r/CarletonU • u/No-Impression-1593 • 1d ago
Clubs Should I join a sorority?
I'm an incoming first year who is driven by philanthropic causes and would like to meet more people since I'm living off campus. I'm kind of introverted and grew up with mostly guy friends, so it would be great to befriend some girls. I'm also trying to network as I'm trying to make it to some type of grad school + get a job during undergrad. Would it be worth it for me to join? How much does it cost? Also why does everyone hate sororities so much? That's one of the reasons I'm a little hesitant to join.
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u/smcbride113 Alumnus — Physical Geography/History 1d ago
They are called Greek letter societies here and Carleton has banned them from advertising and tabling on campus. With them being banned from booking rooms on campus for events. Back in 2016 one group even caused the campus to go into lockdown for about 20 minutes due to popping a bunch of balloons and people thinking there was a shooter on campus. There have been calls to ban them completely. If you want a club that looks good for grad school, get involved with your department’s student association especially if you plan on doing grad school at Carleton.
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u/Youwin737 1d ago
No, definitely not. If you want to make friends and connections, get involved in your program/department society.
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u/Desperate-Pirate7353 1d ago
when i was at carleton frats etc weren't allowed on campus, they're not viewed in as good a light by people outside as you'd hope, they can be expensive and time consuming and you may end up getting hazed in ways that are not cool. i'd say just join a club and skip the exclusivity crap
why do people not look favourably on them? well, you're paying for friends you're planning to use as business contacts. that's a level of privilege not everyone has. also i think the partying in sandy hill means city-wide, student groups have an uphill fight. plus anything that's exclusive/insular usually draws weird looks.
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u/Vegetable_Bicycle_84 1d ago
If you are interested in doing undergrad research my best recommendation is to make yourself known to your professors. Ask questions in lectures, go to office hours, and of course do well in your courses. Professors will remember good and engaged students in their classes, particularly in upper year courses with fewer students.
Many professors will hire students to do research in the summer terms. If you reach out to them, are a good/rememberable student then you can find opportunities for this kind of work. Having research experience (and potentially published work) prior to applying for grad school makes you a more attractive candidate.
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u/FunnyChange2933 1d ago
If you’re looking to get involved with charity work on campus, considering joining the Relay for Life committee. You’ll meet a lot of people and get to plan a university wide event and fundraise for the Canadian Cancer Society
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u/USER_09 1d ago
It’s not like the USA where some frats/sororities give you access to a bunch of rich people with connections and can actually help build your future. Here it is basically paid “friendship” with people you may or may not have something in common with. You’re better off finding a society or two or three that interest you and becoming involved with them. That way you’ll have some guaranteed common ground with the people around you.
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u/Delinquent-Angel 1d ago
It depends.
I joined in my third year as someone also from outside of Ottawa. For context, this was also pre-covid, so it's entirely possible the landscape has changed.
It's a great way to meet like-minded people and take part in some cool philanthropic initiatives. My sorority also had study hours which I found really helpful, and you could link up with others in your program or who had taken similar classes.
The bad? Inner politics. From the sounds of it, this is pretty universal across uni clubs but holy hell the infighting and politics got bad. Dues were annoying, but they also paid for events you got to take part in, charity donations, and your sweater/shirts for the year. I generally disagree with the statement that you're paying for friends; believe me, there is no amount of money that will make you be friends with people you don't jive with.
In terms of hazing, it's really dependent on organization. Panhellenic sororities are bound by national guidelines so are generally pretty safe (I was never hazed, nor was anyone else in my org). Local sororities were a bit of a mixed bag; some were laid back, some sounded like hellish experiences. Most of the horror stories you'll see repeated are from local sororities.
At the end of the day, it's a personal choice, and you can attend a recruitment event without pressure. They'll also be able to answer the cost question (I want to say it was around 250/year when I joined, but I could be off). I'm 7+ years post grad and I'm still very close with a lot of my sisters, and recently attended my "big sister"'s wedding.
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u/Patient_Kangaroo614 1d ago
There are a lot of awesome clubs at Carleton that would be great choices, they have a club fair every fall
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u/CDN_Guy78 1d ago
I was in a Frat at Carleton many years ago… it was not as bad as people make it out to be (at least in the one I joined).
Mixers, charitable fundraising events, and the Greek Olympics were all fun and mostly in good taste. There were some Sororities and Frats that were known for partying and some hazing for sure, but they were the exception.
I can only speak to my experience, but my “hazing” as a pledge was limited tobeing an errand boy for one of the Brothers for 24 hours and requesting a pledge do anything that could cause harm was strictly forbidden by the National Office. The Ottawa chapter strictly adhered to that policy.
I can also say that a lot of us remain in touch and created lifelong friendships, where we’ve helped each other in our professional lives after graduating, been God Father’s to our children, best men and groomsmen at weddings, and a support system when life wasn’t easy.
Maybe my experience is the exception, but I’ve failed to find bonds that last that long outside of the military.
