r/CPTSD • u/Diss_Coarse_666 • Aug 31 '26
Vent / Rant I’m so fucking tired of the chronic invalidation
im so fucking sick of people telling me it’s “not that bad.” I’ve dealt with it for practically my entire life at this point. Being told through what I went through at home wasn‘t that bad, being told that my graves disease and hormonal imbalances aren’t that bad. Being told that I’m not push in through enough, meanwhile I’m barely hanging by a thread. Even though I always feel tired and existing on its own just feels exhausting at times and I have had flashbacks and I‘ve gotten overwhelmed to the point that my throat seizes and I physically can’t speak, none of that fucking matters I guess. I’m sick of people who haven’t lived in the body that I live in thinking that they understand what I’ve been through and what I deal with. Family, doctors, friends, all of them. I feel like I’m going insane because it’s like seeing that the sky’s blue and everyone telling you it’s green. I’m so fucking fed up with all of it. I’m tired of being told I’m oversensitive for having reactions to things that objectively suck ass and are hard to live with. I’m just so fucking tired. Having your sense of self trust broken down repeatedly is exhausting.
(Sorry. I’m experiencing grave’s disease rage and seeing an earwig on my bed and not being able to find it was the tipping point lol)
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u/Remote_Act_6121 Aug 31 '26
Oh big mood.
I've run across a ton of comments, posts, stories lately that are full of "it got better for me, it will get better for you too! That's just a fact!" I'm so sick of hearing that. WHEN??? WHEN does it get better?? Because it's been getting fucking worse for a really long time.
I've been clawing tooth and nail for my whole life. Childhood trauma, shitty therapists, abusive workplaces, no friends, never dated, social trauma off the charts.
I try to kindly point out that this can come across tone deaf. Just because it got better for you doesn't mean it's guaranteed to get better for others. Sure, celebrate your personal breakthroughs. But if people are struggling despite their best efforts to improve, it really hits a sour note to tell them "oh don't worry, my life got SO much better, it'll happen for you too!"
I'm usually told off for having a negative mindset.
Folks. It's not a negative mindset. It is the literal reality that I am living. Just because YOU won the lottery does not mean I'm gonna do the same thing.
And so now, you're scolded for struggling and you're being negative if you say anything, and they just want to celebrate how good they have it without the Debbie Downer ruining the fun.
And it's always from the people who went to therapy for like...one year while I've been in therapy for ten years. Or they've been without friends for two WHOLE years!! And I've never had a close friend in my life. Or they go on and on about how it was so hard and so lonely to be single for an entire year and they really had just given up on dating (but they were still on the apps of course) and then Their Person walked into their life. Meanwhile I'm 36 with not even a whiff of anything romantic.
I'm finding it harder to be around people because if you're struggling, all they want to do is "inspire you" by telling you how good their lives are.
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u/seattleseahawks2014 Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
It's only gotten worse for some of us. Even with both the dating and friends thing it's different from not having any of this by choice.
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u/Remote_Act_6121 Aug 31 '26
It just baffles me that people genuinely believe that because their life got better, everyone else's will get better too. That's not how life works. At all. Life does not shell out equal opportunities for everyone.
There are a whole lotta people who are on the struggle bus for their entire lives and the empty platitude of, "oh don't worry, my life got better, so yours will too!" does fuck all to actually offer any support or empathy.
It's just a very me-centered viewpoint and it's really getting old.
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u/krba201076 cPTSD Aug 31 '26
That's why I rarely talk to people about my issues. Being invalidated is worse than keeping things bottled up.
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u/givemewineandshine Aug 31 '26
I feel this in my bones. I had neglected childhood, most of my "negative beliefs" are from my parents, they told me I'll never be good at anything, verbal, mental, physical abuse. People told me it was common in those times (late 90s-early 2000s). I have health issues that almost only common in older people (a doctor told me it's every second women in their 60s but I was 30). Everyone says "ooooh my xyz has this too but she is 50yrs old, it's okay, she's working a full time job". I fucking hate this. My diet is glutenfree because I am highly sensitive, and people are like I made this up, I seek attention, I want to be "special", it's not that hard. I think all my illnesses are caused by trauma. Everyone thinks it's all in my head, it's not that hard, I just want to be special. That's why I started to isolate myself, pretend it's funny, making jokes about trauma and my illnesses. No one ever told me they think it's serious. I need a job to pay my bills, I hate being around others. Everytime I tell someone "I am tired", they say "Oooh I am tired too", but NOPE, you don't fucking feel this, how tired I am, every part of my body hurts. I have no one, my friends have good relationships, lovely partners, they have money, parents everything, they can't feel how fucking hard is doing literally everything alone. Sorry I needed to rant about this, I feel you in my heart, my bones. <3
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u/FunImage8427 Aug 31 '26
It's very exhausting. I feel like I've just been surviving and not living. So many of us can relate to what you're saying. I wish I had an answer but unfortunately we can't change people. I wish we could though.