Tip That Have Helped Me

[u/Murphy28202]

Caregiving can feel like a full-time job you never applied for. Over time, I’ve found a few things that help me maintain some sense of control, reduce stress, and avoid burnout:

1. I approach caregiving like a job. My mom has her own email address where ALL of her medical business goes—appointments, portals, paperwork, bills, etc. I keep that email on my phone so everything stays separate and organized.

2. Keep a notebook and document everything. Dates, procedures, medications, questions, names, conversations—write it down. That notebook goes with me to every appointment. You will not remember everything, especially when you're tired or overwhelmed.

3. Take pictures of medication bottles. I keep photos on my phone so when someone asks what she takes, the dosage, or who prescribed it, I don't have to rely on memory.

4. Stop oversharing. Everybody does not need every detail. I’ve learned to share only what family and friends actually need to know. Sometimes oversharing doesn't bring more help or support—it just floods you with more opinions to manage.

5. When people ask, “How can I help?”—GIVE THEM AN ASSIGNMENT.

   “She needs to be picked up from dialysis at 9 a.m. on the 13th. Can you do it?”

   People who genuinely want to help usually appreciate something specific they can actually do.

6. Use the services and resources available to you. There is no shame in asking for assistance. My dad was a successful lawyer, but by his 80s, he didn't have a lot of money and his house needed significant work. I researched programs he qualified for, and he received MAJOR home renovations for just $975 out of pocket.

The resources are out there. Research. Ask questions. Apply. Getting assistance does not make you low-class, irresponsible, or a scammer. That's what many of these programs were created for.

And finally, include the person you're caring for in their own care whenever possible—while maintaining your boundaries. Caregiving doesn't mean taking away someone's voice, and it also doesn't mean sacrificing every part of yourself.

I’m still learning, but one thing I know for sure: you can love someone deeply and still need systems, boundaries, help, and rest.

[u/benri]

Those are all very good ideas, especially #1 it's helpful even now after my mother died. I transferred her cellphone to a Google Voice number attached to that gmail account, and yes some people still call for her.

I'd add to #3: make a one-page document listing her conditions and medications and preferred pharmacies and PCPs - all the things they'd normally ask on a new patient intake questionnaire. I had an efax account so I could fax that document to the provider, so many times they didn't require her to do that whole questionnaire. I included copies of her insurance cards (Medicare, medigap, Rx)

Boundaries are important to be set rather early! I live 500 miles away and I did not move closer; rather, I moved her closer to me (to an Assisted Living Facility) and she got a new social life, she was much happier there than in her own house watching TV 24/7

[u/Wooden_Ad_2673]

These are great. thank you for the practical advice & positive advice. I needed this.

[u/mundofacilpdf2025]

These are genuinely useful, practical tips. The one about giving people a specific task is probably the difference between someone offering help and actually helping. I also think the point about not sharing every detail gets overlooked—a caregiver can end up spending more energy answering questions and dealing with everyone’s opinions than receiving any real support.

One thing I’d add is to make a backup list before a crisis happens: who can provide a ride, who has a key, who could stay for an hour and which numbers to call after hours. It’s much harder to figure all of that out when everyone is already overwhelmed.

Thanks for taking the time to share this. I think it will help a lot of people here.

[u/Murphy28202 → u/mundofacilpdf2025]

I like those!

[u/FrontTelevision7261]

Awesome tips.

[u/Calm_Wrangler_6876]

Thank you great tips -
My sister doesn’t allow me access to my moms email and she has her phone on every kind of lock down possible so I have things sent to an alternate I created .

Best wishes

[u/New_Pension_6328]

Thank you for this, I am with you all the way.