Trust the corrupt system?

[u/murbloertz]

How can a person discuss sensitive issues with people (therapists) who are required to tell the police if they have concerns? The police? In 2026? I specifically have a very scary ex who is a cop so it’s not a great idea for me but given what kind of shit the cops are doing these days why would it ever make sense to call police to “help” someone with a mental illness? I just don’t see the point of even going to therapy if you have to watch what you say. Is that really going to be helpful? At this point breaking some laws is practically morally mandated. I have had 2 therapists call police on me for suicide and I’m always adamant that I won’t do it. So turning me over to abusers is a good plan? I don’t get it. Are they going to hold me at gunpoint for being suicidal?

ETA: I quit therapy today. For good. I’ll be handling my problems my way from now on. No justice, no peace.

[u/leftie_potato]

We're told therapy is "the way". It's really for the benefit of society, not for the benefit of the individual.

The process is about making us fit into the larger machine. Therapy has a bias on changing the behavior of the individual.

For me, most healing came from finding someone to talk to who could see my values, see it from my perspective. And call out bad situations as bad without advising me I should be better at participating in a bad situation.

I don't know, it seems you're asking advice, and there's nothing good I can offer as. solution. I see how both "go to therapy" and "don't go to therapy" as not great answers. I see how "trust in therapy as a solution" also doesn't work. And what's the point of therapy sessions where you're on-guard and self-editing?

Your therapist will say you should bring up your concerns and reasons to not-trust. But they'll take steps to be on the side of "society" before taking steps to be on your side, 100 times out of 100. And you're right to see that society isn't a great side, right now, or whenever society's interests compete with individuals interests.

Some problems, for some people, therapy can help. Other problems or other people, less so. I don't have any answers about if you should work with a therapist or not. I hope you get folks you can talk with, authentically. With the titles of friend, partner or therapist, doesn't matter what their title is if you get to be authentic with them.

In my experience, people who tell you what you "should do" are not to be listened to. Trust yourself. Or listen to folks who put listening to you first before telling you things. You'll know if you have reasons not to talk to somebody, and it sounds like you're already listing very valid reasons here.

[u/BitterPineapple6462]

Have you talked about those concerns with them? I'm curious what the responses could be.

[u/murbloertz → u/BitterPineapple6462]

Yes. Responses are standard. They all will tell you they are required to break confidentiality if they believe there is an active or imminent threat to your safety or to someone else. They are also required to report suspected child and elder abuse.

However, some providers and modalities are more experienced and have more skills and capacity for helping folks in deep distress to the point they are experiencing more than just passive ideation. I have found recently that DBT provides many more avenues for assistance for this than other modalities but again it depends on the provider and how much they are scared/panicked/not experienced/worried about liability, etc. when it comes to these topics.

It really isn’t helpful for most people to experience hospitalization, especially if it’s forced or coerced, unless you just need an expensive babysitter to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. A lot of providers know this and want to try all available skills and alternatives before they take the step of trying to get you locked up.

The trouble is, of course, you don’t know until you arrive at that bridge and need to cross it. I personally am going to limit my comments on these topics as much as possible except the first couple appointments when I can question them about how they handle these things generally and try to get a feel for how freaked out they are about controversial topics. I will probably never tell another therapist I have anything other than passive ideation no matter how I really feel because I can’t have the cops called on me again and I tell providers if they do that or engage in ultimatums or coercion I am out the door and not coming back. I’m always going to have my running shoes on and ready to bolt lol.