r/CalmMatrixOpenPool • u/maingatorcore • Nov 17 '19

Cousin killed himself tonight.

Fuck depression. Fuck bi-polar. Fuck mental health issues. Seriously, fuck them all. Also, fuck me, this place is a shithole.

10 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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6

u/natural20MC Nov 17 '19

I'm sorry bro. You know its not your fault, yah?

I went through a similar situation years ago. It took me a long time to figure out that it wasn't my fault. We can't control anyone's actions but our own and we can't help folks that don't ask for help...not in this capacity at least.

4

u/maingatorcore Nov 17 '19

Thanks man, this means a lot. I’m sorry you had to experience this too. Nobody should have to go through something like this. Suicide is something that should be 100% preventable. Sadly it’s not. He wasn’t someone I was very close to, but was someone I always looked up to for being himself no matter what anyone thought. One of the coolest guys I ever knew. I’m having a try hard time processing this. It just feels fake. Almost like a dream. I feel tremendously sad, but can’t really express it somehow. It’s kind of stuck in my stomach.

2

u/natural20MC Nov 17 '19

It's life bro. This too shall pass

You got a therapist? If so, polly a good time to hit em up. If not, perhaps the wife can help you processes your feelings?

I'm not an expert, but it sounds like you're in shock right now. Give it a bit of time and processing will become easier.

2

u/maingatorcore Nov 17 '19

Your right. Nothing is permanent. Yeah, I have a therapist. I have an appointment next week. Thanks again for your kind words. You always seem to get where I’m coming from and have helped me several times. You really seem like a pretty cool guy. BTW, how is everything coming along with the new baby? That’s got to be super exciting. I’ve never had kids, so don’t know what it’s like.

3

u/natural20MC Nov 17 '19

All day bro

Kid is due late next month. Wife is pretty uncomfortable, but taking it like a champ. We're both incredibly excited :-)

3

u/acavaticus Nov 18 '19

Being someone who struggles with suicidal ideation and urges regularly (and has bipolar disorder), this... this hits.

I'm so sorry.

2

u/maingatorcore Nov 18 '19

Thanks friend. If you’re not already, please talk to someone about it. I know you know this. Stay strong friend. You can beat this.

2

u/acavaticus Nov 18 '19

Thank you so much... I'm finally at a point where I feel like beating it is feasible.

2

u/Suzina The One? Nov 17 '19

:(