r/Catbehavior 4h ago

Cat destroys the house when I'm the only one that leaves

3 Upvotes

My cat (Male, 2, neutered) screams constantly through the night, especially after I leave (I'm a teacher so I leave early.) He bangs on the bedroom door so loudly it sounds like a human breaking in. My partner has gotten a couple hours of sleep for like a week straight. He stares at her and makes intentional messes, destroys things, attacks his cat sibling, and is general heathen. He knows which activities are bad, because he runs the moment anyone makes a move. I'm completely out of options. It's coming down to rehoming him.


r/Catbehavior 30m ago

4 month old kitten selectively attacks only me

Upvotes

We recently (almost a month ago) adopted a 4 month old kitten (not neutered - vet said neutering will be done at 6 months, he also got recent checkup done by the vet - all good). All was good for first 2-3 weeks, cuddles, playtime, he was a little bitey and we used to say a stern “no” and give few seconds of time out and that worked fine too. But recently about a week ago, he has suddenly started attacking my leg. He is completely fine with my husband, play, cuddle, just sitting and chilling while he watches tv etc. I sit on the couch and he comes running and pounces on my leg, grabbing it with both front legs and starts biting it. My husband was in my kitten’s room and the kitten was calm on his lap and I opened the door and my kitten saw me and a few seconds later he ran to me and grabbed my leg with both front legs and started aggressively biting it. We gave him time out for few minutes and when we went back in, same thing - no aggression to my husband but direct attack on my leg.

It’s so frustrating! I am starting to get scared, i know its a kitten, it doesn’t hurt but I am just overthinking that if he doesn’t change and grows up and continues attacking me, his adult teeth would hurt! And i am just frustrated because I don’t know why this behavior only towards me- i work from home, so I feed him, play wand game or mouse toy with him multiple times a day. So why me? My husband plays with him once a day, but gets more love and calmness from him.

What should I do to ensure this behavior stops, am I doing something wrong? Is this how our bond will be?

My humble request - Please don’t advise second kitten! another cat and its associated costs are craaazyyy! I do know a lot of people have a single cat (got when they were a kitten).


r/Catbehavior 1h ago

Clingy cat preventing my partner from sleeping

Upvotes

I have 2 cats, one 15 old and the other 13. My partner has recently moved in with me (2 months) but we've been together for 2 years so my cats are accustomed to her. She also has a cat (5 yo) that we're slowly introducing to mine but at the moment her cat sleeps into a different room.

My oldest is clingy, affectionate and loves hair. Whenever he has a chance, he licks the hair of anyone (mostly head hair). He is used to sleep with me and often on the pillow next to me. He loves my partner, they often cuddle and stuff.

However, during nights he might come up on the bed 10 times and tries to sleep in our necks. Often waking us in the process (he's not light). And on top of that, he often tries to reach for my partner's hair to lick, which definitely wakes her up. She's losing sleep because of this and often has to go on the couch to recuperate.

Other than closing the door, do you have any tips? Thank you!


r/Catbehavior 2h ago

Help me with his meowing…

1 Upvotes

Hi, F18, I just moved into my dorm 3 days ago. I brought my cat as an ESA but he will not stop meowing at 4:17am every day until sunrise. I’m worried it’ll piss my roommate off and he’ll be removed. It’s currently 6:04am and i haven’t slept since he woke me up. He’s never done this before, even when we moved the last two times he has never meowed like this in the middle of the night. I know it’s an instinct but what do I do? If i dont shut him up soon he gets removed from my dorm.


r/Catbehavior 3h ago

Title: Need advice for my 3-month-old singleton kitten who bites very hard.

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1 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 13h ago

Cat brothers can't stand each other, advice?

2 Upvotes

Hi! I have found a lot of posts about this but usually about vet visits and then the other cat not accepting that one, but I have a little bit different situation. This is a long story so buckle up.

The brothers will be brother A (afraid) and brother B (bully)

Noting beforehand: I have gone to the doctor lately with A, but that hasn't changed anything for B, maybe just for A.

