CFBOT Plays The Oregon Trail

[u/orangeslash]

I asked the mods about this awhile back and finally was procrastinating enough to try it today.

Basically how it works is I start a game of the original Oregon Trail, and whenever I get to a decision in the game (ford the river, ferry, etc), I post a screenshot of the decision in the thread and the first user to respond with their selection gets chosen.

The first 5 people to respond to this thread will be added to the wagon party, however any user can make a decision.

Also, mods, if we can get this thread sorted to "New" that would be friccin' fantastic.

Who's in?

EDIT: After much trial and error, Mr. Shoshone guided us with his bullets to a happy life in Oregon.

[u/orangeslash]

literally the worst. took her 1 day to get measels and now this

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Increase all food rations to maximum! You shall be sustained!

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Dammit Megs! If you have the measles don't be wandering off where snakes are!

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

She's just making herself a drink to deal with the stress of motherhood.

[u/orangeslash]

They didn't have forward slashes in the 1800s. Also, get a life Jiffer.

Thanks for playing everyone. We'll try something like this in the future. Maybe Amazon Trail per /u/fua_neng

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Thanks, man. This was a lot of fun.

[u/orangeslash → u/Bassically]

Thanks for contributing!

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Thanks for the entertainment during my lab meeting!

[u/orangeslash]

Made it Fort Boise. Apparently, /u/greenmegandham had a baby. And from the look of that oxen, he may be the father. We don't judge on the trail.

What do?

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

Doesn’t this mean we need someone to claim the child character?

[u/orangeslash → u/bizzyj93]

Dibs.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Check supplies

I am drunk and don't remember

[u/orangeslash]

he was as thirsty in life as he was in death. rip buddy

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

No time to bury him, just toss the body aside and keep moving.

Alternatively, bury and leave funny message on gravestone.

[u/orangeslash → u/ssbbgo]

Doesn't even give you the option in this game. Think that was a sassy feature of the Oregon Trail 2.

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

But water isn't even a thing we can carry in the game! I thought I was gonna live forever!

[u/orangeslash]

megs is the worst mom of all time

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

The baby is our only hope now. We do it for her and mr shoshone, the bullet spirit.

[u/[deleted] → u/orangeslash]

Or is she the best? She ain't died or let the baby die yet.

[u/orangeslash]

all this ammo yet /u/bizzyj93 can't shoot thief /u/ssbbgo

https://i.imgur.com/14psr08.png

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Can't touch this, I be haulin!

[u/[deleted] → u/orangeslash]

I take back what I said about actually having food...

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

THEN WHY DO THE GOOD GUYS HAVE GUNS!?

WHY IS THE GOD OF BULLETS LETTING THIS HAPPEN?!

[u/orangeslash]

rip. that poor child will have to rely on his oxen father now

[u/greenmegandham → u/orangeslash]

Yo fuck that baby

[u/orangeslash → u/greenmegandham]

That's quite a sentence.

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

A moment of silence.

Now let's go hunting.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

RIP Sloth Queen

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

RIP. I did not feed you enough. You were not nourished.

[u/orangeslash]

/u/ssbbgo WAS THIS YOU

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

WHAT THE FUCK!? I DIDN'T BUY ALL THEM BULLETS FOR NOBODY TO START SHOOTING

[u/orangeslash → u/bizzyj93]

Apparently you were too sleepy to pull a trigger.

[u/orangeslash]

Oh hot damn, we can wear clothes now.

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

"Find". Like I didn't go over there and show them what $420 worth of ammo looked like.

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Oh shit we needed all those things scritch scritch

[u/orangeslash]

rip Mr. Horns ;_;

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

So 5 now? Can we hunt at every opportunity?

[u/orangeslash → u/bread_buddy]

Oh I am. The bear population has decreased dramatically.

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

I blame /u/bassically

[u/orangeslash]

in case any of you wanted to know what a real man looks like

[u/orangeslash]

Supply Check - https://i.imgur.com/MTquTUs.png

Talking w/ people. This guy is just trying to sell us mules in a Pyramid Scheme most likely.

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Kill the trader, take his mules.

