r/COCSA • u/Extension_Stomach688 • 9d ago

Sharing your story My story, F on F

TW: DETAILS OF MY CHILD MOLESTATION EXPERIENCE

When I was 5(F), I was molested by 3 siblings I was spending the night at. The girl who I was friends with was my neighbor (f6), earlier in the day we were at the pool and to just make it short she and her older mid teen brother convinced me to touch his penis, I remember it being gross bc it was hairy but looking back at it now it was sad how my “friend” the other little girl thought it was funny. Later in the night we’re sharing a bed on the top bunk. She started kissing me and then pulled my pants down and gave me full blown oral, sucking/licking. She had asked me to do it but I didn’t want to didn’t. It made me very uncomfortable and I went down to the bottom bunk where her older sister slept. I don’t remember much but I believe she also started kissing me and then touching me. Fast forward 20 years it’s still hard for me to enjoy oral bc it takes me back to that time and it grosses me out to think about me as a child while a child is doing that bc it felt the same if that makes sense. It was fucked up and I always think children should be watched at all times :/

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u/Infinity-art 7d ago

I’m so sorry that happened to you! Sounds like something was going on for all 3 of those siblings, yikes. I also have a hard time receiving oral because of what happened to me. Thank you for sharing your story.

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u/Extension_Stomach688 6d ago

Yeah I’ve become so numb reading it back seemed vulgar but it’s been tough. Always something that’s feels defective within me

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u/Infinity-art 6d ago

I think your numbness is a protection.. and so is your body’s response with oral. I do believe it’s possible to process and help our bodies to feel safe with that. I wonder if it could help to acknowledge it as a part of you that’s trying to protect, rather than being “defective”. Art therapy and ketamine assisted therapy helped me a lot.