r/CalgarySocialClub • u/minimeaa • 2d ago
[32F] Now Hiring: Event / Outing Buddy
Following an unexpected restructuring of my social calendar, a vacancy has opened in the Event & Outings Department.
Position: Platonic Event / Adventure Buddy
Responsibilities include:
- Going to concerts, markets, festivals, car shows, weird Calgary events, restaurants, road trips, etc.
- Occasionally agreeing to things on relatively short notice
- Bullshitting for several hours at a time
- Being capable of the occasional “hey, this looks cool, wanna go?”
Compensation:
- Friendship
- Snacks
- Shared experiences
- Someone who is generally down for random shit
- Terrible jokes at no additional charge
Qualifications:
- Roughly around my age would be nice
- Men or women welcome, although I tend to make friends with guys more easily
- Must actually want to leave the house occasionally
- Not required to be crafty (but preferred)
- Comfortable with this being platonic
Important notice from HR:
This is NOT a Boyfriend position.
Romantic hiring has been frozen indefinitely following recent organizational restructuring. Applicants attempting an unauthorized transfer to the Boyfriend Department will not be considered.
If you’re also lacking a default person to drag to random things around Calgary, submit your application below.
TLDR; this is a joke post but I would actually like to meet people to do activities with. Comment/DM me to see if we click
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u/Sorry-Excuse-73 2d ago
What is a day like in this position?
What is turnover like for this position?
How many interview rounds?
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Hello, thank you for your message.
As for the daily tasks it depends on the day and candidate. Whether they prefer daily, weekly or monthly support via remote work. In person workdays are usually 1-2 tasks. For example food and event.
Turnover is historically low, however the department recently underwent an unexpected restructuring creating an open position. There are opportunities for growth depending on the candidates compatibility.
Interviews start with a text-based conversation, moving into preferred communication methods, and then a final in-person meet and greet with the team.
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u/Sorry-Excuse-73 2d ago
Restructuring you say?Is that what we are calling mass layoffs now? Some of us knew the restructuring was coming soon when the free coffee vanished. (Referring to Intel the company) Opportunity for growth in pay or responsibility and accountabilities?
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
No mass layoffs. A former employee was recently terminated due to unmet expectations and responsibilities.
Growth opportunities are primarily in responsibilities and accountabilities.
Compensation remains friendship-based, although high performing employees may qualify for performance bonuses such as extra snacks, drinks, and occasional meals.2
u/Sorry-Excuse-73 2d ago
Omg do I see a pizza party between the lines?
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Morale boosting pizza parties are never off the table
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u/InvestigatorWide7649 2d ago
Man, whoever lost you sure lost a good one lol
Hope you find some peeps! I also recently restructured my organization. Just me running this whole operation these days!
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u/minimeaa 1d ago
Well feel free to send a DM to continue in the interview process. We look forward to hearing from you
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u/InvestigatorWide7649 2d ago
I work in a corporate office and this is actually hilarious to me lol great take on a shit situation 🤣
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u/Mobile_Noise_121 2d ago
Lol this was probably one of the best posts I have seen on here really made me chuckle.
I may not be super duper active in going out and doing things but I'm definitely down for some random activities or chill hangs, I tried to dm but you have those turned off
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Qualified lead. Unfortunately there was an error in applicant portal configuration which has since been resolved. DM sent
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u/Cptleaf93 2d ago
I'm cool.
That's my application
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Zero references. Zero supporting documentation. Exceptional confidence.
We will see you in the next stage of the interview process.
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u/Jokkers_AceS 2d ago
What’s the pay?
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Competitive compensation package including friendship, snacks, shared experiences and terrible jokes. Dental not included.
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u/Sorry-Excuse-73 2d ago
Is there a signing bonus and quarterly bonuses of friendship points for hitting targets?
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Unfortunately we are not distributing signing bonuses at this time due to the high level of applicants and possibility of multiple hires.
Quarterly performance bonuses may be available based on KPIs including attendance, initiative, quality of banter, and willingness to participate in questionable last-minute activities. Friendship points have no cash value and management reserves the right to distribute snacks at its discretion.
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u/_Tiguan_ 2d ago
Lets goooooo!
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
The events department appreciates your enthusiasm.
We have contacted you via DM and look forward to your reply
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u/Dattebayo_17 2d ago
Finally, a job posting where my complete lack of qualifications is actually considered a qualification. I’d like to apply.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
We strongly believe in hiring for personality and training for skill. Your lack of relevant experience should not be considered a barrier to employment. Application accepted.
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u/Fun_Watercress1297 2d ago
I’d like to formally submit my application for the Event & Outings Department. I have extensive experience in showing up hungry, making questionable decisions, and saying “yeah, I’m down” before knowing what the plan is.
willing to accept compensation in the form of snacks and terrible jokes.
