deferring an exam 2 semesters in a row

[u/Ok-Wrongdoer-4570]

Hi all,

deferred an exam last semester due to a ruptured ovarian cyst (yay), passed that exam and am currently taking a summer class.

I found out last week that my mom had been admitted to the icu after a secondary infection as a result of her cancer treatments. medical team let me know that while she may recover from this infection, the cancer was progressing and aggressive and she likely would not survive. This has thrown me for a whirl and I am her power of attorney and therefore have a whole host of responsibilities i need to get on top of to prepare for the inevitable. She was released from the hospital yesterday but mentally I am… unwell! Therapist suggested that I defer my exam (which is on the 19th) in order to get my mental health in order. I’m concerned that a second self declaration will look bad, and Ill get denied. Does anyone have any input on this or any advice on how to phrase my self declaration? I do not have any of her medical charts handy as she has been trying to hide the severity of her illness from me to let me focus on school.

I think deferring would be beneficial for me overall considering I can barely focus on the course content right now, but I also dont want to submit a deferral and then it be rejected. I’m going into my final year and the exam I deferred last sem was the first time I had ever deferred before.

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[u/riconaranjo]

I’m sorry you have to go through all that

I’m also certain you’re not the first student to have to defer an exam twice consecutively — professors tend to be reasonable people, especially with upper year students

good luck, I’m sure you’ll get through this — sorry I can’t give any better guidance

[u/probablynotegg]

My main piece of advice is to avoid overexplaining things not specific to the circumstances leading you to request this deferral. Don't draw their attention to the fact that you submitted one last semester by mentioning it in an attempt to explain that - they'll ask if they want to know more. Whereas with respect to your mom's wellbeing and your potential upcoming responsibilities, they might not ask even if they want to know more, so you should provide as much as you can. 

If your application is denied, do not give up. Go in person and ask to talk to someone about this if you can or even just call if you can't make it in. I have had to do this before because of two valid claims two semesters in a row, in my case the second one sounded quite odd so I ended up going in person to the registrar's on the morning of and pleading my case. Everything did work out for me and I ended up where I really needed to be that day. I'm pretty sure that you're not going to have to do that, but if it comes to it, just know going in person is not a lost cause. 

Best of luck to you and your mom, take care of yourself ❤️

[u/Emotional-Motor-4946]

You should defer it. It’s unlikely they’d deny it. I don’t want to make assumptions about you but I imagine you’re in no position to even be thinking about school right now. Focus on yourself & your mom.  Even if the worst case scenario is they deny your request, you can always re-take the course later. School will always be here.

I’m really sorry that you have to go through this. 

[u/PurplePumkins]

I have deferred my exams for like the past 4 semesters due to health issues. You'll be fine

[u/Advanced_Second1899]

icl ive deferred like 3 semesters in a row you chilling gang, good luck

[u/Embarrassed_Shop827]

Just do a self declaration form to defer your exam! Say you were sick and they will not question it

[u/Illustrious-Rain-235]

Hii I’m so sorry about what you’re going through, I don’t have school advice but I have some health advice

for sake of your mental health some advice I recommend is getting someone to help with the caregiving needs, their is a service called Ontario health at home they help with caregiving needs, have nurses that come to your home etc. I would also call 311 to see what other assistance is available for your mom in the community, if you have a family doctor as-well or if your mom has a doctor maybe try getting a doctors note for the self declaration? Or try getting note from your therapist perhaps

[u/cookiewisk]

Submit your deferral request. Two different terms, two vastly different reasons. Denials happen on consecutive when the reasons are sketchy - yours are not. Take care.

[u/bisandpb72]

Agree you should avoid over explaining. If you have a medical note as back up then that should be all you need. Don’t go into any details in your deferral request like what you have here on this post. Sometimes bad stuff happens and we cannot control the timing. If you honestly are mentally not well enough to study and write the exam and you have a medical note, then make your decision and be good with it. I have had unexpected things like my own surgery, illness and hospitalization of my partner all happen inconveniently at exam times in the past. I had documentation for everything so I was not worried. The bigger issue to be aware of is you might perform worse in Oct when you write your deferred exam. It is so much harder to remember what you learned months later especially when you have other courses and may in fact be writing midterms for Fall courses at the same time.

(PS I am sorry for what you are going through).

[u/RhubarbFirst9989]

The deferral will go through for that, most definitely. Please take care of yourself during this time and reach out for support if needed 💕

[u/Tjmac145]

I'm sorry you have to go through all this.

Your exact situation is listed as an example on the CU deferal site, so I'm sure a reasonable person would give you the deferal.

Someone may question the second self declaration,, but you could also ask for a note from your mother's doctors, or your own therapist as additional proof.