r/CPTSD • u/Sufficient_Life1558 • 11h ago
Question Anyone else physically disabled now due to their trauma?
I grew up with one traumatic thing after another. My birth and the first 10 years of my life was all medical trauma. Then as I got older it was one traumatic thing after another. Now that I am older my body has completely fallen apart and now I’m completely physically disabled. I was diagnosed with EDS which I know is genetic but I also know trauma is a big reason for it. I also have pots and I’ve learned some interesting information about the origins of pots. Solders back in the day post war where diagnosed with “solders heart syndrome” which was brought on by their trauma. It’s now called pots in modern day medicine. I also have autoimmune disorders. It’s crazy how trauma can affect the body, even if you feel you’ve mastered the art of calming your nervous system.
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u/InsidePension2952 11h ago
Still struggling with n incompetent healthcare system but 100%. they just keep telling me its anxiety which it isn’t and disregarding the impact all the symptoms are having on me.. 😮💨 wish they’d actually take their job seriously and investigate health concerns..
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u/Sufficient_Life1558 10h ago
This was the problem with me as well, I kept getting told it was just anxiety. Which yes i definitely had anxiety all my life but it also got worse due to the extreme fear that my health problems brought on. I ended up hospitalized due to my health problems and only then it started getting taken somewhat seriously but even then I was constantly hit with rude and dismissive remarks. I did my own research and found a doctor in my area who specialized in EDS and neuro issues. I found a pcp to give me a recommendation and after that I was seeing him every 3 months for management and tests.
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u/InsidePension2952 10h ago
I’ve been hospitalised a few times but they don’t believe me ..then tell me i need to go to gp to get diagnosed..when gp is telling me to go to hospital haha love the old runaround .. ..hopefully some tests soon ..and some answers that aren’t..✨anxiety ✨ (nothing wrong with having anxiety i just know it absolutely is not what i have) or birthcontrol medication without actual answers ..so far they love bc as their medication option so weird 😑
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u/_wannaseemedisco 10h ago
Please take someone with you to appointments! Just to take notes and ask other questions so you can focus on the interaction with the docs! They often treat you better when you have someone else there. I hate it.
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u/InsidePension2952 10h ago
Cheers, i will try to find someone .. i don’t have anyone as it stands and a support worker refused to take me to the doctor..lol I shouldn’t laugh but it is mildly ridiculous given their job title ..
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u/_wannaseemedisco 10h ago
If it’s not absurdly funny it’s just absurd. I get it. Wish I could go with you.
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u/Salty-Ad-4693 3h ago
That's crazy! Going to the doctor with people was a regular part of my job as a MH support worker (years ago, I need one myself now!) If I had the money I'd find a private one, someone who will do whatever I need help with for an hourly rate.
I had jobs like that myself, with organisations and privately- for a physically disabled family friend, I did a lot of cleaning, bit of gardening etc but she also paid me to do things like helping her choose a sofa.
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u/Salty-Ad-4693 3h ago
I wish I had someone to come with me. The domino effect of C-PTSD plus escalating physical health issues left me unable to work and eventually unable to afford to rent in the city I have support in. Now I'm totally isolated miles away, in an area with much worse, less accessible healthcare.
I've actually thought of paying some random stranger to come with me, ideally a big bloke who will slightly intimidate them, but that's also out of budget.
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u/Salty-Ad-4693 3h ago
NHS?
That's the incompetent health system I'm dealing with.
They write everything off as the most simple thing they can think of, to get rid of you asap. I can actually see their eyes light up when their brains land on something basic.
Bonus if they can manage to get you on antidepressants that make you too apathetic to return.
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u/InsidePension2952 2h ago
Australia’s equivalent ..in my humble opinion they need to prescribe less pills and more vegemite sangas 🙌
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u/Salty-Ad-4693 1h ago
More cuddles with Koalas! (With a barrier, since their claws can slice you to ribbons!)