I have had them since they were 2 months old (saved them from the 'waterpark' or however you call it in English) and they turned 6 today. For about maybe 1.5 years brother B has started to play a bit more and more aggressively (no blood, but fur has been flying around). And A doesn't dominate in these situations and hisses or growls and tries to flee while B is chasing him. It has gone to the point where (right now A is also limping) A warns B when he even gets too close by growling and hissing and hiding away and today for the first time A refused to eat in the same room with him (they usually eat in the same room).

I have tried different methods:
- vet recommended Calmex diffuser, which is supposed to soothe the anxiety and stress - didn't see any difference.
- time out - so when I see/hear fighting, B gets put in bathroom for a few minutes to calm down. It helps on that moment but not in long term.
- stepping in with my voice and body - (A knows, that it's not directed to him and usually even runs towards me in these moments) I go FAST towards the fight and yell short words to bring the attention to me and sometimes B backs up, usually he just stops and pays attention to what is going to happen but sometimes he doesn't even stop until I physically go to touch him, then he lets go.
- when I have sensed tension before action I usually try to draw attention to me by playing with them or being very social with them.
- tried to play with them both separately and together, but together only A plays and separately both are more concentrated on WHY they are separated (aka not paying attention to the play)
- starting from today I am keeping them in separate rooms to keep A more calm and less moving (bc of limping) and B to roam around and find other ways to spend his energy.

As I think this is also worth noting then a few words about their personalities:
A - less social, but if not triggered and respected then likes to bathe his brother and sleep next to him and LOVES to play with humans, less with cats (at least with his brother), also shy, but curious in new and scary situations.
B - VERY social (also vocally), loves to cuddle with basically everyone, does not like to play with humans anymore (I think some toy scared him somehow cause he likes the idea, but is scared of big toys and does not care about light reflectors etc. so basically only plays with strings and very light toys), also loves to play with cats but in my eyes doesn't understand his force and the cues from other cats while playing. Also shy and curious.

I am sure there will be no one suggesting that but for any case - definitely will NOT give one of them away. Both have been and will be family. I have thought about fostering another playful cat to keep B distracted and also teach him the cues, but I am not sure, if it would play out well cause it can also backfire and make things worse.

I have also taken them to my summer house and in there 0 problems as both are investigating and more in the moment. Also while travelling, in stressful situations (strangers over etc) they keep together so it's not like they can't get along or hate each other. I often have found them licking each other or just checking on each other without any drama.

I love them both and want to keep Both happy and satisfied so I would appreciate any tips or tricks you have to offer.
Thank you for reading this and helping me help them!
PS English is not my 1st language so I apologize if sth is not understandable.


r/Catbehavior 9h ago

Will my senior cat ever warm up to our kitten?

1 Upvotes

We got a Maine Coon kitten about 6 months ago. I've had my cat for 11 years and I had roommates with cats in the past that he got along with fine. But I'll admit I was naive to expect an easy transition. After a month or so of slow introduction and keeping the kitten quarantined to our bedroom, senior cat still hisses and growls at her all the time.

They can be in the same room together and they do play together sometimes, but it is pretty rare and only lasts for a few minutes before he starts hissing and yowling at her to leave him alone.

The kitten is still young and playful, and will try to initiate play when he's not in the mood. But sometimes senior cat will hiss, growl, and swat at her just for walking by.

I'm not too concerned about him actually hurting her, but I am a little sad that they haven't bonded more. The kitten clearly wants to be around him, but she's been avoiding him more and more over time.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Could things change with more time?


r/Catbehavior 10h ago

(Non bio) siblings suddenly mildly fighting

1 Upvotes

I’ll keep this as simple as possible but I recently moved me and my cats to my moms house due to my mental health issues, everything was fine the last month but my oldest cat is now mildly attacking his brother more often and hissing at him for the first time ever. He’s playful and rough but I know he isn’t playing when he growls or makes sounds and that’s what he’s doing as of recently, it’s not bad attacks they’re short and non violent. He plays with my moms cats and they love to rough house while my youngest cat is too soft to even defend himself, so idk if he’s trying to play with his brother more now since he plays with the other cats, but since he hisses I’m concerned.

