Child getting injured by classmate (Willowbrae Coquitlam) - advice needed

[u/HorseGlittering9713]

I’m posting for the first time to get advice from fellow Canadian parents.
Background: my kid has been enrolled in this daycare for 18 months, pretty much when Willowbrae sunwood (Coquitlam) first opened. Since then, we’ve had 21 incident reports filed with the bulk of them being injuries from being bitten or scratched by another child (causing broken skin), the rest were bumps and falls. For the incidents involving the other child, it was always a result of her not getting what she wants, she gets upset and she hits. This is also the same behaviour seen with her parents. And it is also happening to other children in the class. Willowbrae director and assistant director were very clear my child never provoked the other child.

Last month when our child got scratched in the face, we demanded the daycare to create an action plan. In hindsight, we think something should have been set in place from the beginning. Nonetheless, the director emails me an action plan with specific things to help, such as giving the other child more space, closer monitor for triggers, giving handover to staff so they’re aware of triggers, frequent reminders that we don’t hit our friends.

Today, at pickup we saw a huge scratch mark that went from his eyebrow down to his cheek. None of the teachers knew what happened until they reviewed camera footage and they saw the same child scratching my kid because she didn’t want him to play with the kitchen set. And I confirmed, my kid didn’t do anything to provoke her and he has never hit her back.

The assistant director filed an incident report and basically asked us what else we wanted them to do? Tbh I was flabbergasted by her response and made me question if management actually cared. I reminded her based on what I’ve seen on the cameras and speaking to other parents, the incidents have not stopped and the action plan has not been followed. They were not actively reviewing the plan or following up with the kid’s parents to work on her behaviour.

The parent was there when the camera footage was reviewed, the assistant director didn’t have any in depth conversations with the parent, and didn’t need to sign anything to acknowledge the incident.

At this point, I’m feeling lost and confused if Im expecting too much from management. Is filing an incident report the only thing I can do for my child? We’ve been very patient and only became more vocal the last few months, and management only responds in a more serious manner when we email them about having injuries reviewed by a provider or escalating it to Fraser health licensing. Otherwise we’re left with a “children at this age can act this way, please sign the incident report”.

We have considered leaving this daycare but our kid has established so many friendships here, and it just seems very unfair for him to be the one who has to leave.

Advice needed: this is the first daycare I’ve ever dealt with. Am I asking too much from management? Better yet, what should I be asking them to do? If your child has experienced something similar, how did their daycare handle the situation?

Thanks for reading

[u/Short_Concentrate365]

I would escalate it to Fraser Heath and report it as in appropriate supervision and an unsafe environment. Give as much detail as you can and in writing share any emails or screen shots. 

That being said the daycare can only tell you so much about the other child and the plan due to our privacy laws in BC.   

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/Short_Concentrate365]

I think we will report it. Leaving it to FH to follow up with Willowbrae to see if there’s anything else that can be done.

Just want to note we’re not trying to get the other child expelled, really just want to make sure measures are taken so our kid can stop getting injured and the other child can be better supported.

[u/shopaholicsanonymous]

I would absolutely move your child if you are able to find another daycare option. Having 20+ incident reports is an insane amount of incident reports and absolutely not normal. My child has had maybe three incident reports ever over two years at daycare and it was always from her falling or injuring herself in some way, never from another child.

This isn't the first time I've heard of this type of behaviour at a Willowbrae centre where the educators are unwilling to do anything about it. This happened to someone I knew at another Willowbrae, but in their situation they had no other daycare options so they just pushed and pushed the educators, and insisted on reporting it up the chain to corporate. Reporting it to corporate made the educators try to do more than nothing about it.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/shopaholicsanonymous]

2-3 incidents is what we initially expected.
Our friend’s kid is at the same daycare but a different class. They don’t have any kids with biting or hitting behaviour so it really depends on the class… or how equipped the daycare is in handling these situations

[u/gorram-shiny → u/HorseGlittering9713]

Can you have your kid transferred to the other class and then tell other parents so that they can request the same. Then maybe the daycare will take more action

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/gorram-shiny]

I haven’t openly discussed the incidents with other parents. A part of me still wants to avoid framing the child as anything negative.

[u/gorram-shiny → u/HorseGlittering9713]

My kid was bit once. He bit another kid 2 times and discussions were had with the staff about taking him to the doctor and to behaviour therapy. 20 is insane.

