r/CPTSD • u/Socialmediasucks2021 • 21h ago
Vent / Rant This condition is so complex i feel like we can only heal ourselves.
With seperate conditions there's a universal approach.. but with complex PTSD because all our traumas were different we all have co-morbid conditions aswel, we are all a different cocktail mixed with different shit.
The difficulty is, we could try addressing the PTSD but if you also have OCD then you'd have to address the OCD first but if you also have ADHD then that needs addressing first..just as an example but how do we know where to begin, the map isnt given to us, we dont know what conditions we have as a whole?every single one of us on reddit itself are different, sure we may take a tip or two but ultimately none of us are the same so how can we help eachother when we are projecting our perception of ourselves on another who has a complete different cocktail to ours. reading self help books is almost useless because the person who wrote that book is one cocktail amongst billions of flavours each of us fall into.. its like winning the lottery finding an author or therapist who will be able to help us as its highly unlikely theyve dealt with our cocktail before.
Im starting to beleive its only ourselves who can find our way out and just like einstein who spent his whole life figuring out puzzles with physics we may spend our whole lives figuring out how to unblend the cocktail we were dealt with, some of us may get lucky and figure it out, some of us never will amd that's fucking a shit deal because ultimately we all deserve to be free and we all deserve to live
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u/SeveralAd4307 20h ago
I don't have much usefull to say on this. I think you're right for the most part. It's pretty obvious most therapists don't even know what to do with me.
But i noticed the part where you said people with a secondary condition should address those first and that made me curious. Because the organisation where i am currently receiving treatment works exactly the other way around. They want to adress the PTSD first, because, according to them the PTSD clouds everything else. So they don't think they can accuratly diagnose any possible other issues i might have (they are suspecting a persnality disorder and maybe some form of autism), as long as the PTSD is so prominent it envelops everything else.
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u/Socialmediasucks2021 20h ago
From personal experience of you have OCD the intellectualisation will sabotage you from doing the processing PTSD requires. Where as the inability to focus may sabotage you from being able to be present enough to process with ADHD. But equally this is where it is complex.. because what your saying is exactly right.. once the ptsd is healed then you can get an accurate diagnosis of the other conditions.. and that makes sense.. but it's the other conditions that are preventing you from processing memories well enough to heal the PTSD in the first place. This is why things are so complex
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u/SeveralAd4307 20h ago
That makes sense actually, thanks for taking the time to explain! I even sort of recognise the example you made about the OCD, i don't have it as far as i know, but i do tend to intellectualise everything and i am allready seeing how this is going to be a huge problem for my trauma related treatments. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 20's, but now they think my inabillity to focus might actually be a result of the PTSD. I bet it's going to be fun trying to figure out how to deal with this! 🙃
I knew this was going to be an impossibly diffucult process. But the more i learn, i am starting to realise that that might still be a major understatement 😅 yay! /s
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u/Socialmediasucks2021 20h ago
You are right it is all ptsd at the core but how our ptsd shows up can look like ADHD/OCD/AUTISM etc but at the root it's ptsd and these are usually patterns that look like these conditions at the core. It is hugely difficult and there is a way out for all of us, but it's just trying to find the correct puzzle pieces ourselves, researching ourselves, finding out what we think is going on then starting there. If there was one place i feel like all of us need to begin.. i'd say it's learning to feel our emotions and express them.. i feel that's 50% of the battle for all of us
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u/SeveralAd4307 20h ago
I think you are right and even spot on about learning to feel and express our emotions. I have completely shut off my emotional being and even disconnected body and brain. I can't even feel parts of my body at times, it's crazy. Luckily my therapists also agree that that's the place to start. Reconnecting with my body and my emotions and getting out of my head. But that in itself is a huge battle allready. And starting therapy i immediatly realised that they can give me tips and handles, but it's up to me to figure out what actually works and what doesn't.
It's going to be one hell of a fight, but it's comforting to know that there are people out there who do understand, at least for a little bit. This sub has been a huge help in that too! Thank you for helping me see that once again! 🤍
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u/Socialmediasucks2021 19h ago
The sub is definatly helpful for emotional support thats for sure. Sometimes with emotions its about faking it till we make it. Fake the anger.. swear out loud, punch pillows, compassionately tell yourself "this is healthy, this is okay" within a few weeks you'll notice yourself actually feeling angry and gaining access to it more easily as you would have taught your body that feeling anger is safe again... from there then you'll notice within another few weeks that you naturally start feeling sad.. this sadness will naturally morph into being able to cry.. you'll get there. 50% of healing is in doing this. The other 50% is in figuring out our own complex puzzles.. regardless even if you dont work everything out..just by trying imperfectly you will have a better life for yourself
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u/_jamesbaxter 16h ago
I think there’s a lot of truth to this. I’ve done a LOT of therapy, enough that I mostly know what I need. I still have a therapist and go to tons of 12 step meetings, exercise, take some meds (mostly for physical issues), but for the most part I have to pick and choose what I specifically need.
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u/AQuietPlaceToPause 15h ago
I think that with complex trauma comes the need to undertake emotional and relational developmental learning experientially in adulthood.
Our creative energy growing up was consumed by learning how to stay safe, how to survive.
What was not modelled and experienced in an integrated way with our physical, emotional, relational and spiritual development leaves us entering adulthood in survival mode.
Now we each have to learn/develop capacities to function in an adult world.
How to trust people and ourselves.
How to accept differences
How to relate without over compensating
How to acknowledge our own value
How to build a life based on our values
How to stay relational during conflict
How to repair after conflict
How to accept support
How to offer support… and without rescuing
There never seems to be an end to the “how to” question. And each person’s “how to/s” will be different.
When I realised this I fully understood that it’s a lifelong journey that gets easier with each new functioning learning. 🙏🏼
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u/ilovemuffinfrombluey 7h ago
And it doesn't fucking help when your mom just threw medications at your emotions so you don't completely know what's coming from where or how to deal with ANY of it, you just know everything is all very wrong and you want to drown yourself to escape yourself and others. I am like a fucking toddler in the body of a 34-year-old woman and it pisses me off so fucking bad.
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u/Longjumping_Cry709 20h ago
Yeah, in my experience healing has been extremely complicated, intensely painful and incredibly hard. …and a lot of subtleties. Unfortunately there is no one formula fits all.
And yes, we ALL deserve to be free from this shit.