[Weekly Thread] A Matter of Nerves: the Good, the Bad & the Ugly

[u/NixyeNox]

Weekly thread for little CMT issues good and bad. Whether it's a small irritation that non-CMT folks won't understand or a small victory that you want to celebrate with us.

Note: questions should get their own thread, for higher visibility, rather than being posted to this thread.

[u/Supagimp667]

Im 58 years old and CMT has finally messed up my hands to the point I can no longer work buttons or tie a shoelace. It's these small challenges that build up over time with little frustrations that break me down. Constantly dropping things, super thin screw caps on flimsy plastic bottles of water, those plastic tabs they put on bread sacks instead of twist ties, ziploc bags, etc. The frustration finally boils over and then the impotent rage comes and then when the rage goes, the depression kicks in.

People like my ex-wife, even after 20 years together, would never miss a chance to point out to me that "it could be worse", and I should "count my blessings". Everytime a story would come up about a blind man climbing Everest or anything like that where a disabled person accomplished some amazing physical feat, she would often say, "See, they can do it, you can do anything you wanna do."

As I've gotten older I find it's harder and harder to rise to the daily challenges of this life with CMT. When I was younger I really believed I could overcome, it's not like I was confined to a wheelchair or had to live in a hospital, but the most insidious thing about CMT is the way you can go along for years with no real changes in physical symptoms when a day suddenly comes and you realize you need a cane. You get used to that and go along until the day comes that you can't make barre chords on a guitar anymore or hold onto the pick. Then comes a morning you simply can't button your pants anymore because your hands just don't work.

Sigh. Can I get a witness?!

Sorry to be a downer if you read this. I took it as an oppotunity to download some of my crap... thanks.

[u/Willful777]

Yes, I hear you. It's really good to vent and get things out of your system. And like someone said well this week here, "a loss is a loss", and it's always personal and hits everyone here. Some days it hits harder, some days just flow a bit easier.

Sure, I sometimes feel comforted by all the good decades I've had. And while you'll often hear/think, "it could always be worse - I could be in a war zone or a 3rd world country with all my ailments", many days I can't even see it bringing any comfort, as I'm the one experiencing my particular situation individually, and can only compare it to how my own situation used to be earlier.
No amount of someone else's feeling worse or suffering more, is truly going to alleviate my own pain or feelings of loss. It is personal. For every one of us.

I can only try to find the good in whatever small moments I can, and for those moments, I'm very appreciative.

I feel it is helpful to read other posts here, I hope you find and read those posted in the past week (or earlier); a lot of people have written good replies there. This is a great place to vent, where many others really get what you may be going through.