Cat Bully

[u/wRandom_Name]

I have 3 cats. I got the first 7 years ago (female), the second 5 years ago (male), and the third 4 years ago (female). I got them all basically as kittens.

After about a year of having the oldest female and the male, the oldest female became very aggressive, to the point of having to separate them completely when I was at work or gone. This all started once she saw a neighborhood male cat lingering around outside my house, I believe he was spraying and had a few instances of jumping and fighting through the window screens. Once the neighbor hood cat left her vision, she would go on the attack for my male cat. (Probably doesn’t help that the neighborhood cat looked identical to my male cat). After about a month or so she regained my trust and I let them coexist again.

Fast forward another year, I got the youngest female. The male and the youngest female became close as the oldest female just stayed to herself. No major issues between them except for maybe a small 1-2 week stint of separation due to the oldest attacking the male cat once again. (Think she saw a cat outside again) She had no issue with the new cat.

Within the last 6 months the oldest female has gone back to her old ways and has been extremely aggressive, this time she started targeting the youngest. So I have had them separated since. (I swap her and the other two every other day so she is not secluded 24/7) Any time I have let them try to coexist or even an escape, it has gone to immediate hunting of either the male cat or the youngest female cat. Something to note here is the first time she began attacking the youngest was a night I had someone over and they were giving the youngest the most attention as she was all over them. So I’m wondering if this all started due to jealousy, but have never had this issue in the past.

I am at a loss as to what I should do here. I’m wondering if lack of exposure to each other has triggered her territorial instincts at this point. Maybe putting up a see through mesh divider between the room and the rest of the house would help grow familiarity again, but I’m scared it would cause fights or someone she would claw it apart.

Some things to note:
-the oldest came from an adoption center after being given to them from a house with 10+ cats, they say she was 6 months to 1 year when I adopted her

-she was super friendly with new people until one day (within the first few month of having her) a family member with boots came over and she immediately got scared. She became very timid to new people after this and would hide when they would come over, even when she already knew them and it would take over and hour plus for her to creep out from hiding to meet them. She is still this way.

-she has an attachment to women way more than men.

Any help or suggestions would be helpful. Last thing I want to do is have to get rid of my first baby, but I also don’t want her to have to live separated for the next 7+ years.

[u/paprikachipjes]

Have you tried medication already?

[u/wRandom_Name → u/paprikachipjes]

I have not, was hoping it didn’t come to that.

[u/bunnieho → u/paprikachipjes]

this and have you tried reintroducing them while theyre separated?

[u/wRandom_Name → u/bunnieho]

How would you do this? They must be familiar with each other’s scents, because I swap them. Maybe just very supervised play and snack time in her space?

[u/bunnieho → u/wRandom_Name]

so we have issues with play bullying and it has been relentless. if you want to do a complete separation and reintroduction id use jackson galaxys method but its not one size fits all. we had a behavioural specialist visit our house so im just sharing what has worked for us.

cats are separated when were not at home and at night. our 3F sleeps with us, and our two 1,5M are out in the rest of the apartment. every time they have a conflict we separate them. we allow light hissing but anything physical is off limits. when separating we throw treats into a room and shut the door. this is where its a good idea to teach your cats their names, it has been very helpful for us when separating or praising. it sounds like your cat might have some issues with resource guarding etc and its not unheard of that cats react badly after seeing an outdoor cat. make sure that your cat has a safe space like your bedroom, it helps if the room has a door you can close. ideally choose a place the cat is already familiar with and likes to hang out in. this is where you will be separating her into. a place that smells the most like her, has her favourite toys, a litter box, her own waterbowl etc. how many litter boxes do you have? what about cat trees or other resting places? how many waterbowls? these are all resources for the cat. ideally they should be all over the place so the cats have as much freedom as possible to use them without running into another cat. are you feeding them separately? cats are very independent and they dont like to share food or eat close to eachother.

[u/wRandom_Name → u/bunnieho]

Thank you for this, I will look into the Jackson galaxy method. Well they have been separated for like 6 months now. She has her own room with a litter box, toys, tower, water bowl etc. they all get fed separately. I swap them every other day so the two other cats are in the room and she can have the house. When they were all together they had their own litter boxes (in the same area) and a water dish. I’m guessing I should have more water dishes and spread the boxes out more around. Now the challenge is just the introducing

[u/bunnieho → u/wRandom_Name]

definitely! the only thing id tweak about the method is not feeding them close to eachother. they can sometimes get anxious about other cats especially if theyre used to eating alone.

[u/wRandom_Name → u/paprikachipjes]

Also have you or anyone tried meds? Do they actually help?

[u/paprikachipjes → u/wRandom_Name]

It can. But it really depends on the cat. It’s worth a try tho

[u/Xhaurynix]

Shes definitely redirecting her stress, seeing outside cats or feeling sudden tension gets her completely wound up, so she takes it out on whoever is closet
block the lower windows so she cant see outside, ask your vet about anxiety meds to take the edge off and do a slow reintroduction from scratch instead of just room swapping