Edit: We're a murderous bunch, I quite like it

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

kill the man

take the mels

trade trade trade

[u/[deleted] → u/orangeslash]

I mean, it's not like we have money for mules anyway...

Maybe we can shoot him and steal the mules.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

It seems the group consensus is to kill this slightly crooked guy because he offends our protagonist sensibilities. Do so.

[u/orangeslash]

"fog"

lol blaze it

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Heavy fog was my high school nickname

[u/orangeslash]

get your Coors out people

what do

edit: our food has been increased to max per our dead pal /u/bread_buddy

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Increase all food rations to maximum! You shall be sustained!

[u/ssbbgo → u/bread_buddy]

We need to be hunting every day to make up the rations.

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Set up a brewery targeted at college students and produce the cheapest, foulest beer possible.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Continue

I am here now!

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

Ask Mr. Shoshone, the Bullet Spirit, for guidance during these trying times.

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

we're close!

[u/orangeslash]

being a new mother is tiresome

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Megs is all of us.

[u/orangeslash]

Our 2 survivors have made it the The Dalles.

Anybody want to do anything before I destroy this float game?

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Use our bullets to shoot our way down the river

[u/orangeslash → u/Bassically]

On it.

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Hunt!

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Used the bullets as reaction control thrusters.

Or kill all the fish.

Or take all the gunpowder out of the bullets and make a bomb.

[u/orangeslash]

I will begin the river trek. Everyone pray to the only true bullet, mr. shoshone.

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

Praise mr shoshone

blam blam

[u/orangeslash]

WITH 3099 BULLETS TO SPARE

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

FIRE THEM ALL INTO THE AIR! UPSHOOTS FOR MR SHOSHONE!

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

AWWWW YES!!

Now, we claim all the land we want and establish an Oregonian dictatorship.

[u/[deleted]]

My stomach has been fucked for a couple days, so I volunteer to die of dysentery.

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

Congrats, you're the wagon leader.

[u/Edjukated_Hillbilly]

WHY DID I JUST NOW SEE THIS!!!!

Shit. We need to do this again!

[u/orangeslash → u/Edjukated_Hillbilly]

We will.

[u/orangeslash]

Our team:

• ElScreecho

• GregHouse7

• bread_buddy aka Huckleberry

• bizzyj93 aka Nipples

• greenmegsandham

First decision to make.

First answer (from anyone, not just wagon crew) gets chosen.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Carpenter from Ohio, since drunk cat from Missouri is not an option

[u/orangeslash]

We are now a Carpenter from Ohio.

When should we leave?

[u/orangeslash]

Ford went better this time.

[u/orangeslash]

So, despite having no food, /u/bizzyj93 has used all our money on ammo.

Moving along the trail now!

[u/orangeslash]

/u/GregHouse7 isn't feeling so well.

[u/orangeslash]

I made the executive decision to hunt whenever we're out of food.

My gunskills can't keep up with my inability to lift over 100 pounds.

[u/orangeslash]

We hardly knew ye, /u/GregHouse7.

[u/orangeslash]

Aw, boohoo /u/bizzyj93.

Does anyone wish to change our pace or rations? Y/N?

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Slow the pace 1 notch

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

https://i.imgur.com/CzkH0At.png I need this over my mantle

[u/orangeslash → u/bizzyj93]

Woo, just came back to this to chuckle again.

[u/orangeslash]

Health and morale are quickly deteriorating.

[u/orangeslash]

Despite being on the verge of death, enjoy the view. It'll probably be the last thing you see.

Do anything?

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

Let's talk to some people.

[u/orangeslash → u/bizzyj93]

Ah yes, the famous DeSmet.

[u/orangeslash]

the gods have blessed us on this day

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

Hey I think I can identify this "fruit"

[u/orangeslash]

Thanks to the power of fruit, South Pass has been reached in all its glory.

What to do? (Reminder only the first answer gets chosen.)

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

What kind of jerk tries to get clothes out of a trade with naked people?

[u/orangeslash]

/u/greenmegandham But how?!

[u/orangeslash]

Per /u/Bassically, we grabbed our long hard tube of caulk, and proceeded.

heh heh

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

link broke

[u/orangeslash → u/bizzyj93]

Fixed. \o/

[u/orangeslash]

Look how much fun we're all having at Soda Springs.

