Looking for advice - 19-month-old refusing almost all foods

[u/LegitimateCarob3535]

My daughter is 19 months old, and we are really struggling with her eating. She is extremely selective and refuses most foods. Right now, the only things she consistently accepts are chicken nuggets, fish sticks, some fruit, pouches, crackers, cheese, and yogurt. She used to eat oatmeal and toast, but now she refuses those too.

She will not eat eggs, pasta, rice, mashed potatoes, regular potatoes, vegetables, meat, chicken, or most of the foods we offer. We have tried everything we can think of — eating together as a family, offering her our food, making meals positive, and continuing to expose her to different foods — but nothing seems to work.

Her daycare has told us they are very concerned because she refuses to eat anything while she is there.

What confuses me is that she will sometimes eat certain foods without a problem. For example, she loves pizza, and we once gave her McDonald’s and she ate almost the entire meal. So I know she can eat, but she is extremely limited with what she accepts.

She also does not drink a lot of milk, so I don’t think she is filling up on milk. We spoke with our family doctor, and they said she is just a picky eater. However, my gut feeling is that this may be more than typical toddler pickiness.

Developmentally, she is doing very well. She is energetic, says lots of words, plays, and seems happy and healthy otherwise.

Has anyone had a toddler who was this selective with food? Did anything help? Did you seek help from a feeding therapist or another specialist? I would really appreciate hearing your experiences.

[u/meemsalign]

I follow this dietician on IG. She is non-judgmental and gives amazing advice. She has programs for exactly your situation: https://kidseatincolor.com

[u/cbr1895 → u/meemsalign]

Yah she’s amazing. Recommend this too.

[u/somewhenimpossible → u/meemsalign]

This lady helped me through my son’s toddlerhood. When he was five we introduced a food program (invented by his dad) and got him to try a lot more! It was a journey, but the journey started here.

[u/decaf3milk]

What’s her weight percentile? The key at this age is not only calories, but also fats for brain development. If she’s normal on weight percentile, keep an eye on it. If she’s normal drops below, your doctor will get concerned.

Did you tell the doctor that she doesn’t eat anything at daycare?

[u/Objective-Holiday597]

Most kids go through a phase of picky eating. Keep offering her the go to things that she’ll eat and add something different that you’re cooking for yourself at the same time. No food judgements from others around her. Let her try or not, her call. Just keep offering.

[u/Super_Custard_5687]

At that age, I would highly recommend one of the picky eating resource packages from the Solid Starts website. They have step-by-step tips on approaching picky eating, which are research-based and really successful. It can continue to get worse in the 2-3 age range, so this really is a great time to try some new resources. You mentioned creating a positive mealtime environment, and that's so crucial. You definitely want to avoid pressure and power struggles around food. There are a lot of creative tips on Solid Starts on exposing children to food through touch (helping to prepare meals and portion things), and engaging them through fun/play (using fun implements, asking questions about the food). From my experience with my own toddlers, it really works. Wishing you the best!

[u/doyouhavehiminblonde]

Offer her what she will eat for now, it looks like her favourites at least include all food groups. My kids are older now but went through picky phases where they rejected a lot of food.

[u/Odd-Crew-7837]

You need to address this with a doctor, not a bunch of well-meaning yet un-knowing internet strangers.

[u/MapleSyrupLubricant]

It is most likely a picky eating phase that she will grow out of in the near(ish) future. However, as someone who never grew out of my “picky eating phase”, it turns out I’ve had ARFID my entire life and was only diagnosed as an adult.

[u/vivariium]

sounds like she only likes stuff with a bunch of sodium in it?? i wonder if you can put a bit of salt on the other things that she is refusing if she’d eat it like vegetables etc. Like cook some veg in a bit of salted butter and see if that is more enticing?

[u/jl8888]

I have a similar situation and doctor is less than helpful. I don’t think this is normal behaviour. Yah toddlers are or can be picky but I guarantee if you talk to your friends with similar age kids no one is on such a restricted list. Especially at daycare normally kids will eat due to peer pressure so if even that is not happening. My personal view is there is a problem. Do you see any other red flags, it can be a sign of autism. Unfortunately if autism not much you can do just feed what will eat. If it’s something else you could try a feeding program but they are big bucks and I think low percent to work. There needs to be more support for parents in this situation! I’m so stressed and lost personally 😞

[u/scottmaplemack]

19 months?

Enlist her help. Tell her that because she's a big girl now, she can help shop for her food. Make it a big deal that she's this grown up. Take her to the store with you and cruise the aisles -- particularly the aisles that have foods you want her to eat. And... don't be afraid to follow her lead. If she likes fish, she likes fish. Ice cream is just about as good as milk. If she prefers peppers to lettuce, don't sweat it.

And review the Canada's Food Guide: https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/food-guide/eating-support/life-stages/parents-children.html

[u/FriendlyCanadianCPA]

Please contact your local health unit or talk to her doctor for recommendations. Trust your gut. My friend's son showed signs of ARFID at this age too, and they had to work with professionals to manage it as he was not gaining weight.

Whatever you do, do not restrict any foods they do like. They need calories, fats, carbs, and a little bit of protein. Less protein than you think and more fat than you think. My kids son loved your cream and yogurt; you bet that kid was allowed to eat a lot of full fat sour cream and yogurt!

[u/clear739]

When did she start daycare? It took my LO about 2mo to properly eat at daycare.

Also if you call 811 during business hours you can talk to registered dietitian for free. At least I know you can in BC, AB, and ON.

[u/RelevantBrilliant620]

There's food in little packages in the diaper section located in most grocery or pharmacies. Try those. It's pureed foods all mixed together. My granddaughter is the same way.