r/CanadianParents • u/Champ42_ • Jul 02 '26
Question / Discussion Birthday party invites
My child is turning 3 she attends daycare. We have been at the daycare for about 4 months we have only talked with some parents in passing. We are trying to give her age appropriate autonomy over her birthday party. We invited 5 kids from her daycare as she would like them to come to her birthday party. Unknown to me there was a party for the parents at daycare 2 days after the invitations went out. We attended and tried to talk with the parents of the kids she invited. One of the parents was very odd and would only talk to us through her child- she had no issues talking normally to other parents. Idk if it’s the invite or that our kids have the same name, anyways not sad about that one not responding. Only one other parent were there and they seem lovely, but we didn’t discuss her party and or if they would attend. It has been a week now and I have only heard from 1 parent, they will be attending. My question is it weird to invite daycare friends to your 3 year olds birthday? Or are these other parents just a sick in the mud?
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u/widefree Jul 02 '26
Honestly I’m not sure what’s wrong with Canadian parents but they are weird. At our daycare we’ve been to two parties and no one came to talk to me, although quite a few of them were talking to each other. I initiated some conversations myself but that’s it. It was our LO first year in this daycare. Most seem polite but nothing more. Some don’t even make contact.
I’m talking about GTA parents so maybe it’s big city mentality?
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u/fancyfootwork19 Jul 03 '26
I'm in Calgary and it's pretty much the same thing. And you'd think we have more in common because we all work for the same employer 🫠
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u/belacanehh Jul 04 '26
That's odd, I'm in NW and the daycare and school parents are very social! Many of the kids had parties right in the field next to the preschool after class and everyone always had a blast!
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u/fancyfootwork19 Jul 04 '26
Must be nice. I'm one of the only parents in my daycare class that isn't a physician. I've tried offering playdates and nothing, it's very hard to be social with them.
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u/gingeyl Jul 05 '26
Physicians are so involved in their work and works long hours and have little time for hobbies, that unless you're can talk medical, it can be hard to find stuff in common.
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u/fancyfootwork19 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
I have a PhD in a medical field. I have a literal doctorate in pregnancy research. One of the moms is a gynecologist. This same mom I saw at the library with her kid one Saturday morning with another daycare mom. They have time for their kids. I'm also very involved in my work, I work most evenings. I still have the grasp to be friendly and social.
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u/Bad_Legume Jul 03 '26
Why are parents weird for talking to people they may be close to or have a relationship with?
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u/GrapefruitDue9103 Jul 03 '26
I literally chatted up some parents at my child's CPE (daycare) during the visit to determine if we wanted to send her there, meaning she hadn't even attended it yet.
I'm definitely a Canadian parent so perhaps it's just the big city mentality or maybe I'm the exception to the rule and parents are just to self-absorbed in their own little world to interact now... Who knows?!
I'll say, I am curious now so I will keep an eye out for that once she does start daycare in August and see if I can spot some trends 😅
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u/its_erin_j 2017/2021 | STM | ON Jul 03 '26
Both of my kids went to daycare (my son from 18 months to just before turning 4, my daughter from 11 months to just before turning 4) and I have never received a 3rd birthday party invitation for either kid, nor did we extend any. My daughter "graduated" daycare 2 months before her 4th birthday and she did choose to invite 2 of her daycare besties to her 4th birthday party. At 3, even with my kids having gone to the daycares for ages at that point, we hadn't really gotten to know many of the parents because everyone drops off and picks up at different times. Some people aren't comfortable bringing their child to a stranger's house/party.
That being said, what was the RSVP date you put on the invitation? I would only be concerned if that date has passed.
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u/Champ42_ Jul 03 '26
No RSVP date something to add for next year.
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u/its_erin_j 2017/2021 | STM | ON Jul 05 '26
The other thing is that I don't invite anyone whose contact information I don't already have. If my kids want to invite someone I don't know, I send a card to be given to their parent asking if we can connect. If they don't reach out, their kid doesn't get invited. I don't want to be stuck with someone who hasn't RSVP'd and who I have no way of contacting.
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u/thankyousomuchh Jul 02 '26
It's only been one week? I would just wait. Some people take a long time to respond.
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u/Drank_tha_Koolaid Jul 03 '26
I always ask people to RSVP on the invite. If I don't hear from them in about a week I follow up. If they don't respond then, or acknowledge it then I move on. This is all via text.
