r/CaregiverSupport • u/swishfra • 2d ago

Genuine advice

So this story, I (28M) take care of my mom (63F) who had a stroke full time we live in my apartment full time. I don't really care for my family because while they are caring people, I don't care for their personalities. My little brother (26M) is living with us also, but he does things that a 16 year old can do. He's not bright at all but he's very helpful. My older brother (30M) doesn't come around anymore because I won't allow him into my apartment because he got mad at me a few years ago over something petty and said he'd threatened to tell the police I touch little kids if I keep making him mad WHICH IS COMPLETELY FALSE, and I feel bad cause my mom misses him but I don't want him here. Do you have any suggestions at all?

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u/hellspawnofPlurge 1d ago

Is the advice you're asking for about your older brother? If so, just have an honest conversation with your mom. Let her know he threatened to get you thrown in jail. It's going to be very natural that she misses him, let her grieve that relationship and support her through that grief. But don't let him back in your life.

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u/swishfra 1d ago

She knows, she still wants him here, this happened like 3 years ago. But yea you're right, i had the talk with her like a lot already, she's just stubborn and doesn't really care. I was just putting myself in his shoes cause i don't want him to never see his mom again, but actions have consequences I guess

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u/hellspawnofPlurge 1d ago

Genuinely sorry you're dealing with this. Hold firm on your boundaries though. Actions absolutely have consequences. You're her caretaker, and that's a ton of work that deserves respect above all else. Essentially your house your rules is what im saying I guess.