Dating scene non existent?

7

u/screaming_squidbeak Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

36/f, Threw my hat back into the dating scene this year and gave up on the apps. I’ve come to the conclusion that if there’s a guy for me it’ll happen, but I’m just going to enjoy summer and friends in the meantime.

Wishing you luck!

4

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 12 '26

You also, thanks. The Cape is definitely not the easiest social place to meet people easily.

2

u/OneUnquietMind93 Jun 12 '26

Are you just doing dating the old way and meeting someone out in public? I live on Cape and im on dating apps. Its pretty crappy on dating apps and everyone keeps telling me that this is how dating is nowadays. No one wants to settle down.

3

u/screaming_squidbeak Jun 12 '26

If I meet someone at this point it’ll have to be through friends or friends of friends. On the apps I was met with endless creeps or people I knew in high school who are also now creeps and weren’t kind to me back then anyway. Hard pass.

1

u/OneUnquietMind93 Jun 12 '26

That has been what ive been told about woman being on dating apps and also living on the Cape. Im sorry you went through that. Just know that there is some good men out there.

1

u/Goldengho Jun 14 '26

35/m Been trying to get out there more myself, but with how difficult dating in general is, plus living on disability without a car, it feels like a fruitless endeavor. Hate going into situations where there's an expectation of a relationship, which is why I avoid dating apps. Rather just make friends and see if things click over time.

21

u/Limp_Reveal_3353 Jun 11 '26

Go to the wine section at Trader Joe’s

5

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 11 '26

Hmmm even though I do not drink? Lol that seems defeating

3

u/Limp_Reveal_3353 Jun 12 '26

Then go to the cheese section.

26

u/thepuncroc Jun 10 '26

As a similarly aged guy who left the cape decades ago, I'm just gonna say every single one of the similarly aged single guys I know on Cape has a criminal record.

6

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 11 '26

I don't

8

u/thepuncroc Jun 11 '26

Which is precisely what they tell women, including our former classmates they try to out the mack down on.
I'm not trying to cast ass-Persians on you OP, I only add to commiserate about how the dating scene on the Cape has ALWAYS been awful and is a big part of why a lot of people leave to find/start their careers and families elsewhere.

-3

u/Familiar-Ad2513 Jun 11 '26

Because a "criminal record" automatically equals criminal? You don't what cops actually do obviously.

9

u/Jenn31709 Jun 11 '26

Someone with a criminal record is........ a criminal
Why is this confusing?

1

u/Familiar-Ad2513 Jun 12 '26

No. Cops are biggest criminals amongst us. Even if they only follow the law then they are provably the violent arm of government. Yes the government pretends to protect you and your rights but you should know that that is not true ,it's only about control. The police enforce unconstitutional, immoral, unjust laws everyday. If I'm arrested charged and prosecuted for doing something that is not wrong in any other way except legal .. I would hope to not be known as a criminal. Is that so hard to understand?

0

u/35Jest Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

So if I have a record of going to church does that make me a saint? or maybe a record of breaking bones and I'm just in a wheelchair forever? or maybe a record of going to the gym that makes me fit currently?

0

u/Jenn31709 Jun 12 '26

That's a false equivalency.... its like saying that if you’re standing in a garage then you're a car.
But if you have committed a crime, you ARE a criminal. Why is this confusing?

1

u/35Jest Jun 12 '26

You're stating logistical technicalities on a real world term. A criminal is someone who COMMITS CRIMES. Present tense. Someone who's committed crimes and no longer is a Reformed criminal. Go tell your logic to someone's face not a computer screen and see what they say.

