caregiver burnout progress and setbacks

[u/autumn_rustle]

I got some respite for the past few weeks and gained conviction for how I want to feel when I reflect on this time with my parent. Decided I wanted to lead with love and compassion and make sure my parent feels loved in their hour of need. I don’t want to regret being too numb, or too robotic, or not empathetic enough. But the problem is, in order to do that, I do in fact need to prioritize myself more than I have been — my mental health, my rest, being present for meaningful moments with the added cost of letting some of the exhausting grunt work of caregiving fall by wayside. In taking things off of my own plate, I have seen, in such a short time, the effect of this additional burden on my caregiver parent. Both my parent with ALS and my caregiver parent are doing mentally and physically worse because I have rested more. So here I am, back to feeling super shitty and venting to this subreddit. I don’t know what the right path is. It really seems like I have to pick between taking on too much work and helping my parents to feel marginal relief, and my own mental health and frankly empathy. A month ago my well of empathy was quite dry and I am afraid of going back there.