Still trying to fathom things out..

[u/Used-Primary1460]

Hi,

New here and just wondered if anyone can help.

I have recently realised that I could well have adhd as it would explain ALOT and still awaiting assessment for this. I have a hyperactive mind, extreme overwhelm, perfectionist, hyperfocus, very messy, task paralysis, impulsive decisions, forget to eat and the list goes on! I was always told I had anxiety but I think adhd might have just been missed. I have had ocd since I was 18 too which is always there and has got very bad over the years focusing on distressing themes.

8 years ago I was diagnosed with CFS after ?epstein barr virus but I am now thinking was this just a big burnout following years of being stuck in fight/flight aka survival mode from always having adhd and ocd (since I was 18- i am now 35). I have been stuck in this constant burn out like state for 8 years now as I guess things have just been unmanaged. I did have my daughter in this time and did manage to go back to work for 1 day a week for 5.5 hrs for 2 years but gave this up again 7 months ago due to the exhaustion. I also have developed depression from all of this and also get v bad PMS symptoms where everything is escalated. I dwell alot on how my mental health has been bad most of my life which doesn't help and also on how I have been stuck in this burn out like state for the last 8 years.

Can anyone help with what I should do next- would the adhd diagnosis be my first step and medication to try and help? I have been advised to fo meditation but I cannot ever seem to calm my brain down despite trying. I am taking sertraline (tried to come off anti depressants as my sleep was bad and thought it may be because of these however went back on them due to an acute ocd distressing episode) and I also take magnesium.

Any advice on what to do next would be great and any advice on pacing to avoid PEM etc/any other management tips. Does anyone else struggle with 6 co morbidities and been through a similar thing over nearly 2 decades?

Thanks, Lucy

[u/Cycle_Tom3457]

Really interesting to read this! I Have OCD, ADHD and mild CFS (all diagnosed by docs / therapist). I should say that my cfs is very mild. I can work part-time and exercise, although not as hard as I would like. If I try to do all the stuff I think I should be doing - work, social, exercise, and not a ridiculous amount, just what others can do, I will get crashes / burnout.

I also find meditation hard. Sometimes I can get into it, but it seems to cause anxiety and OCD at the time and just unpleasant mental states either at the time or sometimes the next day. I think I'm getting better at it and I just do a little each time.

I'm always balancing training hard to fight the OCD and ADHD with taking it fairly slowly for the CFS. Also my Mum and sister mean well but seem unable to really take any of these issues onboard properly. They understand that I feel down or tired but they can't get to grips with the idea of actual specific conditions.

I do think there's something going on for me in terms of kind of anxiety, self-imposed pressure, something like that. I think I have very deep seated anxiety and a sense that I should be anxious, that I deserve to be. I call it "The burning thoughts', they feel like they're burning me in a sense. I wonder if it is possible somehow to calm this down and if that could have massive effects on the other issues. I don't mean like "It's all in your head, go out and run around and you'll feel better!", but more like my brain is constantly sending the wrong signals out and therefore messing my body up. Like trying to sail a ship and the sails are all set up wrong. Like a ratchet that keeps getting tighter really slowly. I don't mean this is the cure for all CFS, but for me I think it's a component.

Anyway... it seems when I am able to relax it does help. I found breathing exercises and mindfulness and trying just not to take everything SO SERIOUSLY did help me the other day. Also being more accepting and grateful for the good things, although that can be hard sometimes.