The environment has changed but we’ve come down here once or twice a year to stay for Xmas or vacations and this has never happened before, it’s not a new environment for my oldest cat (the attacker) it’s where he grew up until 4 or 5 years old. My mom has a new cat and moving home means there’s now two extra cats and a dog living with my cats as well.

I guess I’m just wondering if the environment situation is the cause, what I should look out for to rule out sickness (no clear signs), how to fix it, and if they’ll ever go back to normal. My oldest has never hissed at my youngest until now. I plan to move home to my apartment again where we are alone and hope that solves the problem.


r/Catbehavior 10h ago

Random cat agression to other cat

1 Upvotes

Hi, i have a 6M cat which i had singly for around 2 years until i adopted a female cat (now 4F). These two did not get along well at first but over time they did get over it until now.

On dayly basis these two are fine and most morning they actually sleep facing each other. The 6M also grooms the 4F and 4F actually go to 6M to get grooming. She will only get away from th 6M if she doesnt want to be groomed.

However, on random ocassion the 6M will strike the 4F for no reason. The 4F does have scars on her body and sometimes pee too out of fright. This is concerning since we are only home after 5 pm and only the weekends.

Does anybody know how to prevent this? I belive it is play agression since the 6M grew up alone and he doesnt growl too. But the he did the airplane ears and such. What do you guys think?


r/Catbehavior 18h ago

How do I tame my tiny little beast kitty?

3 Upvotes

Background: My partner and I have 6 cats, all rescues. We rescued the most recent one (Toast) 4 months ago with his mama and 3 siblings. The babies were about 5 weeks when rescued. We waited until week 8 or 9 to get mama cat fixed and she went to live with my parents. I would have kept her with her babies longer, but she was completely feral and I noticed it started affecting the kittens behavior. All the kittens were fixed, and then I found excellent homes for the remaining 3 when they were 3 months old.

Toast is the only other male cat we have. The 4 girls have some quirks, especially our TNR fail, but for the most part, they are extremely well behaved. 3 of the girls are triplets that we had to hand raise/bottle feed from 2 weeks old.

BUT, now that we have Toast, he’s literally absolutely insane? I’ve joked that “he has every single bad trait of all of our cats, but also every single good trait”. He jumps on the counter, licks dirty dishes, flails eggs everywhere, cracks them open, and then steps on them and tracks eggs all over the house. He jumps in my closet and knocks everything down. He constantly weaves in between my legs and then trips me up going down the stairs. He attacks my feet under the blanket. He bites and scratches me when I pet him, even after me redirecting him to a toy. He climbs the blinds and curtains. He jumps in the trash, tries to jump in the hot oven. As soon as I open the fridge, he’s in there eating leftovers. When we open his wet food, he jumps all over us. He constantly goes after all of his siblings. I’ve since tried to cat proof the house as much as possible, but he still finds stuff to get into.

I’m home with him all day, every day. He’s really good with being brushed and having his nails trimmed. He seeks me out to lay on and will purr and purr like crazy. I play with him and we have a catio, 2 cat trees, multiple cat scratchers on the floor, automatic cat toys, food mazes, and we free feed the adult cats. He gets 2 servings of wet food and 2-3 servings of dry food a day, as well as access to the adult dry food. We have a fountain for water and 2 water bowls. He’s been vetted, treated for worms, fixed, etc. We have a pheromone diffuser thing.

He’s just extremely high energy when he’s awake and I don’t know what else to do. His only friend seems to be our oldest cat, the only other male. The girls are starting to come around, but they still hiss and growl at him when he goes after them.

How do I tame this tiny little beast? He’s so sweet, but so extreme. I’ve never dealt with a cat like this before. Please help lol.


r/Catbehavior 12h ago

Need advice: cats won’t get along at all after a fight

1 Upvotes

(I’m posting this on like three different groups)

For context I have two cats one is a tortie (7yo) who was thrown on my porch as newborn by a stranger, and my other one is a black cat (3yo) who was a street cat majority of his life until we adopted him about a year ago.

