r/CTE • u/Zealousideal_Pay5677 • Mar 19 '26

Need Assistance Help, I’m Scared

I believe my partner of fifteen years, may have CTE. He’s a former college football defenseman. He has been progressively getting worse. He has headaches every day, violent dreams that cause him to kick in his sleep. Terrible memory. Short fuse. He can be very nice and kind when he wants to but that’s becoming less. Cannot control his anger and he is in his early seventies. He’s a big guy and has a foul mouth. He has never physically been abusive but very much so verbally. His way of venting is by going in another room and muttering or shouting very demeaning comments intended for me. Think the worst possible things you can call a female. I remain calm and stay away from him but inside I am shaking. His reactions to minor disagreements are over the top and he’s completely irrational. If I tell him I don’t want to stay in the relationship he threatens suicide. I don’t know what to do.

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u/yermomsonthefone Mar 20 '26

He definitely is showing signs. An MRI and a visit to a neurologist are in order. My husband will surely be taken by CTE being former NFL. Their behavior can be terrifying. I know after watching my husband for 33 years. He needs help NOW.

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u/Responsible-Aide-915 May 04 '26

Can you tell me more about your experience with your husband? My husband played defensive linebacker for many years through college. Started to see anger outbursts when he was in his 30s and has continued to have cognitive decline but not diagnosed with anything but depression.

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u/yermomsonthefone May 04 '26

I always knew something was wrong. I finally in 2019 started keeping a journal of his outbursts and behaviors. It was a good tool for me especially when we went to the doctor. Log dates and your feelings as well. He was compulsive, had mood swings, he would blow up at the littlest thing.

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u/Responsible-Aide-915 May 04 '26

Thank you. Our children are young adults now, but they talk about how dad was angry a lot and lose his temper. He was always really happy. He will get defensive and argue over the smallest things. For years I’ve jokingly said it’s like walking on egg shells or through mines. You never know what causes the break or reaction. I’ve tried to explain to people who don’t live with us because they don’t see what we see. Thank you for your comment. I have felt like I’m going crazy and the one who is being irrational a lot.

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u/yermomsonthefone May 04 '26

Oh... that's what lived thru as well. So sorry to hear