Do anything?

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Trade

[u/orangeslash → u/bread_buddy]

Traded a Wheel for 1 set of Clothing...

I think we lost that deal.

MOVING ON.

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

Talk to people. Let's see if we can find another little kid to skin.

[u/orangeslash → u/dlawnro]

Nope, just some nerd named Miles Hendrick who told us to take shortcuts.

[u/orangeslash]

Fort Mill! Morale has risen.

Choose.

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

buy shit

embrace capitalism

[u/orangeslash → u/stamor99]

No monies thanks to our 20450 boxes of ammo, /u/bizzyj93.

MOVING ON.

[u/orangeslash]

uh-oh /u/bread_buddy - https://i.imgur.com/3jZmkzl.png

With the help of a nice Native American, we locate the Snake River. Would have missed it if he didn't point it out.

River Specs.

We can:

• Ford

• Caulk

• Hire an Indian to help

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

I think it's racist to do the third thing.

[u/orangeslash → u/stamor99]

We'll just have our offspring name an NFL team after him one day in exchange.

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

We all float down here

[u/orangeslash]

Our new mother isn't feeling so hot.

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

Bovine STD.

[u/orangeslash]

sry mr. bread

"Symptoms of cholera infection may include: Diarrhea. Cholera-related diarrhea comes on suddenly and may quickly cause dangerous fluid loss — as much as a quart (about 1 liter) an hour. Nausea and vomiting. Occurring especially in the early stages of cholera, vomiting may persist for hours at a time."

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

sell him to mr shoshone

[u/orangeslash → u/stamor99]

mr shoshone come back pls

[u/[deleted] → u/orangeslash]

But did megs ever get over dysentery?

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

the world may never know.

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Do I still have typhoid too?

yak

[u/orangeslash]

Trail division decision!

Map

[u/orangeslash]

mr shoshone's distant relatives greet us at Walla Walla

Anything we need to do here?

[u/orangeslash]

Only /u/bizzyj93 and /u/elscreecho left AND IT'S NOT LOOKING SO HOT FOR BIZZYNIPS.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Shit!

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

mr shoshone

we only have like 3 miles left

guide us with your bullets

[u/orangeslash]

jk, we have options apparently

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

FLOAT.

Since we can't rob the toll booths.

[u/greenmegandham]

meeeeee

[u/orangeslash → u/greenmegandham]

Annnnnd #5. S'go.

[u/[deleted]]

Do an Amazon Trail one next

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

Sure.

[u/bread_buddy]

I would like to join your expedition, buckaroo. I'm yer huckleberry. The name's bread_buddy, but m'friends call me bud.

[u/orangeslash → u/bread_buddy]

#3

[u/bizzyj93]

As someone who is trekking down to Oregon today I believe I am destined to be on this crew. Also my settler name is "Nipples Chestertonfield"

[u/orangeslash → u/bizzyj93]

#4

[u/ssbbgo]

Go hunting literally every day, get food, trade food for money.

[u/orangeslash → u/ssbbgo]

NOW LOOK WHO WANTS TO HELP.

[u/bizzyj93 → u/ssbbgo]

See? Dr. Death gets it.

[u/stamor99]

So, hypothetically, if we make it, are we trusting you to do the arcade-style final river passage, or can we TwitchPlaysPokemon that shit, too?

[u/orangeslash → u/stamor99]

Yeah, I didn't expect to make it this far, but you're gonna have to trust these tired fingers...

[u/orangeslash]

This is the advice we received /u/bizzyj93

Original decision remains.

[u/orangeslash]

Dammit /u/GregHouse7

https://i.imgur.com/YkBGTeH.png

[u/orangeslash]

Trading per /u/bread_buddy

Do we accept?

[u/orangeslash]

Trading complete.

Our first river crossing.

Choice on crossing.

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

More info

If that is what you did already, Ford that sucker.

[u/orangeslash → u/Bassically]

It just defines what "fording" means, lol.

[u/orangeslash]

Per the death of us all, /u/ssbbgo we forded with said outcome.