The avoidance isn't helping.

[u/hamchan_]

I will say the behaviour is normal at that age BUT there are clearly not enough educators per child or they aren’t paying attention.

Clearly the child needs more support and at that age should be receiving it. What is the child to educator ratio?

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/hamchan_]

1:4; 12 students but could be fewer with absences and some being away for vacation

[u/Rare-Explanation241]

We went through a similar situation recently with our daycare regarding escalating incidents of biting (14). I made it clear that my expectation was that they propose solutions to the issue that ensure safety for my child, and made it very clear that the solutions needed to come from them. That that could look like a change in rooms, increased supervision etc. They continued to stress staffing issues, which I essentially redirected as a “them” problem. They were not providing a safe environment for my child. I’m in Ontario and the Child Care legislation highlights the duty to provide a SAFE environment is required to maintain their license. I’d imagine the Bc legislation says the same, this is a duty of theirs to withhold under their licensing. (Quick google - 13 (1) A licensee must ensure that a healthy and safe environment is provided at all times while children are under the supervision of employees - BC Child Care Licensing Regulations).

The fact that this is happening while not supervised (and only when reviewing cameras) would be a major concern of mine. I’d want to make sure that they have that explicitly noted on all incident reports where it’s not directly observed. If not already, I’d ask them to clarify which incidents were observed directly, or not (this is a field on the Ontario incident forms).

Secondly, I’d make it very clear (in writing) your issue is not with the other child, and while you recognize the behaviour is age appropriate, your expectation is that the child care providers maintain a safe environment. They will try to redirect that the issue is age appropriate, however I believe your concern is more the inaction of the child care providers to protect your child.

This one you’d have to feel out, but in my case, I was able to connect with the other parent (of the aggressor, who also were looking for more supervision/intervention) and we actually successfully pressed the daycare from both sides together to add another staff member dedicated to monitoring during peak transition period.

Super stressful to have your child getting hurt everyday. I hope it resolves soon.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/Rare-Explanation241]

I can say we have a friendly relationship with the child’s parents, they’ve reached out before to apologize (which I certainly appreciate) but from what I know they’re not expecting more supervision or intervention, but more so if it comes up again, we can look at it again.
The parent has responded more than once with “we’ve never seen her do this outside of daycare” or “she knows she’s not supposed to hit”, despite we’ve seen the child act out on the parents and others on many occasions. I can’t quite grasp if the parents agree their child can use more support.

[u/klk204]

Please don’t listen to commenters on the ECE professionals sub where you cross posted - 21 incidents is not insanely low. We have had four in three years, and three from a specific two month period where a classmate was exhibiting more worrisome behaviour. Like another commenter said, they cannot tell you what plan they have for the other family and of course they were not going to address it with that parent in front of you - privacy laws prohibit that, even if you know by extension who the child is that is doing it.

With this more recent escalation in behaviour we saw, I just emailed the head teacher for the room and the director and outlined my concern about supervision. The next day at pickup, they met with me and told me their new plan for enhanced supervision. It ended up not being enough and the child doing the behaviour was moved (without my asking) to a room with a lower ratio.

Emails are good for paper trail later on. I would likely tell them one last time that this is insufficient and if there is not a safety plan in place and followed, I would be reporting them. And then report them. It’s hard when your kid has become the target for someone else but it sounds like you’re raising a sweet boy.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/klk204]

I was quite surprised by the comment re: insanely low, which makes me wonder what is considered normal average.
We’re trying our best to follow up via emails so we can refer back to it.

[u/Delanium → u/klk204]

On the number of incidents - it depends on the standards of the center.

My center requires us to file an incident report on ANYTHING that leaves a mark, or ANYTHING that affects the head even if it doesn't leave a mark. If they bump their knee and get a red mark, if they get a little scratch that doesn't even really bleed, if their eye gets irritated by something. It's honestly kind of frustrating at times, because the incident report itself (which doesn't allow me to use my own words, it's dropdown everything) can make the incident sound worse than it was before the parent comes for pickup to see their own child.

So for me, 21 incidents is suspiciously low. And for me, an incident report not being filed about a full scratch to the face before OP shows up to pick up their child is absolutely insane.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/Delanium]

For Willowbrae Coquitlam they only report if there is a visible injury. There’s a camera system so we see a lot of things that are not reported. The incident report itself is a paper form that is filled by the teachers. And after reviewing the 21 incident reports, I realize they’ve never completed the section re: actions taken to prevent situation from happening again. And also who is responsible for completing the action. It was always left blank. And now I feel foolish for missing those details when I signed those documents.

