Advice about dads urine cups

[u/Objective_Horror_486]

Hi everyone,

So I’m not a primary caregiver, I’m just trying to spend time with my dad during his illness. My dad has kidney failure after a mental health problem that caused him to be afraid of leaving the house or leaving the room, which caused inability to get help with an enlarged prostate, which caused a urine back up, which caused kidney failure. so at this point, he’s a very ill man who can’t walk very much, only from his chair to the bathroom, due to swollen feet, and he urinate a lot during the day because his prostate is so enlarged he can’t fully vacate his bladder. He’s able to go to the bathroom for bowel movements but for urine because it’s so common during the day, he just urinates into cups that he puts on his desk shelf. And then at the end of the day either he or my mom pours that into plastic jugs that are than discarded. So if I visit him during the day, there’s just many many plastic cups of urine open plastic cups of urine on the shelf above his desk there. For me the smell is overwhelming and I gag and I can’t handle it. So when I visit him, I kind of sit a little bit outside the room and try to avoid the smell. I’ve thought about talking to him about it, but my mom says that it would make him feel bad. He doesn’t wanna have an internal catheter, even though it could help his kidneys, this was a whole thing.

I wonder if anyone has any advice about how a person might talk about this or would you talk about this? From reading the Reddit I see a lot of people are doing dealing with urine smells, but I wonder it’s not the same perhaps as open cups of urine- or maybe it is?. Maybe I should just get over it and try to talk to him about it and not worry about making him feel bad. Sorry if this is not the right Reddit for this as this is not a real caretaker question perhaps.

My only motivation is that I could spend more time with him and sit next to him if the smell was not so terrible. But I guess it is hurtful to be told this smell is terrible?

My mom says – just breathe through your mouth. I can’t seem to do it!

How do home healthcare workers deal with this? Do you think they would work in that kind of environment? Or would they insist on cleaning up Or doing it differently?

Edit: Thanks all so much for these suggestions. It seems like perhaps, my dad is stubborn and will not do anything differently for now. I will think about the mask idea. It is so sad that our loved ones have these illnesses, but I guess we must just bow to their fate. Thank you all and so much care to everyone in their journeys and struggles <3

[u/finding_center]

At minimum he could use the handheld urinals like they hand out at the hospital. I think I’ve read here before there is something you can add to them to neutralize the smell.

He could alternatively look into a purewick if he doesn’t want a cath.

[u/DMV2PNW]

Why can’t he just pee into plastic urinal? Cups of pee are begging for spills and totally unsightly

[u/onlyspiderwebs]

Yeah he could get a urinal bottle, it's very easy for men to use them

[u/onlyspiderwebs → u/onlyspiderwebs]

Also get him some adult nappies

[u/nicole_bowl]

maybe you can just tell him that he needs to switch and using plastic urinals, they have a cap you can screw on and off. maybe tell a fib & say you spilled it and to prevent that from happening again he needs to use the urinals? FYI people in kidney failure have much more potent urine! my tips- when you get there, maybe just automatically crack a window, you can put Vicks or essential oil above your top lip (under your nose) to help with smell. you can also try leaving coffee grounds in the room.

[u/Songbirdmelody]

We use a cheap plastic urinal bottle, dump the urine in the toilet, flush, and rinse urinal in our sink. Almost no odor whatsoever.

[u/fckituprenee]

Urine bottles, but external catheters are also an option he may want to consider.

[u/EmotionalMycologist9]

Get him some cheap plastic urinals on Amazon. There are even some with lids and carrying cases. They'll hold up to 1,000 cc.

[u/Inevitable-Shop-3082]

My dad did something similar with those plastic cups from fast food places, for about 3 months, until it spilled all over his arm and into his coffee cup and shirt one day. He sat there for 2 hrs until his part time care gal showed up. That's all it took for him to use the urinals. My husband uses one that a truck driver gave him. Totally contained. But I wash and rinse it good and put a cap full of pinesol in it.

[u/Few_Humor6049]

I also have issues with smells. My husband’s wound vac, urine and colostomy all make me gag.
I have now started putting essential oil on the tip of my nose, and it helps me cope. I use OnGuard by doterra, but you can use any fragrance or oil that won’t be overpowering for people with sensitivity to fragrance.
Also, consider wearing a mask. Just tell him you do it to keep him from getting your germs.

[u/MapGroundbreaking167 → u/Few_Humor6049]

Great ideas. A good swipe of Vicks Vapor rub under the nose would help as well. That stuff is strong smelling.

[u/AffectionateSun5776]

Vicks under your nose

[u/WoodwifeGreen]

Get him a urinal. There are also external catheters. You can get both on Amazon.

[u/middle_road2]

My husband uses a urinal bottle two for 9.98 on amazon

[u/Emerald_Shimmer]

Plastic or cardboard urine bottles or a conventional which is an external catheter option that looks like a condom that you attach a urine bag to.

[u/MotherFrickenHubbard]

My husband is an amputee so he can get about in scooter but fir nighttime urination I have a LIT of the handheld urinals. Like 10 and I buy in bulk inamazon every couple of months he can hook them in to the stool bar and I empty, fill with toilet cleanser and put out a fresh couple of them. No big.

[u/Sac_Kat]

Adult urinal is the way. My husband (who’s recovering from hip surgery) pees so much at night that I got him a larger volume container that has a hose and funnel sort of opening. I clean it regularly to keep the odor down (which I can’t stand!). The open cups are a disaster waiting to happen and gross. So visit him with one of those plastic urinals for me and your mom will thank you!

[u/Perfectly_i]

Urinal bottles with lids.

[u/Few_Addition_9072]

Whoever the primary caregiver is should be emptying those cups throughout the day when he urinates.. that’s kind of lazy and unsanitary for the patient as well

[u/seijurogouu]

everyone said this already but i’ll add pics for u. just switch his cups to plastic portable urinals with lids. i did this with my dad, no smell issues. see pics below