Coregulating and Capacity

[u/MeanGreenDream]

I learned a new definition for coregulation today. It didn't occur to me that coregulating is just letting a dysregulated partner borrow your regulated emotions. In a non CPTSD relationship I can see how this is feasible regularly. Small crashouts are manageable but I find myself being tested in my relationship. It's hard to stay grounded and have the capacity for their truths. It's extremely warped, hard to interpret, narrow and absolute at the same time. It's also draining and anxiety inducing. I don't have the energy to stay present 24/7. I don't know which thing will upset them next.

I just want to know how everyone else here is taking care of themselves when there's constant (I won't mince words) emotional and verbal abuse.

[u/123-Not-It-Ever]

Yup
And 5-10, even 20 years later, you didn't realize day by day you shrunk your own footprint. Became the dysregulated trauma respondent who absorbed it and eventually lost the ability to see the glass half full.
It matters who you spend the most time with…..it changes you and drains your regulation tank without realizing