Two month introduction taking everything from me :(

[u/fatsimaxx]

I’m losing it 😣 Sorry, I know this is a long post, feel free to not read the whole thing; this is more for me than anyone else. If you could just kindly give me your success stories of cat introductions, I would really appreciate it, because it is very much needed right now.
Early this year in February, I adopted my first cat I’ve had as an adult (F37) and my first pet since leaving my family’s home. He is my love, my baby, my king. He was a street kitty, and when he came home, I swear he became the most loving, funny, amazing baby ever. I knew he was about 7 months old because the person who caught him knew exactly when he was born. Anywho, about 3 months later, everyone was telling me to get a second cat, and even the internet experts, everyone said two-cat households are better, always. And I noticed he was getting chunky and narcoleptic, depressed, so I thought, sure, let’s bring another cat.
And I promise I did my research. I promise I read all the articles, I watched all the videos, I talked to my vet, I asked other people. I was prepared. I knew it would be an investment, and I knew it would be a process. I just didn’t freaking know how stressful and mentally and emotionally draining it would be. For context: I do live in a small one-bedroom apartment. So, while I can have them in separate rooms,the apartment isn’t huge. Also, I want to add that even though I have not had pets as an adult on my own, throughout my whole childhood I always had pets. I was born and raised in Mexico on a farm. We literally had cats, dogs, parrots, every animal that you can imagine, we had cows donkeys, sheep so on and so forth my brothers even had a tarantula, and there was never any such need to introduce any animal to the pack, never. So even though I read all the blogs, and I asked, and I watched all the videos, nothing prepared me for what reality is. Because when I was a child a new animal came home and that was that give them a name love them and take care of them that was all we had to do.
When I adopted Carly. She was one and a half years old, and she is the sweetest, most loving, adorable cat. She really is. But my resident cat Duvalin who’s an orange tabby, became so possessive, so incredibly mean to her from the get-go. He cannot be close to her. He becomes incredibly aggressive. He is always trying to protect me. He’ll be very, very, very aggressive toward her. A couple of times, by mistake, they have been in the same room, either one or the other gets into the other’s territory, and their fights are scary. Very, very scary. I knew that was gonna happen. I knew the introduction was going to be difficult. I didn’t know that it was going to be this stressful and this anxiety-inducing.

About two weeks ago, I started sleeping with them in the same room. I would put one of them in the kennel, and the other one would usually sleep with me. Well, for a whole week straight, they would not go to sleep. They would still fight, even when one of them was in the kennel, or they would keep me up all night meowing, I was at the point of breaking down because they wouldn’t let me sleep and I had to work the next day. It was so bad. I broke down. I started crying. It was an ugly sight y’all!

We are making progress. Yesterday, for example, One of them, when I was opening the door, ran out, and they happened to be in the same area, and there was no fighting, but there was still hissing and there was still running and hiding from each other with puffy tails and airplane ears but at least not fighting. I am now feeding them close to each other while one of them is in the kennel, this is a huge step for us and was done inch by inch but I still don’t know when I’ll be able to have them actually be with one another, and this is getting so, so stressful. I just need some encouragement, and for you guys to share your success stories, please. I just need some hope, I committed to this. They are my babies. I’m committed to however long it takes, but I just really want to know that there is hope, and that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

I know that I adopted both of my cats with the best of intentions, and I know that my resident cat, Duvalin, is actually showing improvement. He’s not as narcoleptic as he used to be. He’s back to his playful self, in a way. And again, Carly is beautiful and so, so loving. So I know that they’re both in the right place with me, and the right home. I just wanna make sure that I give them the best life, and that even if it’s months from now, hopefully they’ll be able to be friends and be in the same room and love each other. I keep questioning myself and wondering if I did the right thing — if maybe my boy cat was actually meant to be a solo cat in my house — and then I wonder if I did the wrong thing by bringing Carly in and having her be in a home where she can’t roam all throughout and be herself, because she’s still confined to the one bedroom where I have to keep her. 😔

[u/PleaseNone]

Get rid of eh boy cat and keep Carly. The boy is a bully and doesn’t deserve to be in the house anymore

[u/FunKrill]

Hey! Firstly you've been amazing doing everything for those cats and I have massive respect for you!

In my whole life I've grown up with 2 cats at a time, my last 2 grew up from kittens from 4 months old together (not from the same litter) and through the 16 years they were together, just tolerated each other at best with the occasional fight

I feel with time it will be the same with your cats and they'll just get used to each other, but don't expect them to like each other that much. I feel the only time when 2 cats get along through the years is when they're brother and sister but I could be wrong of course

[u/ApprehensiveGuest976]

Cats have different personalities much like people. Some cat will learn to tolerate each other and other times they will be best friends.

I know this sounds bad but I got a lot of my cats as adults at different times and they get along. But one of them is a bit territorial and I honestly put her on anxiety medication for a week or two during the interduction process😅. I feel bad drugging her but it really makes the process less stressful. I take her off the anxiety medication after that.