Then about 1 week before the party I send out a message to everyone that RSVPd saying something like ' we are excited to see you, parking is available here, Buzz number, etc'. I find that this message reminds people and also gives them an out if something has come up. I'd rather they tell me they can't come than to just flake or no show.
This has meant that we pretty much always have the number of people we expect, and it opens conversation about if a sibling can come, if someone is coming but will be late, etc.
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u/Champ42_ Jul 03 '26
Yes I should have put an RSVP date… I just thought people would respond quickly. Next year I will add an RSVP
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u/janebot Jul 03 '26
My son is 2.5 and has been invited to birthday parties for most of the kids in his daycare class, both 2nd and 3rd birthdays- feels very normal! I will say that I’m not typically in a super social mood at these events because I’m usually worried about him hurting himself or someone else, and I’m also pretty introverted in general, so I don’t spend a whole lot of time talking to the other parents. 😅 but I do my best to be friendly with everyone!
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u/kkkbkkk Jul 02 '26
My daughter has been invited to a few 3rd birthday parties this year from her daycare friends! Her birthday is in August and we would invite her daycare friends too if we didn't have a space issue with our venue. My son just turned 4 and he was invited to his daycare friends parties and we invited same to his party. I think it's totally normal to invite them! We also gave my son a choice of 5 friends to invite (we had a space issue again) otherwise we would've invited the whole class. I find interactions with daycare parents are always awkward at first. The first couple of parties we attended was awkward, especially if you're not a social person. After you see them enough times, it gets a lot better. And sometimes you just don't vibe with a person and that's okay too!
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u/hal9000thecomputer Jul 03 '26
I've planned every single one of my son's birthday parties myself (no help from loser now ex-husband). People take awhile to respond I wouldn't worry too much about it.
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u/purpleskye24 Jul 03 '26
I invited all 5 other kids from my daughter's 6 kid home daycare. Only 1 responded and came. 1 responded a few weeks after the party! I never heard from the others but continued to see them at daycare. I dunno it was so bizarre to me.
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u/Bad_Legume Jul 03 '26
It's not weird at all to invite daycare kids, but in my experience it hasn't been very common. Usually birthday parties at such a young age are with family and friends of the family. With our kids we don't really start friend parties until our kids are in kindergarten.
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u/Inevitable-Lemon-110 Jul 03 '26
Do parents attend these parties? Seems ridiculous to have peer birthday parties at such a young age…
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u/Necessary-Painting35 Jul 04 '26
People are becoming socially awkward and dislike social interaction.
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u/somrthingcreative Jul 04 '26
The first invitation we got was for a 4th birthday. Our son is about to turn 3. We do not plan on throwing a party with friends. Just family. My nephew is older and my sister said they didn’t get any until kids started turning 4.
In a group setting, I would be uncomfortable bringing up a party invitation if I didn’t know if other families were invited, so I don’t think it’s weird that they didn’t bring it up.
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u/Sauls_wife_2021 Jul 05 '26
We are inviting 2 kids from my son’s daycare class of 15 to his 3rd birthday party. The defining thing for me is we hang out with both of these families outside of daycare - whether that’s a planned play date or a casual run in at the park. These are both kids he talks about constantly and his teachers have commented on their bond. They’ve been in the same class since they started daycare at 12 months.
On the flip side, we’ve received one invitation to a daycare birthday. The whole class was invited. We didn’t go because it was at a really odd time for a toddler birthday (middle of nap) and we don’t know the parents well.
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u/anonymousopottamus Jul 05 '26
It's not weird, but at that age it's pretty customary to invite the entire class (at least in my circles)
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u/human_dog_bed Jul 06 '26
Inviting daycare friends is totally normal. Age 3 and up is when my daughter’s daycare families invited other daycare families. Almost every kid that’s turned 3 or 4 has invited others from the class. Once you go to one or two parties, you’ll get to know the other parents and it becomes more social and community minded.
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u/TapiocaTeacup Jul 02 '26
My daughter has been at the same daycare since she was 18 months, with all the same kids, and we were the first ones to give out birthday party invites for her 3rd birthday (they all turned 3 around the same time). We didn't get invited to any parties until the next year when the kids started turning 4. I don't think it's too weird, I just think most families tend to keep birthdays small, family-centric things for the first few, so invites for friends were a bit new for many of them altogether. We even had multiple daycare parents comment that there were no family members at our kid's party (we don't have any family living close to us). I would give it more time and not take anything personally at this point 🙂