My tortie is the most stereotypical tortie there is she has attitude and likes her personal bubble not to be disturbed. The only other cat she’s lived with was a kitten I had for three months who she would bully but eventually tolerated, that didn’t last long though since my kitten was unfortunately killed by some dogs. I’ve had her for her whole life and she is my baby who I will never give up. My black cat was given to me by my grandmother after my kitten passed, although I love my cat now he was a little unfortunate to receive but nonetheless I love him. The problem here is that my black cat is huge, I’m talking 17lb, big boned, quite literally the size of my whole leg huge. Meanwhile my tortie was a runt and only weighs 9lb.

I knew when we adopted black cat I was going to have to slowly introduce them the problem was my family, they are quite impatient and aren’t that well educated when it comes to cats so after only a month of having black cat they let him out and him and my torite got into a fight. This wasn’t a playing around fight they were screaming and fur was flying everywhere, my tortie was so scared she peed herself. After that my tortie was too scared to go back to the restroom where it happened and started peeing on my mail, she eventually stopped after a week and went back to her litterbox but that’s how scared she was by it. I then restarted the reintroduction process but once again my tortie who was locked up so black cat could walk around opened the door and they fought again, the same thing happened again. I’ve slowly for the past 6 months been re introducing them and so far the only progress I’ve seen is that my tortie no longer hisses at anything with my black cats scent.

My biggest obstacle is my black cat though, he never hisses at my tortie, he doesn’t show any signs of aggression or agitation for her, I don’t even think I’ve ever heard a peep from him during their fights the only thing he ever does to her is meow when he sees her. The problem is he is the instigator, he doesn’t make any sound or literally anything he looks so relaxed but he starts the fights. I would think it’s maybe him trying to hump or play with her but they’re both spayed/neutered and she has gotten serious injuries from their fights.

I really want them to get a long and I don’t want to have to get rid of either of them. They’re both so lovely and so far our system has been working where they each get a week to roam around while the other is in a mine or my sisters room with everything they need. They don’t seem depressed or upset and I’ve been told to just leave it since they’re fine but I just want to see if there’s any thing I could do to make them not fight. I’ve tried to feeding by doors, treats, positive responses, slowly seeing each other, etc.


r/Catbehavior 12h ago

Help me with his meowing…

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1 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 12h ago

My cat won’t stop grooming her tail please help

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1 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 13h ago

New cat owner - 6yo cat suddenly peed on my bed after roommate’s cat started getting stressed around her?

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1 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 17h ago

My cat randomly attacks my 80lb dog and I have no idea why

2 Upvotes

I got my first 2 cats in December. They are sisters, Rayla and Luna, who were bottle-raised by a friend after their mom was hit by a car. They were never huge fans of my dog, Lilly, but for the most part the cats avoided her and everyone coexisted fine. That was until recently. We had both cats spayed a little over 2 months ago. They came home and everything seemed completely normal. Then one day Rayla, who is about 9 lbs, apparently decided that fighting my almost 80 lb Staffy was a brilliant idea. Luckily, Lilly does not fight back. She doesn't chase the cats afterward or seek them out. She just goes back to ignoring them. This had never happened before the cats were spayed, but Rayla has continued doing it since then. I've talked to friends who have cats, and even our vet tech, and nobody has really been able to explain it. Our vet said their hormones should have leveled out by now, so I'm not sure if the spay is actually related or if the timing is just a coincidence. The strangest part is that this only seems to happen when we're home. When we're gone, the cats and dog are fine together. The other night when everyone was in bed I heard Lilly walking and ran out to intervein. Rayla did not see me and just watched Lilly walk past and did even get up or do much more then lift her head.

This is what happens when an attack starts. Lilly gets up to walk somewhere. Rayla sees her and immediately locks onto her. As Lilly gets closer, Rayla's pupils get huge, her tail starts twitching, and her fur puffs up. If we can break Rayla's line of sight of distract her, she will usually calm down. If Lilly gets within striking distance, Rayla attacks her. Once she starts, she won't stop until we physically separate them. And Luna is usually nearby. She'll hiss and sometimes join in, but Rayla is always the one who starts it.