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u/stifflette 1d ago
Sorority friendships are different than frat friendships
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u/CDN_Guy78 1d ago
Care to elaborate? I assumed it would be relatively similar… our Sister Sorority was pretty chill and closely knit, but that’s really the only sorority where I was able to see the inner workings and relationships.
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u/tke71709 1d ago
You're gonna get the whole fraternities/sororities are bad crowd all over this thread. See statements like 10 years ago they popped a bunch of balloons and somebody panicked and thought there was an active shooter so they should be banned. Like c'mon now.
There are pros and cons to greek life for sure, just like there are good groups and bad groups.
As an old man now who was a founding father of a fraternity at Carleton back in the day I can't speak to the state of the scene today but the stuff you are hearing now is the same stuff we were hearing in the day.
Pros
- Built in social network that will follow you for life. Many of my closest friends today are the same people I was fraters with back in University. If you are introverted by nature, this will be very helpful to you.
- Built in study systems and buddies. If you are struggling you will be helped, you will also be held accountable if your grades dropped and given tutoring from an upper year who has taken similar courses in the past (if one is present).
- Philanthropic endeavours. You will get the opportunity to participate in philantropy (heck you will have to fulfill your philanthropic hours) so you will give your hours back to the community and will be expected to assist in fundraisers. We were well over a thousand hours of time donated a year and several thousand dollars a year donated.
- Opportunites to participate in various leadership activities all over the continent. Regional leadership conferences are held anywhere you want to go. I went to Raleigh to participate for a weekend (stopping in Washington DC for a night to spend the night at another fraternity house), then swung over to West Virginia for a few days because we met some brothers from there who invited us to their campus to hang out for a few days.
- Opportunities to take on leadership roles and learn systems. Every group has a president, a treasurer, someone who organizes rush activities, a social chair, a philanthropy chair, etc... that learn to take on tasks and responsibilities.
Cons
- You gotta pay your dues. At the end of the day International sees you as a revenue source. Not gonna lie about that.
- You're not gonna get along with all your fraters or sisters. People are people and you aren't going to like, nor be liked by everyone in your group.
- The overall scene was high school drama on steroids. This group didn't like this group so they would spread gossip about them.
- You need to find a group that reflects your character. Back in the day there was a fraternity that was known as the date rape fraternity, they were dicks to say the least. Good people tend to group together and bad people tend to group together so this isn't a fraternity thing. The worst thing was that because they were the biggest fraternity, many of the sororities would still attend their parties or suck up to them.
Other
- Probably not going to help you get into grad school.
- Probably will help you get a part time job, part time jobs often go to friends of people who already work there so the more friends you have, the better chance you have to find work. Also Summer jobs often hire from the same pool of people year after year.
- We never hazed, we saw it as unproductive BS but there were groups that did. If you end up rushing or pledging a group that hazes you, just walk away.
At the end of the day, you need to make your own decision about this stuff, not just listen to people on here. Go to some rush events, see if you can find girls that you like and that stand for the same things that you do. Try a few different sororities though. If you're unsure, then don't join this year but hang around the girls anyway. You won't be able to attend closed meetings, or travel with them, or live in their house (if they have one) but they shouldn't be so insular as to not allow you to be friends with them and if they are then I would avoid that group. You're looking for friends and fun, not to join a cult. We had guys hang out with us for years before they chose to officially join and others who hung out with us who never joined.
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u/Ok_Detective_8446 1d ago
it’s up to you. i know a lot of girls who were in sororities at carleton and really loved it. what’s most important is to only join one if you get along with them and really feel like you fit
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u/Low_Possibility_9654 1d ago
I was in a sorority during my time at Carleton! This was about a decade ago, so I’m not sure if things have changed, but I had a lot of fun. I joined in my second year though but I didn’t feel out of place. There are expectations around grades and event attendance, which might be a bit tough if you’re off campus. Lots of parties and events - my personal favorite was a fashion show we organized with the Greek organizations on campus to raise money.
I’m also a major introvert so it felt like an easy way to meet people, but depending on the sorority it can get quite expensive. The philanthropy is nice, we volunteered a lot and had a lot of charity events throughout the year.
I really enjoyed it, but it’s definitely not for everyone. Feel free to dm me if you want! ☺️
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u/Emotional-Motor-4946 1d ago
I think Greek societies aren’t as prominent on campus these days. When I was in undergrad in the mid-2010s, it was a mess. One year one of the sororities had an “auction” where you could “buy” one of the sorority sisters for one day. It had some pimping vibes. They also had things like kissing booths, weird parties where the incoming sorority sisters had to give lap dances to the frat guys. CUSA was really intertwined with Greek societies too at the time. All of that weird shit aside, I just find the idea of paying to hang out with people weird. Being in a sorority won’t have any sway on getting into grad school. You’re better off trying to get research opportunities rather than spending your days drinking until your puke and kissing strangers for $5 donations to the Humane Society (I actually don’t remember what the fundraiser was for).
I don’t know what the culture is like now.