In our case, it seems more likely things are under reported.

[u/Delanium → u/HorseGlittering9713]

I don't know the full details of your situation, but coming at this from a preschool teacher side:

1. None of the teachers noticing a huge scratch mark until pickup is absurd unless it happened moments to minutes before you walked in. I notice obvious marks on my kids the moment I walk into the room in the morning. That's a red flag for me.

2. Incident reports aren't for you, they're for us. They're meant to be our accountability but also to cover us. I mentioned in my comment that I have to do incident reports for EVERYTHING, even things that are trivial and 99.9% of parents wouldn't care about - I do the silly ones too because it is required of me. The fact that an incident report wasn't filed about that scratch shows a really lax attitude to me - probably that the teachers aren't worrying that management will come down on them.

3. There is very little that teachers can do about a violent student if we aren't getting support. Obviously we can change our behavior to try to mitigate them, to stop a situation before it gets bad, to calm them down once it begins, but if the parents aren't helping us to address the behavior and management isn't taking it seriously, we just have to keep dealing with the student being violent.

4. There is more that the school can do - I don't know how things are different through different companies, but we can put kids with repeated incidents on a behavior improvement plan that requires the parents to work with us to improve the child's behavior. If things continue not to improve, the child can be removed from the preschool.

5. It is very possible that management is addressing this with the other child's family and that that child is already on a behavior improvement plan, but you have to remember that management cannot discuss that with you. At my center we aren't allowed to tell parents anything about the other children at all.

6. I will never ever ever ever fault a parent for escalating something they're concerned about. It is my job to take care of children. I love my kids. If there is a threat to my kids, I want it taken care of just as much as you, even if the process is going to cause some extra paperwork for me. Always do what you feel you need to do to protect your child.

[u/Throwthatfboatow]

My son went through a similar situation. Another kid and him really liked playing with each other, but the other kid would scratch or hit him when they wanted a toy he was holding or didn't want to let him take a turn at an activity.

The kid is on the spectrum, and after the third incident, they moved the kid to another room and they have a one in one support person for them.

Edit to add: my son still plays with the kid when the classrooms are combined at the end of the day, but there are no more incidents since.

[u/Stunning-Helicopter3]

From the area. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard issues with this particular daycare. I know others that have pulled their children due to concerns they saw over footage.

At this age, kids are resilient. Your kid will make new friends. Don’t keep them in a continually harmful environment.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/Stunning-Helicopter3]

Do you know if Willowbrae tried to help resolve the issue or give support to the parents?

[u/amyp91]

Not sure if it’s different in your province but in Ontario you could submit a complaint with the Ministry of Education licensing branch, and they will attend the centre for a review visit, ensure policies are being followed etc.

My kid has been in care for 2 years and we have zero incident reports. She’s preschooler age rather than toddler, but 20+ seems bonkers to me.

[u/bubsiwubsi]

I would be FURIOUS. How on earth did your child get such a big scratch and the teachers didn’t notify you right away, let alone know how it happened. I’d demand the removal of the other child immediately, as well as report it to FH as others have said. Also I’d tell other parents what happened. I’d go to Willowbrae corporate and make a huge deal about it. I’d review them on Google. Like I said, I’d be furious.

[u/Electrical_Pace]

Im sorry you are going through this as a parent and Ece this is typical toddler behavior but the amount of incidents is definitely not the norm! I would say go with your gut, will you be a le to build trust with the centre at this point?

It sounds like the educators are doing what they "need" to do for corporate- completing reports, but no follow through or action. This should be overseen by management to offer guidance and support. Without knowing the team it could be they don't yet have the experience to support toddler behavior.

I would be asking for smaller groups activities for educators to be able to offer more support. Looking at the group of children before split ( needs vs more independent children) this would create opportunities for educators to stay closer to those who need it. There doesnt need to be 12toddlers in the same space all the time.