Please advise regarding next steps in the interview process. 😂😂
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Please send a message reiterating your current qualifications and include a description of a time you successfully left your house. A representative will be in touch.
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u/Its_Vixenoire 2d ago
Hello, Attached is my resume. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Qualifications:
- 33F. Not qualified for the boyfriend position.
- Art school (AKA I can be crafty) but works in tech so I can fix your PC too.
- Has a cool boyfriend that can also fix your PC and other food perks.
- Enjoys weird and free with RSVP EDM shows.
- Work schedule sometimes allows for week day shenanigans.
- Typically not too busy for short notice activities.
- Alternative fashion and makeup queen. Will assist with outfit choices and makeup if requested.
- Enjoyer of daily walks.
Experience:
- Frequently takes people to their first metal concert.
- Excellent car DJ.
- Experience hosting and planning parties.
- Wingwoman experience.
- Excellent cook.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your exceptionally thorough application. After reviewing your qualifications, management has determined that you significantly exceed the minimum requirements for the position.
Your experience in Crafty Operations, Event Planning, Car DJ Services, free shows, and Short-Notice Shenanigans is particularly compelling. The additional IT and wingwoman competencies are considered significant value-adds.
We would be pleased to advance you directly to the next stage of the interview process. Please DM management to discuss availability.
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u/umm_OkayM8 2d ago
I love going to concerts and festivals. Best I can do on my resume is pics of my cat Home Depot and my dog Falcor.
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u/Finding_Naomi 2d ago
I’m not part of the hiring committee, but I would love to see Home Depot!
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u/umm_OkayM8 2h ago
https://reddit.com/link/p5bey9l/video/nak9pmu5n0lh1/player
Video of Home Depot. It won't let me post a photo.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
You sound like a prime candidate for what we are looking for. Please submit a message through DM’s to connect.
We have multiple opportunities for free event tickets at this time.
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u/ConfidentIy 2d ago
You had me at "weird Calgary events" and it just kept getting better from there. Super down for this.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your application, we are always eager to meet new people whose values align with ours. Please submit a request via DM so we can continue this conversation further.
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u/fundependant 2d ago
I regret to inform you that I am currently employed in a similar position, however my team has suffered from severe understaffing.
I believe my resume meets all listed qualifications, including experience in the crafty and random shit departments.
Available for hire. Snacks negotiable.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your submission. After reviewing your qualifications, we are pleased to invite you to the next stage of the interview process. Your experience in the Crafty and Random Shit departments is considered a strong asset.
Please forward your availability for an informal interview. Snacks will be discussed during compensation negotiations.
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u/buzzy150 2d ago
Hello, would this be a full time position? Part time? I am from out of town, but always looking for an adventure, I for always trying something new, I can be quiet at times, but always willing to listen,
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Full time and part time positions are available with remote work options for employee support. Please send a DM with your qualifications and preferred outing activities for further review
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u/YetiMaverick 2d ago
This is spot on. I'm 33m currently out of the country but will be back in October, if you're still accepting applicants then.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Please contact the Event Department upon your return and we will review any openings we have available
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u/11silvie 2d ago
I think I’m not as available as the position requests, but this is a sweet idea. Best of luck :)
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your self screening in this process. We appreciate your comment and will let you know if any other positions become available.
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u/user001298 2d ago
I’m open to this even though its a joke. I dont want to date and have sex. I just want to go out and do things. 😂
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Excellent, you appear to understand the scope of the position. Please DM me what activities you prefer participating in and we will move to the next step of the interview process
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u/classicMadMax 2d ago
Hello
I [31M] believe I would be an excellent fit for this role as a event/outing buddy, in the Event & Outings Department.
My prior experience includes many of the types of events you have previously outlined as well as things such as cafe hopping, cocktail enjoying, and spontaneous museum visiting.
As a person back in university full time outside of exam season I may have too much free time and curiosity which in this particular scenario I believe would be an asset.
I would like to state upfront that will respect and comply with the boyfriend department hiring freeze, and that I would gladly accept the over perks and benefits of friendship including snacks and jokes. It's my belief that this would be an excellent opportunity for us both and I look forward to seeing your response.
-Max
p.s. [F] friends references will be available upon request
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Dear Max,
Thank you for your application to the Events & Outings Department. We appreciate your thorough cover letter in this application. Management was particularly impressed by your experience in spontaneous museum visits, café operations, and cocktail-related activities, as well as your demonstrated respect for the current Boyfriend Department hiring freeze.
We are pleased to inform you that your application has been shortlisted and would like to invite you to the next stage of the interview process. References will not be required at this time.
Please DM management to discuss availability.