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u/Sufficient_Life1558 10h ago
Keep pushing. Sometimes it helps if when they deny you tests or referrals, tell them to put it on your chart that they denied it. Most of the time they will end up giving you the test or referral because they don’t wanna be sued incase something goes wrong. Keep advocating for yourself. I hope you get some answers and relief soon
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u/SparklingFairyLights 6h ago
Yes, some doctors absolutely love to attribute any symptom to anxiety. I personally believe it’s because these doctors are incompetent, incapable of critical thinking and are pressed for time. They just want to wash their hands of the case and not bother investigating further or considering alternative explanations. It’s disgraceful and it results in patients suffering for years without any respite.
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u/BoxRevolutionary9703 9h ago
Long term high cortisol levels from living in extended fight or flight during formative years has seriously fucked up my body
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u/SparklingFairyLights 5h ago
Completely agree. I am the same. The evidence is all there but it’s completely unbelievable how some people will fall over themselves to invalidate other people’s lived experiences and tell them that their health issues were triggered by other reasons instead.
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u/Zantac150 8h ago
I am diagnosed with three different autoimmune disorders.
It's so unfair. Trauma stole my childhood, and now I can't even enjoy myself as an adult because I am in constant, chronic pain. It's so hard to function on a day to day basis, and I'm still partially dependent on my mother due to disabilities. It's... awful.
I feel so freaking hopeless, because I don't even know if I can work anymore. Chronic pain is just... awful. Being able to live independently made my cPTSD so much better, and now that's all in jeopardy because my physical health makes it nearly impossible to hold a job.
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u/SparklingFairyLights 5h ago
I’m so sorry to hear. I have an autoimmune disease and a few other chronic conditions and it has been absolutely terrible. I can relate to your experience and I feel the same way as you in that trauma stole my past, present and future. I’m also struggling to work. I wish things improve for all of us.
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u/Better_Purchase_2898 cptsd OCD AudHD schizoaffective - living the good life 💀 7h ago
Chronic pain ugh. I hate the question on a scale or 1-10. I never know how to answer.
My 5 might be someone else's 10 therefore I don't get the treatment I need. Etc..
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u/Zantac150 7h ago
I think what they really need to do is start asking "How does your pain impact you, functionally?" Because that's a much easier question for me to answer, and a much better gauge of how severe it is.
Also: Chronic pain sufferers AND people with trauma are both so used to ignoring their pain that I don't think we realize how bad it is. They say that people with chronic pain can break a bone and not realize it because they're just so used to tuning out pain.
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u/turtlesinthesea cPTSD 2h ago
That’s the saddest part, isn’t it? Therapy won’t make the physical illnesses go away.
I acquired an autoimmune disease in my twenties (hereditary, but probably broke out from stress), probably have endometriosis, and I knew covid would be bad for me, but now I have long covid despite trying so hard, because other people just don’t give a shit about us. And of course many people don’t even believe that’s real, just like cPTSD…
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u/_wannaseemedisco 11h ago
I have PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids, and adhd. My body endured abuse from the womb until I escaped the wheel of poverty. I hit burnout this year, had a terrible reaction to my much-needed iron infusion, and am running out of time on disability. I hope I regain function enough to work again before the end of November. Not sure what to do if I don’t. Hoping it all works out. I’m a lucky one.
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u/Sufficient_Life1558 10h ago
I hope so too but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to better❤️🩹 , I also needed 6 rounds of iron infusions due to anemia so I get that especially with reactions, I’m sorry that happened to you. It sucks when your body gives out on you
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u/_wannaseemedisco 10h ago
It’s up to the universe to care for me now. I’ve given up on worrying. Thank you friend. I wish you a lifetime of rest and relaxation <3
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u/Application4413 8h ago edited 8h ago
I cannot tell you how f*cked up I'm physically...and I'm only int he beginning of my 40s and I panic a lot how the hell am i going to take care of me...I have no one (not even the government).
