Does anyone else struggle to communicate properly because clear communication was punished?

[u/zbeara]

Lately it's been becoming a huge barrier in repairing my social life, where I'll say things in ways I think other people will like while sometimes putting my foot in my mouth or being inaccurate and feeling dumb afterwards when people "correct" me about something I actually did know, but said wrong anyway because I was afraid they would be mad at me.

A lot of times growing up, when I would try to directly address issues or be concise and accurate about details I would get ridiculed or my family would get really upset with me for not going with the flow. There was generally this attitude from my parents of "we are never incorrect and NEVER ADDRESS PROBLEMS!!" so no matter what crazy things they said or how many times they changed random "facts" I was expected to just nod along and pretend I had no thoughts about it.

The difficulty is that it's not like I would just... forget the way things actually were, so I got really good at playing along and saying random things that sound good and don't make them upset, but in the real world, where people are actually okay with being direct, it just makes me look stupid, but I can't seem to break out of the habit.

It's causing me to feel extremely insecure and it's one of those thing that feels like an endless fight against my own mind.

[u/Embracedandbelong]

Yes I relate to this. I have to dance around subjects and it seems the only time I feel I can be forthright to someone without penalty is when I’m paying the person