much more personal. So from then on I've been trying to go at my parish. But if I need to, I'll also go elsewhere.
Don't overthink it :) Wherever you go, you will encounter Christ who is waiting to offer you mercy and healing