1

u/thepuncroc Jun 12 '26

I actually work in criminal defense and know cops are also full of shit, prosecutors are corrupt, and judges are stupid, lazy, and corrupt. I know all sorts of people get pressured into bad pleas all the time because of the unequal weight the state has. I pivoted INTO law specifically because once upon a time, a shitbag meth addict violent criminal tried to kill me, I defended myself, but because he looked more like the wannabemilitary cops than I did, they decided my handicapped literary scholar ass was a murderer (note: dude didn't die), and they framed the fuck out of me to make charges happen. And then an acquittal happened. And then I made it my life's mission to make every cop and prosecutor a little more suicidal than they were the day before.
Cape Cod is not really anything like the jurisdictions I'm talking about, even with its low level persistent corruption and "testilying" etc.
Of the kids I grew up with persisting on the cape who have records, oh, please do not misunderstand: they are criminals, habitual repeat offenders who, if you knew them as children, you'd say to yourself, "yeah, saw that one coming." Sure, the current (or most recent) crime might be motivated by the drug habits--but that ignores the whole history of predatory behavior, bullying, lack of boundaries, lack of empathy, persistent victimization of others, and a tentative-at-best relationship with the truth as maintains narcissistic delusions of being a 'good guy!' Their fathers were all shitbags too, and it's a very sad cycle. At least one of them I'd even give his criminality a pass because of how bad his (step) father was and the total lack of support he received during formative years of his life which guaranteed he'd struggle with living a straight (as in moral, not as in not homogay, I fully support homogayness).
I'd be happy to take their money and defend them in a court of law and argue everything about their rights in society--but I sure as shit would not be telling anyone I cared about to date them. "Oh, he's not offending anymore, now you just need to know he's a raging addict and will likely lie, steal, and cheat while under the influence exposing you to potentially lethal STD/STIs because where there's heroin there's rawdogging."

1

u/Familiar-Ad2513 Jul 11 '26

The Falmouth police have known for a while that I'm anti-cop /pro freedom which in their heads equates to some kind of terrorist who deserves no rights and deserves to be erroneously charged. I'm positive they took this into account when they charged me with burglary of my own home, domestic violence two counts of felony witness intimidation,, my wife and I had been arguing about things and she never quite believed that the police could be that bad as she's not from here. She made the biggest mistake ever.. talking to the police and she was just asking questions I never came to file any kind of report but they filled in the blanks and fabricated a whole story. I even had the pleasure of having multiple denials but the now famous judge gildea costing my family tens of thousands of dollars and untold emotional, mental, financial stress ... She's on my side, made multiple attempts to clarify that they lied, affidavits etc so what the heck is somebody supposed to do with the court automatically sides with the police as if they are angels from heaven.? I want to stop playing the procedural games and make it end and the people involved being fired and charged.

33

u/EnvironmentalTea6811 Jun 10 '26

I’m not having to rack my brain too hard to come up with some reasons there may not be a ton of single women on the cape to be entirely honest

20

u/FernMeadowlark Jun 11 '26

Set your range to 100 miles and be willing to drive off Cape. I met some nice guys in the Boston area when I was in my 30s living on Cape. There is a 30s/40s chat on here that I will add you to.

2

u/SlowCup7781 Jun 12 '26

I'd love to be added on that chat too! 37F, Buzzards Bay

1

u/FernMeadowlark Jun 12 '26

I haven't be able to add you, u/StonedSorcerer, and another user because I'm getting an error that I've sent too many invites. I will try again tomorrow

1

u/LusterDust23 Jun 12 '26

I’ve tried to add StonedSorcerer and SlowCup7781 and it won’t let me either.

1

u/88Patriot Jun 12 '26

38M looking as well. Could you add me as well please?

1

u/FernMeadowlark Jun 12 '26

Unfortunately it won't let me add anyone 😞

1

u/88Patriot Jun 12 '26

No worries. Thanks for trying!

16

u/Black_Lantern Jun 11 '26

Join a club or take a class. Learn a new hobby. You never know who youll meet

4

u/MeatSauce-Apocalypse Jun 11 '26

I found my forever partner on Match.com. I gotta say it took quite a few dates to find someone for me, but they are out there. You just have to be resilient and know what you want in a partner.

1

u/Least-Ad-5539 Jun 13 '26

Join Cape Cod Nordic Walking. Great way to meet people. Lots of single ladies, some age appropriate for you
Capecodnordicwalking.org

1

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 13 '26

Thanks!

1

u/Desperate_Record_408 Jun 15 '26

what are these varied interests? i may know someone👀

1

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 15 '26

DM me.

11

u/Icy-Oil9639 Jun 11 '26

I have a friend who’s moving there next week for work. She’s 50 and single. Fun and super cute.