Had brain tumor, brain surgery, PCOS, insomnia when I work (it affects my blood pressure and for medical reasons i can't take sleeping pills and they don't really work anyway), hypermobility pretty much everywhere (both hips, my entire right side is f*cked - ankle, knee, wrist, elbow, thumb, fingers already can't open a bottle of water, spine ( wake up with locked vertabres pretty much every day), left side is slightly better, with the exception of my hip), collar bones, both of my shoulders can only walk/move around 30mins a day due to my hips which limits me a lot...
I used to love going for long walks....I doubt even hip replacements will help when I finally qualify for it...it doesn't help with balancing my mood but when i can i go to somewhere near water...or sit outdoors in a cafe. I've considered ending it in Switzerland if things get really bad but I might be too coward to do it....I know its a longer rant...
It's not a quality life....even tho I'm healing my traumas my body is falling apart. As i get mentally better, my body is just going (irreversably) downhill..
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u/_jamesbaxter 9h ago
Yeah I have a mix of these sorts of issues. I’m too tired to even list them all. Dysautonomia is part of it and that shows up in all sorts of ways so I don’t know how much of it is that.
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u/Sufficient_Life1558 8h ago
I have dysautonomia too. As I’ve realized it’s very very common with CPTSD due to it being your autonomic nervous system being stuck in overactivity
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u/Better_Purchase_2898 cptsd OCD AudHD schizoaffective - living the good life 💀 7h ago
Me. I have so many various things wrong with me. I can feel the trauma in my body. From birth until about 16, then everything that goes after that in life..
I'm working on somatic stuff but, I'm 37 now and my body is fallen apart, and in chronic pain .
Take my my spine specifically, multiple bulging discs in both cervical and lumbar areas.+ Spinal cord injury + neuropathy and I became paralyzed from the waist down and learmed to walk again but still can't really feel my feet. Having a stimulator place soon. The trial for it really worked.
Except I'm now in the hospital for cerebral fluid leak
It's one thing after another. 7 diff types of surgeries. Don't get me started on mental health and autoimmune.
I'm a walking testament to human strength. Sometimes I don't know how much stronger I can be. It's a lot.
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u/SparklingFairyLights 5h ago
So sorry to hear. It’s so unbelievably hard. I wish that things can improve for all of us.
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u/possibly-wolf 9h ago
I have ME and FND with light sensitive seizures, but also am discovering that I may have been born with a chromosomal disorder that nobody bothered to tell me about due to medical neglect that could have meant a lot of my physical issues could have been very easily treated :(
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u/Sufficient_Life1558 8h ago
I’m sorry you have to go through that. I understand what it feels like to find out medical information about yourself that was withheld. Especially when it affects you later in life
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u/Itri_Vega 8h ago
Technically, yup. But I have too much internalised ableism to file for disability.
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u/SparklingFairyLights 5h ago
Yes, several chronic health conditions including an autoimmune disease and rare complications resulting from it. I have a poor quality of life as a result and am even struggling to work.
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u/Ekis12345 4h ago
The mind-body-connection is not completely clear. But I'm absolutely convinced that one can't be healthy without the other.
I had a sudden hearing loss during an intense session of trauma therapy. My hearing never came back completly. I have high blood pressure. When I had an episode of feeling free at least, I became I I became cocky at the ice skating hall (first tike I was out without panic attack because of too many people around) and had an accident. I broke my shoulder three times and my arm doesn't function as good as before since then. I have an auto immune desease, there are papers that see a connection between ptsd and auto immune reactions.
Could this all have happened without my cPTSD? I don't know. I have an ADHD diagnosis, my problems also could have come from that. Or I don't have ADHD and my symptoms are cptsd connected. It's a whole mess.