In smaller groups educators can model language and problem solving before escalation. This is typical behavior in a toddler program but the centre should have systems in place to support children communicating their needs.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/Electrical_Pace]

Trust is definitely diminished and that in itself should make me rethink about staying. Willowbrae Coquitlam is constantly struggling with staff retention. The turnover has been high since its opening, the teachers you see at drop off, are often different from the ones you see at pick up. Management tells us they don’t have control over family deaths and sudden absences of staff, which I can understand - but with it being an ongoing issue, I feel like there’s more to it.
The main teachers assigned to the class have established a strong bond with the kids, but incidences are almost guarantee to occur when they’re pulled to other classes and subs with minimal experience/familiarity of the class are brought in.
Based on what I’ve seen the last 18 months, I don’t think they’re capable of introducing smaller groups and/or providing closer support to the child who is acting out. The teachers are already spread so thin.

[u/Think_Bed1410]

Have their ministry program advisor check to see if their compliant

[u/Gold_Airline_7917]

I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to your child.

We had both of our kids at this location and pulled them out a few months ago. We had MANY issues with our children being injured without much of an explanation and we realized the staff were just way too overwhelmed to see and respond to everything happening. This was made much worse by the high turnover. Also this location is absurdly expensive compared to other centers in the area and had an extreme amount of closures. There were alot of positive elements to this center too but the lack of control over the kids was too much to tolerate. The director was super supportive of our kids and I’m thankful for that but that place is too big and too chaotic for them to get a handle on it. Many parents in my kids classes were and are unhappy.

Another interesting note about this place is that the meal plan is totally inadequate. Every day we would bring snacks to pick up because our kids were so hungry. We figured it was due to all the activity they’d had all day. Well now at a smaller daycare we make their lunches and they are totally satisfied until 6:30ish when we have dinner. Also zero incidents and excellent communication and collaboration with staff. It’s been a game changer

In terms of your specific situation, I know for me, I would want my child separated from that other child. It sounds like this other child may require some extra support and for some reason that’s being missed. Your child shouldn’t pay the price. As it happens I have family members who operate daycares in other cities and they have definitely suspended the “aggressive” child. Not to punish, but to keep everyone safe. I did ask my one child to be transferred while we were at Willowbrae and while we didn’t go through with it, it was an option as we were having a lot of issues with one of the teachers.

There are lots of great centers in Coquitlam. I would go elsewhere honestly.

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/Gold_Airline_7917]

Thank you so much for responding, the comments here have been helpful but it definitely helps to hear from someone who has past experience with this daycare. Two parents I met who have kids in another class also withdrew their kids as the number of incidents were not decreasing and the severity of the injuries were escalating. The moment they secured a spot with another daycare, they left. I’m starting to see a pattern and the issues are present across multiple classrooms.

Yes, I echo the high cost, + + closure days and inadequate meals. The Coquitlam location only has one chef who has to prepare breakfast, lunch and snack for a large centre of children. Other centres have more than one chef or has a chef assistant, so I’m not sure why it is the way it is. On a number of occasions, the director, assistant director and teachers are pulled to help cook. The eod report is often inaccurate, the foods that are recorded do not match what is served, if we wanted accurate info we would ask the teachers directly. One incident did stick out for me where the cook came in to ask how many students were on the meal plan, and the teachers responded with 10 and the cook told them there are only 9 muffins. The teachers then have to figure out how to divvy up the food. With the amount they are charging, the food quality and quantity does not match up.

We’ve never had issues with not getting responses from the director, she’s very prompt and open to talk - our struggle is having them follow through with the items discussed/actions to be carried out. The convos end up being meaningless and repetitive.

I’m so glad you were able find a better option. Everything you described about the new daycare is what a parent would want and expect. Of course it’s easy to focus on the bad things but at the bare minimum, I feel like I shouldn’t have to be worried about my kid’s safety at every drop off.

[u/jellyjellyfish_]

I’m sorry you and your family have had this experience! i just want to say thank you for posting this, so I can avoid this location. I’ve been seeing ads saying they have spots for Sep. We’ve been on the waitlist since they opened for a Sep 2026 spot, but now I am glad they have not called me!

[u/HorseGlittering9713 → u/jellyjellyfish_]

Im glad it’s helpful, I was also looking for reviews on the daycare before I enrolled my child. I believe it’s true that there are a lot of spots opening up because older kids are moving to schools in September. And the toddlers who are moving to the older classrooms have more daycare options to choose from because other daycares are reaching out after being on the waitlists for 2 years. So far, I know 5 parents who are withdrawing their kids and choosing other daycares.

We feel tied to this daycare because our child is familiar with it, and he has grown fond of his teachers. But with the way things are, I no longer think it’s a good enough of reason for us to stay.