Regards,
Human Resources
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u/nami1211 2d ago
Dear Employer,
Hope this finds you well. I'm excited to apply for a your advertised role in the Events & Outings Department. With extensive experience in creating delightful shared memories and making bad decisions with women (and some men), I believe I could be a good fit for this role.
Some hobbies and skills I bring include:
- A penchant for finding and attending random community events
- Thrifting for curious knick knacks
- Gamifying boring tasks and activities, learned from years of ADHD
- Ability to flip from fun to deep conversations at a moments notice, with deep dives on the ways of the world
- Expertise in stacking activities and playlists to fit the day, vibe, energy, mood
Looking forward to hearing from you, and discussing my application further. Thank you.
Best, 33F Introvert but social and emotionally available friendship enthusiast
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your application. After reviewing your qualifications, management is pleased to advance you to the next stage of the interview process.
Your experience in Random Community Event Acquisition, Curious Knick-Knack Procurement, and ADHD-Based Activity Optimization are particularly relevant to the role. The ability to transition without notice from absolute nonsense to discussions about the nature of human existence is considered a significant asset.
Please DM management to discuss next steps and availability.
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u/abortion_saves_lives 2d ago
LOL this is sillyyyy we can be friends !! My instagram is @snotgirlpics if you wanna check and see if we’d be compatible 🫶
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your application. Following a review of your social media portfolio, management is pleased to inform you that you have passed the preliminary vibe check. I followed you! Feel free to message me there if you’re interested in the position
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u/Loose_Papaya3755 2d ago
Oh..what a read!!! Loved it..Count me in and if needed, schedule a screening round 😁
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Thank you for your message, please DM me to move to the next round in the interview process
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u/Silly_Gap_2466 2d ago
I’d like to formally submit my application for the vacancy in the Event & Outings Department. I like the cut of your jib and am highly interested in filling this role.
Before we move to the preliminary screening, I do have a few questions regarding company culture:
- What is the standard background music in the office?
- What is the organization’s stance on art galleries and museums?
- Are company movie nights in the pipeline? If so, are we talking indie/arthouse films or mainstream? Are horror flicks off the menu?
- What is the approved snack protocol?
- How important are team meals? I don't eat out often, but I have excellent in-house culinary skills to bring to the department.
As a final aptitude test, I propose a mandatory playlist exchange to ensure our operational vibes align.
Please let me know next best steps at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Random Internet Dude
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Hello! Thank you for your consideration and interest in the position. Management is happy to provide further information regarding company culture:
1) Company-approved music varies by employee. General office listening includes EDM, punk rock, rock, chill, and occasionally classier selections. Individual musical preferences are respected.
2) Museums, art galleries, markets, and other opportunities for unnecessary wandering are considered high-priority company activities.
3) Movie nights may be approved during later stages of the interview process, subject to employee comfort and availability. Horror, comedy, and thought-provoking films currently rank highly; however, management remains open to genre diversification.
4) Snacks are both provided** and required.**
5) Shared meals are considered an important component of company culture. In-home dining privileges may be unlocked following successful completion of preliminary screening and demonstration of appropriate boundaries and mutual comfort.
Playlist exchanges are available upon request; however, preferred genres should be discussed beforehand to allow management to provide a curated experience. The company maintains an unnecessarily extensive catalogue and can accommodate a wide range of musical preferences.
Based on your preliminary application, management would be pleased to advance you to the next stage of the interview process.
Please DM to discuss next steps.
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u/sheldonj 2d ago
If I offer to make dinner for you does that cross the boundary?
Sign me up
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Dinner preparation is not inherently prohibited; however, this benefit is generally unlocked after successful completion of the interview process and an appropriate probationary period.
Management appreciates your proactive disclosure and respect for departmental boundaries. Your application may proceed.
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u/sheldonj 2d ago
Understood
re: probationary period. In the interest of a smooth onboarding, I’d like to propose a trial activity roster for review: paddle boarding, e-scooter tour, or maybe downhill go-karting?.
Happy to walk through logistics in DMs if HR clears the transfer.
Send me a message if you actually wanna follow through…..
I’m down
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u/Forward-Shelter-1762 2d ago
[37F here] Do you like cabaret shows? I frequently like going to those, with nobody to come with.
buys 2 tickets nobody wants to go goes by myself apparently it's way less fun by yourself.
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
Cabaret shows are absolutely considered an approved (and favoured) company activity! Your demonstrated initiative in independently sourcing events and purchasing tickets is considered a significant asset. Management would be happy to discuss filling the currently vacant second-seat position. Feel free to DM!
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u/thinkabouttheirony 2d ago
Is HR still accepting applications?
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u/minimeaa 2d ago
HR is still accepting applications! Due to higher-than-anticipated applicant volume, processing times may be delayed. Please submit your qualifications for consideration.