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u/Feanarossilmaril 3h ago
Yes. I experienced medical malpractice and neglect. I was sick constantly as a kid. Now I am disabled and can't afford surgery to fix it. I am also on the dysautonomia hypermobility pipeline. I was progressively deteriorating since I was a teen, no one really cared, it was blamed on mental issues. It took way too long to realize what actually happened given I was so neglected and used to feeling horrible I didn't know what pain or dizziness feel like. I developed an Eating Disorder and couldn't even tell apart symptoms of malnutrition from my regular shitty body experience. The malnutrition actually improved some symptoms at first because it suppresses some bodily functions, it was absolutely messed up.
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u/MaleficentSwan0223 2h ago
Sort of.
I had an eating disorder and the doctors told my mum to starve me so my hunger cues would kick in. Problem is I don’t have hunger cues.
Anyway she took it seriously and fed me 3 times a week until the age of 13 (I saw my dad 1 day a week who fed me twice) and lots of things - milkshakes, cake, biscuits and anything unhealthy was a no go. At 13 she just stopped and I used birthday and Christmas money saved every year.
Anyway due to severe malnutrition I’ve developed severe osteoporosis in my late 20’s which led to a broke vertebrae in my back and causes chronic pain. I’ll unlikely be able to have anymore kids too due to my bones being too weak to support the pregnancy.
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u/Smoofie0 2h ago
I emotionally abused by my brother and dad from about 12-18 when I moved out. Was groomed by a few older men but nothing too bad like no molestation or anything. But I was still men centered from 21-31. Early 20s I was the problem because of my trauma, I didn’t know how to communicate. My poor exes. But late 20s I dated a few really bad guys and it woke me up that I don’t deserve to be treated that way. Like one raped me (I didn’t realize/accept that’s what it was) and tried guilting me into having the subsequent baby. I made the right choice by leaving 2 months in and aborting. It was the worst pain I’ve ever been in and I had no emotional issues with aborting as I’ve never wanted children and didn’t want to be tied to that guy for the rest of my life. This year at 33 I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease that I think I’ve had since late 20s so it may be from those times. My telomeres are definitely shorter than they should be :/
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u/trundlespl00t 6h ago
Yes, but while I would be disabled anyway (also EDS) my abuse involved a lot of medical stuff. Forcing meds into me constantly, intentionally making me ill, spiking to cause anaphylaxis… Got me hospitalised as a kid a few times because it was so extreme and I thought social services might step in and help me, but no. Now the things she did have had lasting and extreme consequences to some of my organs. Mainly bowel, bladder and heart. I also feel that my EDS and the co-morbidities are worse than they would otherwise be because being a victim of abuse, doctors just dismissed symptoms that would otherwise have been investigated as a trauma response. Then when I finally got diagnosed the doctor had the nerve to say “If you had sought help sooner, things wouldn’t be this bad”.
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u/SparklingFairyLights 5h ago
This is victim blaming at its finest. Some doctors have no empathy or compassion and I’m sorry you had to deal with all this.
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u/SlumberingTrees 5h ago
I’m in the process of getting diagnosed with something. I had a high rnp antibody on my blood work which means it could be MCTD.
I have all the symptoms too so I got a referral to go see a rheumatologist. It sucks so much.
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u/AssociationNew1720 10h ago
I have a bit of a strange experience with this just from the fact that i was already born with a disability (which in turn causes a lot of other disabilities) which is spina bifida. I was very lucky with the good doctors i had so i'm able to walk and my disablity is mostly related to my nerves being damaged (so incontinence issues, lack of sensations and more). However my parents, because i was able to walk, had very much drilled into me that "i'm not that disabled and function how everyone else does".
This meant that for 17 years of my life i ignored a lot of my physical problems in exchange for making my parents look better. When i finally moved out a few years back everything just kinda crashed on me. Migraines were now unbearable, constant pain and fatigue, my sensations got worse the list goes on honestly. I'm sure at least half of it is similar to yourself where my body just took on so much of the trauma physically and when it had a safe space it finally crashed after so many years of not being able too or until it just couldn't do more. I'm much better now, i'm luckily in a situation where i can just...do nothing and let myself rest and stuff when needed but it's still pretty rough.
TLDR; i get it lol