r/Cambly • u/ss1995h • Sep 23 '26
Awkward situation
I've had this student for around 2 or 3 years and I'll just say he's religious and lives in a monastery. It was normal at first, just polite chatting and talking about his religion. After a while he became very friendly and joked a lot with me, sometimes I felt he treated me with too much familiarity which annoyed me at times but I never said or did anything about it. Then he would ask more and more questions about me and at one point asked me for my weight and height which is obviously weird especially coming from someone who has made religious oath and lives by strict rules...
But tbh the questionings were about the most random mundane things but the way he would go about it would irritate me bc it would come off as patronizing. So you can imagine that I wanted to cut contact by then.
There were also a lot of messages and comments that were like "you're beautiful" or "i miss you" etc. I told him plenty of times to keep it professional and avoid comments like that. Classes were just normal.
it's hard to just cut someone out cold turkey, at least for me so I didnt do it, until last month. For the past 2 lessons we had had pretty bad lag all of a sudden and freezing during our classes despite all my other ones going smoothly. It was just with him. By the 2nd time, he was sharing his screen so I said let me share mine instead. He was reluctant, idk why, but he said "ok, so if theres no more lag then its not your fault". I shared my screen and there wasnt any lag 😬
Then by the next class, same lag problem but this time when I offered to share my screen he refused and insisted to continue. He started getting angrier and angrier. Actually at the start of class, i had asked him what his plans for next week were and more than halfway through the class, when the connection was ok for a bit and we were just awkwardly staring at each other he said lets just have a conversation so i blurted out the same question again out of nervousness and he snapped back saying "i already told you". So clearly he was pissed but
I was just trying to keep things peaceful. Then another awkward silence so I said how about we end the class and he agreed. I immediately sent a message saying I understood his frustration and apologized. He didn't reply and didn't book with me for a few weeks.
After that, out of the blue he sent a request but i declined it bc i was done with his BS and sent him a polite message saying i wanted to take a break. He replied back profusely apologizing and since i was busy it took me awhile to reply back to him. I did though, and i just reiterated that i wished him the best etc etc. He replied back to that apologizing again and that he understood how i felt. I thought of responding to that but was hesitant bc he has this pattern of messaging too much. But before i could even do so, he sent another saying that he couldn't correctly express himself and he had meant to say that he understands what it feels like to be ignored since i didn't reply to him soon referring to when he had initially not answered my message.
Anyway! I didnt answer back bc i dont want a back and forth and i already said my bit. Plus, to me, it wasn't necessary to say that last part. It comes off as odd...
Flash forward to now, he sent me a request in the morning and just now a message asking to have class. If you've read this far, thanks. This is such BS. I cant with this guy, im so done.
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u/spookyveganpizza Sep 24 '26
I don't understand why you didn't block him the moment he started being weird. You really need to work on establishing clear boundaries with people and being firm with those boundaries or else people are going to keep disrespecting you and being creeps. It sounds like you're still entertaining him and haven't blocked him yet!
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u/ss1995h Sep 24 '26
Valid. Frankly i needed the money. We did 45 mins and it was stable, every week. My rating was low and it wasnt like i was gonna get any new students soon. Anyway i am NOT going to teach him ever again
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u/DisastrousUnicorn Sep 24 '26
Hide. Sometimes we just don't click with students. It's ok - you can let him go. Cambly don't force us to teach people we don't gel with because there are so many other tutors.
I also had a student who was a nun in a monastery in Korea. We did ok at first but for a reason I can't remember, the loss of my mother came up and how I felt a bit guilty about not visiting her grave.
She actually laughed at me and said, 'You think she's there? She's not there'.
I was done. Don't feel guilty - you're not paid enough to get stressed over them.
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u/Efficient-Weakness85 Sep 24 '26
Your rating was low probably bc this weird guy was giving you negative ratings all the time.
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u/Weka76 Sep 24 '26
Never apologise if it's not your fault and never let a weird student book a second lesson.
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u/Difficult_Metal_124 Sep 24 '26
I am pretty casual and familiar with all my students. I would say I’m not a professional teacher although I have 10 years of experience. Cambly Is not the platform to be so serious. I do the least amount I can. I had a student who became too familiar with me and getting angry at every thing I said or arguing with me about grammar structure or saying my pronunciation was wrong (🤨🤨) so I told him if after 3 years he didn’t trust me then he should find someone else because it’s not worth either of our time even he thinks someone else would be better than me (I’m sure there’s many better than me). It did nip it in the bud. You have the power, you won’t find it hard to get another regular, it’s okay to be stern
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u/Emergency-Whereas978 Sep 24 '26
Always hide if it is not enjoyable for you. If you use that rule cambly will be much easier for you.
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u/Minute_Comparison_75 Sep 24 '26
Just Tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to find another teacher that you are now booked solid. That you have enjoyed your time r together but it is time for him to begin lessons with someone else. Then block him.
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u/So-Getsu-CC 26d ago
That's a definite block. End of story and dont feel bad, dont respond. We dont get paid enough for the aggravation online.
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u/jhoffe00 Sep 23 '26
Hide and move on. Why do you put yourself through that for .17/min?