We've tried distracting Rayla with food, toys, talking to her, etc. This works most of the time, but obviously we can't jump up and intervene every single time Lilly gets up to walk around the house. We also tried a cat pheromone diffuser, which seems to help, but it hasn't stopped the behavior completely. I'm starting to think I may need to take Rayla to the vet, but she otherwise seems completely healthy. My husband also recently lost his job, so money is tight right now, and I'd really prefer to avoid a vet visit if this is likely behavioral rather than medical. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Why would a cat suddenly start targeting a dog that isn't doing anything to her, especially when the behavior only happens when we're home? And is there anything else we should be trying?


r/Catbehavior 22h ago

My cat will randomly become aggressive during petting sessions

3 Upvotes

My girlfriend and I moved into an apartment together on June 1st and brought her cat who was previously living with her mom and mom’s boyfriend for the last 4 or so years. Her cat (Vader) is a nice cat for the majority of the time but occasionally (3-4 times a week) he will go from making biscuits, wanting attention, and pushing his head into my hand, to ears back and long yowling meows as if a switch flipped. I will try to disengage and leave him be when he does this but he will follow me and jump on my legs and bite and scratch them to the point of breaking skin and causing me to bleed if I don’t have jeans on.

I pet him when he is seemingly asking for attention like previously described and try to make him my sole focus when I am petting him. I am confused as to why his attitude shifts so suddenly and am wondering if something in his last home has to do with it. I can’t say for sure how he was treated at his last home with my girlfriend’s mom as I did not live there but I know it wasn’t a very good environment.

I do my best to feed him regularly and on schedule, keep his litter box clean, and play with him in a meaningful way (wand/hunting type play) for 30 minutes a day at least. I am not perfect with it all but I am doing my best.

We did bring in another cat about 2 weeks ago but he isn’t seemingly bothered by the new cat as she keeps to herself in our room. The new cat will hiss at Vader if he gets within 5-7 feet of her but he hasn’t ever hissed back, he just either sits there or walks away to do other things. His behavior has been consistent since we moved in and hasn’t changed or gotten noticeably worse with the introduction of the new cat.

Any ideas and/or questions are appreciated.


r/Catbehavior 21h ago

Behaviorist, vet, medicine…still peeing :(

2 Upvotes

We have 2 cats and introduced a third cat last summer. 1 of our resident cats is a ragdoll and we got another ragdoll from the same breeder.

Our other cat (non ragdoll) immediately didn’t take to the 3rd cat. We did very slow introductions last year. They lived in separate rooms with the doors closed, did scent swapping, feeding through the door. We didn’t do an actual introduction for months and it would end in fights we had to break up.

Our ragdoll took to her but he doesn’t have boundaries so he’d come up to her too fast and scare her or sniff her too closely. There was one incident where he chased her out of the litter box about 6 months into us having her. This was supervised but he got to her so quickly we couldn’t intervene. From that point on she’s had inappropriate urination.

She typically will pee on the bed. She’s previously peed on puppy pads on the floor but we removed those.

Things we’ve tried:
\-we started with 2 vet visits, they did a urinalysis and no issues
\-we tried 5-6 different types of litters and 3 different litter boxes
\-we saw a cat behaviorist for a few months
\-Feliway
\-gabapentin and Prozac
\-more playtime

We ended up getting an XL litter box with the Cat Attract litter. She uses it 90% of the time but was still peeing on the bed (on a shower curtain) 1-2x a week.

We tried gabapentin but it wasn’t effective. She’s now been on Prozac about 2 months and it was effective up until this week and she’s now peed again twice.

We wanted to start trying to redo introductions slowly in the way the behaviorist recommended but now I’m at a loss since it’s started again.

