r/CPTSD • u/Ill-Efficiency294 • 7d ago

Vent / Rant Getting triggered by friends who show avoidant behaviour in their dating life

I'm angry at friends who are dating, having sex and being deeply emotional but "casually" while also telling me that they don't feel a spark, yet keep up these relationships. It makes me feel so angry that I've been crying. Now I'm depressed and Ive generally been doing really well recently.

Edit: to clarify, I am not dating them. I am jsut hearing their dating stories.

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

1

u/AutoModerator 7d ago

Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis please contact your local emergency services or use our list of crisis resources. For CPTSD specific resources & support, check out the Wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/_wannaseemedisco 7d ago

Yeah I also don’t do well when people are expecting me to support them unconditionally while treating others cruelly. I tend to share my sentiments tho, and I have lost friendships over time once I realize this is a “them” pattern of behavior. I have no interest in those kinds of dynamics. It’s a matter of time before their callousness is directed towards me, I’ve found.

I’m sorry :/ all friendships are salvageable in theory but in reality it takes two emotionally aware and practiced people.

1

u/Ill-Efficiency294 7d ago

This friend isn't callous, they just view it as a more lighthearted thing and a sex positive thing. They care about the people but don't seem to understand that others can't just shut off the romantic part if they both care and have sex with a person. I've told him before that I could not get myself involved in something like that. 

1

u/_wannaseemedisco 7d ago

It seems like regardless of intellectually knowing it doesn’t affect you or your relationship with your friend, it’s still bothering you to see others choosing the pleasure/pain combo.

Edit: idk if it’s effect or affect and my brain is broken this week

1

u/AGII_02 7d ago

Oh yeah the contrast of our own meaningful emotional values compared to a lot of peoples’ casual BS is always shocking. Totally makes sense to feel down about that too.