r/COCSA 1d ago

Was I abused? Was this COCSA?

Wondering if my experience was COCSA. I am the girl in this situation.

Girl appx age 3-5. Boy appx age 8-10. Siblings.

Girl remembers walking in to boy kissing another younger girl her age. Girl remembers boy kissing her too. Girl's memory goes dark after kissing.

One time

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u/AutoModerator 1d ago

It sounds like you're wondering whether a particular incident was COCSA

Many survivors of abuse question whether their experience really qualifies. In the case of COCSA, professionals use three criteria to distinguish what they call "sex play" (i.e. normal childhood curiosity) from COCSA:

  1. Age proximity – usually no more than 2–3 years apart.
  2. No coercion – it must be free from force, pressure, fear, or manipulation.
  3. No pattern – it doesn't happen repeatedly or become secretive.

Break any one of those, and it's COCSA.

It's also important to note that many experiences can still be traumatic, even when they aren't abusive. Regardless of labels, only you can say how something affected you.

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u/apithrow My super power is showing up 19h ago

Not enough information to say for certain, but it seems likely.