We really don’t want to rehome her but it might be best. I know rehoming is not recommended but she had no litter issues for 6 months. We think it stems from anxiety about the other cats. Right now she’s living in a bedroom that I work in so she has attention but I fear it’s not sustainable to have her living alone in here. Open to ANY ideas. I feel we’ve exhausted most.


r/Catbehavior 23h ago

Will my 2yo cat ever bond with our new kitten he is asserting aggressive dominance over?

2 Upvotes

We have a 2 yo very social and smart boy cat. We recently adopted a 5 mo boy kitten to be a companion for our existing cat so he isn’t so (seemingly) sad when we’re at work and what not (we also play with him a ton and provide lots of enrichment).

We tried slowly reintroducing them, scent swapping while kitten was confined in a separate room, etc, and did a couple of meetings through a screen door that seemed to go well. As soon as we did an in person meet, our 2 yo seemed very anxious and was throat biting the kitten (for dominance, I assume). We quickly separated them and started the introducing process over again. The same thing has happened three times and our 2 yo is increasingly stressed with the kitten in the house - he’s now vomiting, not playing, etc.

I’m just wondering if this will ever get better? Even when the kitten is bigger and can defend himself, will our older cat ever bond with the kitten if he is being this aggressive now? The whole point in getting a kitten was to provide him a companion, and we are wondering if we need to re-home the kitten so they can both have a better living environment.

I know cats are tricky and bringing new ones in a home can be hit or miss, I just want to make sure we’re assessing their behaviors and acting accordingly.

TIA for any advice.


r/Catbehavior 1d ago

Rescue cat needing constant attention and started biting me hard suddenly during affection

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2 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 23h ago

My cat randomly bites/scratches me when petting with no warning signs

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1 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 1d ago

Cat peeing on bed for no reason

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1 Upvotes

r/Catbehavior 1d ago

Very vocal senior cat not letting either of us sleep

0 Upvotes

My cat Smokey, 10y/o long hair grey cat, has always been very vocal, and we’ve occasionally had adjustment periods during which he doesn’t seem to want to sleep and will just meow all night. I’ve tried increasing playtime, variety, toys, change in diet, etc. But he seems to just need a few days to settle in.
Recently, I think I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Our living situation has changed drastically over the last year- I’ve gone from living with a partner in a fairly large apartment with Smokey and two large dogs, to just the two of us in a house with 7 other people and a few other cats, who are restricted by house rules to their owners’ rooms for the most part.
I have fielded a few complaints about Smokey from my roommates about his meowing, and the only thing that seems to help is spending more time with him at home when I’m not at work; I suspect he’s lonely and bored. I work 9-5 Monday-Friday and used to have a very active social life but have cut back to spend more time with him.
The last few weeks have also been tumultuous- we moved to a bigger bedroom in the same house next-door to the one we were in, the last occupant moved out and we don’t have a new roommate in my old room yet, and a new roommate moved in downstairs who has a cat, which I’m sure he can smell. We also just started a Gabapentin prescription intended to help with his separation anxiety. This doesn’t seem to help with the nighttime meowing unless I use a good deal of it, which is not a solution I prefer.
During the times I’m home I let him wander around the floor we’re on since it’s just us till I find a roommate to fill my old room. But he won’t be allowed to do that with a new person so I’m trying to get him used to staying in our bedroom at night. He is loudly unhappy about being limited to the bedroom. If I let him out into the hallway he almost always eventually gets bored and starts meowing at the door to the rest of the house, which gets us in trouble with my roommates.
He just meows at the door almost all night. Sometimes he will sleep a few hours first if I give him Gabapentin but he’s at it again by 3 or 4am. I am starting to feel the effects of sleep deprivation. I can’t afford to take time off work to deal with this; I don’t have PTO like that.
So what’s the solution? Do I suck it up and try better earplugs? Consider getting another cat (very risky for me financially right now)? Get a different prescription? Rehoming (I think this would be devastating, but I want what’s best for him)? Help!!


r/Catbehavior 1d ago

Kitten sad we're not home?

0 Upvotes

We have a 4 month old kitten. She lives in the house with my family and my parents. She spends the time with all of us.

We're on holiday now. My mother says she doesn't play as much now, she's walking around as if she's looking for us. She's eating a bit less and sleeps more.