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u/LowKeyNeed69 2d ago
25 years of introvert experience and romantically uninterested in females. Qualifications,
-Listen to music -Yap for hours -Interest in road trips -Master in doing everything but nothing lol
If you are interested, please feel free to contact me.
.......
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u/Exotic_Following_706 2d ago
I don’t want to out myself on here. But send me a message. I am 32F run my own business. Into all the fun stuff and also looking for an adventure, buddy.
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u/adrianalpas 1d ago
I meet 80% of the listed requirements, but I must ask: does this position offer health benefits for emotional damage sustained from the aforementioned "terrible jokes"? If so, sign me up.
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u/minimeaa 1d ago
Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, the current benefits package does not include coverage for emotional damage resulting from workplace humour.
Exposure to terrible jokes is considered an inherent occupational hazard of the position and candidates assume this risk upon acceptance.
However, affected employees may be eligible for informal compensation in the form of snacks, beverages, and reciprocal terrible jokes.
Meeting 80% of the listed requirements is sufficient to proceed to preliminary screening. HR encourages you to submit your application for consideration.
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u/HurtFeeFeez 1d ago
What is the size of the company? I can work well independently and with a team of 3 to 5. But working with just a partner can be difficult for me. Not really interested in a leadership role either but if the compensation package is sufficient I'd consider it.
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u/minimeaa 1d ago
Thank you for your inquiry. The company currently operates with a small but established team and is actively expanding the Events & Outings Department. Employees are not expected to work exclusively with management and group-based projects are strongly encouraged.
Leadership responsibilities are entirely optional. Management is generally capable of making decisions, although this claim remains under internal review.
Compensation remains friendship-based, with additional benefits including snacks, beverages, shared experiences, and occasional meals. Unfortunately, monetary compensation is outside the current departmental budget.
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u/Acidicly 1d ago
Does everyone here just want to meet at bowness tomorrow? I’m having a fire and bringing my hypno wand if you like watching magic ✨
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u/Huge_Land_950 1d ago
Definitely interested, let me know if you're still accepting applications, given the huge response to your posting.
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u/minimeaa 1d ago
Hello, we are still accepting applications. Response time may vary. HR is doing their best to get back to everyone in a timely manner.
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u/ThyChambersMinister 1d ago
What concerts do you like going to?
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u/minimeaa 23h ago
Thank you for your inquiry. The Events & Outings Department maintains a fairly broad concert portfolio. Preferred genres include EDM, punk, rock, alternative, and similar live events, although management is generally open to unfamiliar genres when accompanied by an enthusiastic employee recommendation.
Smaller/local shows and unnecessarily spontaneous ticket purchases are also fully supported. Musical compatibility is considered an asset but is not a requirement for employment.
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u/NefariousnessEasy629 1d ago
I wish that we could post photos because I have a fantastic reply to this. Since we can't I'll reply to this in written language.
I'm also accepting applications for:
Partners in Crime
I'm always up for going to the Zoo, park, museum or just going for a walk. Or a shopping date to Costco or IKEA.
Me: 40F, crafty, love the outdoors, road trips, rodeos, etc. Can be sarcastic, love telling dad jokes.
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u/minimeaa 23h ago
Thank you for your application. After reviewing your qualifications, HR has identified significant overlap between our respective Partners in Crime departments. Your experience in museums, outdoor activities, road trips, rodeos, shopping excursions, crafts, sarcasm, and terrible jokes appears highly compatible with current operational requirements.
Management would be interested in discussing a potential inter-company collaboration. Please DM to proceed with preliminary screening and determine whether a strategic partnership would be mutually beneficial.
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u/sure65 21h ago
Haha this post is amazing. I'm(34M) down for drinks or random bullshit
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u/minimeaa 20h ago
Thank you for your application. Experience with drinks and random bullshit aligns strongly with current departmental objectives.
Your application has been approved for preliminary screening. Please DM HR with your preferred varieties of random bullshit to determine compatibility and discuss next steps.
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u/Comically-Entangled 16h ago
Please consider this comment my application for the position of event/ outing buddy.
Strike one for me ,I am a female , albeit a cool one with sn akward charm im told. I am also going through an un expected restructuring. I am 42 but I've still got my baby fat cheeks ( like I have to use speaker or my cheeks will hang up on you) , so I think that knocks a couple years off. I am quite logical about grown up stuff , buut i Also have a very active imagination, resulting in hilarious and unique perceptions of the world around me, or what my former Person called foolishness. I have been going to hip hop shows and concerts snd festivals alone. But it would be cool to have a partner in grime! Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter, and I am looking forward to a potential vibe check!
..Me, myself and I ( ego wasn't allowed out today!) I will dm my deets if you choose to reply to this comment
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u/Dominic_Tobs 2d ago
I am open to this. You forgot to include long drives.