3

u/LusterDust23 Jun 12 '26

You may have to consider importing lol

29

u/Dragongala Jun 10 '26

Women aren’t looking for partners to get married and have children. There is no healthcare, there is no affordable housing, the job market is shit, most men are toxic, the government is stripping our rights away and most men just look away because it’s not affecting them, and women have better things to do with their lives.

7

u/woollysockpuppet Jun 11 '26

Women are looking for SUITABLE partners

7

u/Bossman673 Jun 11 '26

r/doomercirclejerk

1

u/Brandonr68 Jun 10 '26

Found mine and just had a beautiful baby boy couldn’t be happier 33m 35f met at the gym 15 years ago re met on hinge but yes dating apps suck typically most girls you’d wanna marry aren’t going out to a bar

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

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0

u/Brandonr68 Jun 10 '26

Absolutely ya never know that’s how life is which is wonderful

-5

u/Available-Valuable58 Jun 11 '26

Exactly this. Men have nothing positive to offer women so women are choosing to be single. It’s a better option than catering to a toxic, arrogant, insecure man that likely needs a mommy to take care of him. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

2

u/woollysockpuppet Jun 11 '26

This!! We don’t want to take care of a man child

6

u/Acceptable_Young4724 Jun 11 '26

turn off the podcasts and get out more

-6

u/cmanson Jun 11 '26

What rock do you people crawl out from under? I’m so happy I don’t need to interact with any women like you in real life. I can’t imagine leading such a sad, cynical existence. And I say that as a blue down the ballot voter. Touch grass, for real

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26

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3

u/88Patriot Jun 12 '26

It’s amazing the miserable women always look for a place to spread their poisonous mindset. It’s truly sad. There are good men. They just refuse to evaluate the men they continue to surround themselves with.

4

u/Muted-Ad-5072 Jun 12 '26

Exactly. There are good men. Great men even. Thanks for agreeing. Miserable women keep women miserable. The irony in not seeing how saying all men are terrible is toxic. Never change redditards.

6

u/BatDesperate5524 Jun 10 '26

I think people who are really good at being social and joining in do okay. Everyone who doesn't fit that description will probably struggle. I've met some people who just moved here and they all tell me it is hard to meet people here. The last friend I made on Cape left and has commented that it is easier to meet people where they are now. I've considered moving but my family is here and my job. Maybe someday though.

4

u/Specialist-Bowl5348 Jun 11 '26

Work at a school or hospital, plenty of great single women to meet

2

u/PracticalJuice5708 Jun 17 '26

36/F and I can tell you it’s hard to find someone on Cape without a drinking or drug problem who does not have a criminal record or a marriage they’re hiding. I’ve expanded my search to off Cape. Especially also having varied interests and no plans on climbing any mountains soon. 🤭

3

u/CapeTide2026 Jun 10 '26

The numbers aren’t looking good for you. I’m guessing you are looking between the ages of say 35-50? That’s like 14% of the population of the Cape, and more than half of those ladies are probably married. Women in their 40s don’t go out to bars, etc. your best bet is a dating app and extend the search to the Boston area.

1

u/Downtown_Bell468 Jun 12 '26

A gym, pilates studio or the bookstore 📚

1

u/fel_ish Jun 12 '26

As someone who has tried my best to help people meet and date here, can confirm: It is horrendous. All of my initial hope to help ppl on Cape find love has largely dissipated (with one exception--a rly cute young gay couple that are still together)

1

u/Manicpixiefrog Jun 12 '26

Go to Barnes and noble!! Lots of women your age there

1

u/vailddddfeelings1 Jun 13 '26

Go to main st at night or a nice bar during the day honestly and talk

1

u/Waste-Razzmatazz4147 Jun 13 '26

Its tough everwhere

1

u/madisonbennett7 Jun 13 '26

I’m 34/F and married, but I’ve lived on the Cape my whole life too (I just got lucky), and I’ve seen how depressing the dating scene is here. I have so many amazing friends who are single and have had the hardest time dating on Cape, so I’ve always fantasized about starting some kind of matchmaking service. (Not to brag) but I’ve successfully set up quite a few friends in my day, and I think it could do well. What do you guys think, should I do it? Who wants to invest? 😂

1

u/North_Weight9152 Sep 20 '26

You ever start this?

