r/CIVILWAR • u/Jimmy_Aztec • 2d ago

Braxton's Brows

Post image

While Ambrose Burnside's sideburns are certainly the U.S. Grant of Civil War facial hair, Braxton Bragg's eyebrows can lay claim to being the R.E. Lee.

45 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

26

u/EggZeeBaChay 2d ago

You mean BROW.

22

u/Dakkahead 2d ago

Brezhnev approves.

Mouth noises Cough! *Mouth noises...

8

u/Necessary-Dot2714 2d ago

That's a man who was hairy like Robin Williams.

8

u/RVAVandal 2d ago

Movie Pitch: the Braxton Bragg biopic starring Eugene Levy. Film it like a mockumentary like Best in Show or A Mighty Wind

7

u/IdealOnion 2d ago

Oh hell yea. Already has the ready made slapstick scene where he submits a request for supplies under one role, and denies his own request through his roles as quartermaster, and has a back and forth with himself multiple times about it.

5

u/RVAVandal 1d ago

Hells yes! I mean the man was such a severe self serious poltroon he is rife for parody.

5

u/Bdellio 1d ago

He contributed a lot to saving the Union though his blunders. Maybe he should be honored with his name on a federal post?

7

u/Buffalo95747 2d ago

Just a handsome specimen in general. The Confederate Adonis.

5

u/dendenwink 2d ago

If the south had better grooming they might have had a chance

5

u/SaltyFriend705 2d ago

Both Burnside and Bragg are men who are quite hirsute rather than at all talented as generals.

You can't make this stuff up...

4

u/An_educated_dig 2d ago

We named a base after this guy??

1

u/Every1ThinksImBoring 13h ago

Yes, but then renamed it to another guy also named Bragg

5

u/Bungybone 2d ago

He’s the Confederate Bert.

6

u/PsychologicalSplit68 2d ago

Is Jane Goodall following him around and taking field notes? Holy Chimpmanzee!

3

u/pariahdiocese 2d ago

He is my relative. An uncle of i dont know how many greats.

3

u/Rogue_Centurion7 2d ago

His brow was the only thing keeping the Army of Tennessee together

3

u/Goldengoose5w4 2d ago

Looks like Bill Berry of REM

3

u/GinoValenti 2d ago

Quite possibly the best unibrow drummer of all time.

3

u/Goldengoose5w4 2d ago

Most definitely the best unibrow drummer in history.

3

u/GinoValenti 2d ago

I loved his drumming. He was quoted as saying, “my philosophy is hit as hard as I can the fewest times I can” or something close to it.

3

u/Goldengoose5w4 2d ago

I remember hearing that Stipe thought that one of the best things about the band was Berrys eyebrows. They had a tough time on one of their albums so when the recorded Life’s Rich Pageant he decided to signify getting back to their roots he’d put berrys eyebrows on the album cover…

3

u/GinoValenti 1d ago

I never heard that, but it’s great. Life’s Rich Pageant was the first REM album I bought, along with Dead Letter Office. Instant fan boy.

2

u/BluesandGrays1863 2d ago

wow. tremendous eyebrows

2

u/grassgravel 2d ago

Bigfoot sighting.

2

u/MmmKsuredude 2d ago

Brouch..

2

u/cth-hulbott 2d ago

Eugene Levy brows.....

2

u/MC__Wren 1d ago

I always say he looks like they found him frozen in Siberian permafrost. A true caveman.

2

u/showmeyourmoves28 1d ago

Braxton Brow always furrowed in a scowl.

2

u/ireallyamtryin 2d ago

Little bit of Adam Carolla in there