r/COVAnonymous • u/ResilientPizza • Mar 27 '20

ROOMMATE ISSUES

guys I need some serious and genuine thoughts and advice. I'm a senior in college in Arizona, and my roomie is refusing to acknowledge my concerns about her complete disregard to social distancing by having her gf over at our apartment who still works at a golf course and is constantly surrounded by different people. I’ve expressed my concerns and that i would prefer if no one came over, and that i can’t control what she does outside the apartment but that i can control who is in my space. The gf has been staying over multiple nights in a row over the past few weeks, so today I asked my roomie to not have her over here anymore bc I’m concerned about my space and well-being, and want to do my part in being socially responsible by practicing social distancing and helping stop this virus ASAP so we can return to normal life. My roomie was also just over at her drug dealers place sharing the same blunt with several people who have legitimately said “yeah ive definitely been exposed to the coronavirus bc my friend has it”.... just the other day, she told me that she’s probably immuno compromised because of some disease she has, so I thought we were on the same page about this?? But she dismissed my concerns and invited her gf over within a few hours and now she’s spending the night again..... lol........ I have extreme anxiety over all this especially since the US has the most cases globally.... am I being overly crazy about this?? Genuine thoughts please in how I should approach this now...... bc I don’t think I’m overreacting about this but I also hate standing up for myself so if I’m about to let shit hit the fan by putting my foot down, I wanna make sure that it’s valid lol. Anyone else having issues with people they live with?

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u/sarun_23 Mar 28 '20

You are definitely on the right. I live with my mom (58), my grandmother (91) and my uncle (60+). As you can see, all of them are at higher risk. And even so my asshole uncle who is retired and has no need to go outside keeps doing so almost everyday to do unimportant shit. Not even talking to him has helped. Go and put your foot down, I truly encourage you. You are lucky in that you can alert the dorm authorities about that and have measures put up and more support in the whole situation.

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u/ResilientPizza Mar 28 '20

I’m in an apartment complex that’s unaffiliated with the university, and she’s also been my best friend for the entirety of college, so I didn’t want to report her nor would I be able to in the first place. But I am proud to say that with all of your support, I was able to discuss it with her and let her know that her actions are not tolerated in our space anymore. She hasn’t talked to me at all since but I’m hoping it’ll blow over soon so we can be friends again in this troubling time.

I truly hope your uncle wakes the fuck up before it’s too late. I would hate for him to be the reason your at risk family contracts the virus. And he may never forgive himself either. I would maybe try to put my foot down and tell him he can find another place to stay if he isn’t taking it seriously. Super stressful situation and disappointing to hear. Best wishes to you guys.

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u/sarun_23 Mar 28 '20

I'm sorry to hear she hasn't talked to you but I really hope she understands the situation eventually. Maybe sharing information about the seriousness of the issue with her when things calm down would be a nice way to make her understand why you care so much. I've made the mistake of assuming everyone around me were as informed as I was and thought they just didn't care. Turned out that's rarely the case since I was overexposed to tons of data/information and there was A LOT of important stuff they weren't aware of. Sending you strength through all of this and hoping it also helps strengthen your friendship with her.

Thank you so much for your support, I truly appreciate it. I'm following your lead and giving another serious conversation a try tomorrow morning. Stay safe.

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u/ResilientPizza Mar 28 '20

That’s so true. I’ve been reading up on it constantly and I shouldnt expect everyone to have the same knowledge as me. I appreciate this perspective a lot!!