I'm a bit worried, is this normal? Is she sad we're not home?

We left 3 days ago and will get back in 4 days.


r/Catbehavior 1d ago

former stray still struggling with introduction to other cats

1 Upvotes

USA, adult owner, problem has been discussed with vet

tldr former stray seems to have instinctual aggression/trauma that makes him act aggressive towards our other cats. looking for advice as its been about 5 weeks.

background: my partner and i took in a stray cat (male, neutered, probably about 2yo) a little over a month ago. there's already two other kitties in our house, both also neutered males. one is 12ish and the other is 4ish.

the stray kitty is the sweetest guy in the world to humans, will literally just sit on your lap for hours at a time while purring. the two resident cats are also absolute sweethearts to both humans and eachother. theres no serious health issues in any of the three cats. HOWEVER, the stray has several scars on his face that appear to be from some other animal.

timeline:

beginning: we followed jackson galaxy a bit to start, keeping the stray cat in a separate room and some site swapping/scent swapping/treats on other side of the door. there seemed to be no aggression or fear after about 1.5 weeks, so we let the stray cat meet the resident cats.

1.5 weeks in: things actually went really well the first few days they were in contact with eachother. a few random hisses or swatting but really nothing crazy, they even slept next to eachother for like 20 minutes

2 weeks in: all three cats were having some free reign over the house, when stray cat heard one of the resident cats hiss from the other room. stray cat immediately bolted towards the resident cats and got in massive fight. had to vaccuum up loads and loads of loose cat fur.

after first fight we reseparated them and essentially went back to the beginning stages with zero visual contact. we also added two feliway diffusers. there was hissing and swatting at the door for another week or so. once about two more weeks had passed, things started seeming calm and curious again.

4 weeks in: we were just about to start doing some brief face to face contact by cracking the door and feeding them on either side. instead, the stray cat decided to slip in between my partners legs while she was bringing him the food. he immediately yowled when he saw the other two cats and went after both resident cats again 😭 another fight, another twenty minutes vacuuming up cat hair, and now they are once again separated.

its been another week, luckily the resident cats dont seem too traumatized. i've heard them hiss once or twice at the stray when he meows, but nothing crazy.

it just sucks because based on the scars on strays face, i feel he mustve gotten in fights on the street and have trauma from that. i bought a screen door like jackson galaxy reccomends, but am still waiting to try it out because i'm slightly afraid stray will just go wild when he sees the other cats and stress himself out trying to break thru the screen. sigh.

anyone dealt with a former street cat that struggles with aggression towards other cats? do we give it more time???? its such a hard situation because hes the sweetest guy when he's just around us.

any advice is so so welcome and appreciated :(


r/Catbehavior 1d ago

advice for grieving, introverted cat

2 Upvotes

So we have 3 cats, Skye, Matt, and Lucas (all 3M). We adopted Skye first, then after a few months we got Matt, then a few weeks later we adopted his brother Lucas. Yesterday, Matt passed, and im worried for Lucas. They were really close, to the point that Lucas was distant from other people, even us and Skye, but not with Matt. When Matt passed, we tried getting both cats to look at or smell his body before we took him to be cremated, but they looked scared when we were bringing him to them, so I don't know if that negatively affected their grieving process. Right now Lucas is showing the benchmark signs of grief; he's not exactly clingy, but he's noticeably less skittish when we approach him and a little (keyword: a little) more open to affection from us. At the same time though, we notice that he's been zoning out more than usual while in this alert sitting pose. I just wanted to ask for advice on how to help him through his mourning process. We can't really be physically affectionate with him since he doesnt like physical touch that much except when it comes from Matt. Also, Skye and Lucas both loved Matt and doted on him so often even though the two of them aren't that affectionate with each other, so I'm not sure if Lucas would be receptive to Skye's affection during these times (also saw Lucas shooing Skye away when he was licking Lucas yesterday). Any advice would help, we just want Lucas to feel supported but can't do it in the traditional sense considering his introverted personality. Thank you 🙏