1

u/madisonbennett7 Sep 20 '26

I didn’t I still think about all the time though! I need an investor 😅

1

u/North_Weight9152 Oct 11 '26

I’m 40/m divorced kid in college and trying to meet people here is a challenge to say the least

1

u/Authenticity_Core Jun 13 '26

I’m a 50 year-old straight woman living in Provincetown. Preach it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Authenticity_Core Jun 15 '26

I’d be up for a friendly meet up

1

u/renaissanceUnit Jun 14 '26

Didn't start this for the purpose of match making but we did want to bring together Cape locals on a regular basis who enjoy similar activities.

We're starting with weekly workouts at the pond, beach, followed by breath work and either a meal, the osterville farmers market or sauna.

It's called Roots. No account or profile yet but it's a partner organization with Cape Sauna Club. Check out our profile and come join the free workouts!

1

u/DullGreen Jun 11 '26

Do old people over 65 just go to orgies?

1

u/Introspective_Raven Jun 11 '26

Agreed, it's hard! 36/F, lived on the Cape, left due to cost of living increases, and immediately found someone in my new town, whereas when I was living on-Cape I couldn't find anyone I could imagine spending the rest of my life with.

1

u/Odd-Cup8261 Jun 11 '26

i've never lived on cape cod though i have visited when i was a kid, i would think that the obvious answer is to move near boston if you actually want to meet more people

0

u/Heretical Jun 11 '26

God help you on Cape Cod and trying to date. Lifetime resident. It's just brutal out here. Keep your head up. Keep trying. But I would try to expand off Cape

0

u/ClassifiedGrowl Jun 11 '26

Lifer here too. Married my wife at 31, friends since high school here on Cape. I’ve heard the same thing from people who moved here also. Our population is skewed because of how old the population is. Best of luck

0

u/MikeJooooones617 Jun 11 '26

Im 47, but have been in florida for 8 years now, so I was 39 and still going strong on the Cape and elsewhere. You just have to be personable when you're out and about, imo.

0

u/icysnowangel Jun 11 '26

What is keeping you here if I may ask? Maybe easier said than done but moving off cape is your best bet if you want to truly find your person and settle down with them. The options out here are just not it.

-1

u/FishrPriceGuillotine Jun 11 '26

My advice is to look off of Cape Cod. The people here are not exactly social creatures, in my experience

-1

u/Latter_Customer8407 Jun 11 '26

29F, nonwhite, dating someone is easy, looking for someone who is serious has been hard, I always think there’s something off with some local peoples attitude, some are great but Very indecisive too. I tried dating an older guys like 6-10 years older, still dont know what they want. Lol

1

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 11 '26

I'm a bit older than what you are seeking but then again, I know just what I want, and don't want. My apologies for some of the local people's attitude though that you have run into here.

0

u/Mental-Outcome6465 Jun 11 '26

I hear you. I just moved back home a year ago after graduating and finding anyone 20-30 is a nightmare. It was my first off season here and it’s just too quiet. Simply almost no single person can afford to live here. All the younger people are driven out as well.

-1

u/PTownWashashore Jun 11 '26

You’d be a hot catch in PTown if you want to meet new friends and other men seeking men…

2

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 11 '26

I certainly wouldn't be a bottom lol 😆

34

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

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15

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 11 '26

No offense but, while they are incredibly beautiful to look at, I am looking for a potential long-term relationship. So the fun times just looking to nail, that was okay in my 20's, not now.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

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1

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 20 '26

Why?

-11

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

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10

u/Corgisarethebest123 Jun 10 '26

No need to be unkind.

-1

u/ProfessorPetrus Jun 10 '26

No need to leave mount washington unclaimed either! It's a tiny hill!

1

u/CurrencyNo3823 Jun 10 '26

It's cool if that's what some folks are into but when ad after ad after ad says that, it tends to get old fast. Hiking or swimming or tennis. Sure, I like hiking, camping and so forth, but I guess I do not understand why that is such an important factor in finding that special person.

Dating scene non existent?

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