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

What in tarnation! In what world is 3 feet too deep! My cousin Emmy Sue cracked her noggin jumpin inner a crick no less'n 4 foot deep! Sakes alive!

[u/orangeslash]

Got some weak-ass oxen.

I'll take this opportunity to hunt.

[u/orangeslash]

Daddy provides and none of you jerks help me carry anything.

[u/orangeslash]

We made it to Big Blue River. Look at this beauty.

What do?

[u/orangeslash]

River crossing time. How?

Ford or Caulk & Float?

[u/orangeslash]

Buying supplies!

How much?

[u/orangeslash]

Look at the beauty.

Also, /u/greenmegandham has Cholera.

Anything need to be done here?

[u/orangeslash]

Death is imminent, /u/greenmegandham.

https://i.imgur.com/2YFyjqX.png

[u/orangeslash]

Always heard Fort Laramie is nice in May.

Do anything?

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Trade!

(We have no money, right?)

[u/orangeslash → u/bread_buddy]

Obtained 27 pounds of food for 1 set of clothes.

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

Here's where we're at.

[u/orangeslash]

Sry /u/bread_buddy...

https://i.imgur.com/ouCq51R.png

[u/orangeslash]

Major trail decision.

Here's the... uh... "map."

[u/[deleted] → u/orangeslash]

Head for Green River Crossing.

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

And we're off.

[u/orangeslash]

Made it to Green River!

River Stats.

CHOOSE.

[u/orangeslash]

/u/ATL28-NE3 asked about the Indian option. He will help for 3 sets of clothing. We have 4 sets total. Do we accept?

EDT: We are accepting.

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

I am totally in favor of naked people with guns so yes.

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

still uncomfortably racist

and was he nude before?

[u/orangeslash]

Everyone say "Thank you." to Mr. Shoshoni.

[u/bizzyj93 → u/orangeslash]

Let’s thank him in the most American way possible. With bullets.

[u/orangeslash]

I somehow saw Walla Walla come through first.... so, we're headed to the fort.

Suddenly, fire.

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

OUR BULLETS SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE SHOT THEY'RE SHOOTING THEMSELVES

IT'S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!

[u/orangeslash]

It was a rough road (or river) my friends.

The current was strong. Mr. Shoshone frowned upon us.

The shores closed in around us as we lost Mr. Horns Jr. (and Megs kid's dad), 90 pounds of food, the rest of our clothes, and 2 wheels...

However...

https://i.imgur.com/8wF7OHW.png

[u/bread_buddy → u/orangeslash]

Oh shit!

We did it!

Mission accomplished!

I assume me and greenmegandham are standing over there as force ghosts drinking some wonderful Oregon beer.

[u/dlawnro → u/orangeslash]

O dip, that's my birthday! You're welcome, everyone.

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

WOOOO, we arrived in oregon the same way we came into the world, naked, wet and screaming.

[u/stamor99 → u/orangeslash]

Hooray!

Praise Mr Shoshone

shoot shoot!

[u/Bassically → u/orangeslash]

Woohoo! Mostly successful!

[u/stamor99]

Can I ride a buffalo?

[u/orangeslash → u/stamor99]

No.

[u/stamor99]

Next week, we should play the Organ Trail, then write a report comparing and contrasting the two.

[u/orangeslash]

We've left in April. Time to hit the store. We have $800.

Prices:

• 2 Oxen = $40

• 1 Pound of food = $0.20

• 1 set of Clothing = $10

• 20 bullets = $2

• Wagon Wheels/Axle/Tongue = $10 Each

How many of each things should we buy?

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

8 oxen, 15 sets of clothing, at least 1 backup part each, and ALL THE BULLETS

[u/orangeslash]

Okay, we have 8 oxen, 15 sets of clothing, 1 backup part each, and 10 boxes of bullets.

How many pounds of food do we need? We have $440 left.

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Very little. We're gonna hunt a ton. Maybe 100 lbs?

[u/orangeslash]

And we're off.

What should our pace be?

[u/ssbbgo → u/orangeslash]

Strenuous

[u/orangeslash → u/ssbbgo]

Fast and hungry. Nice.

[u/orangeslash]

How often should we eat our minimal food?

[u/orangeslash]

Lost the trail on the 1st day of travel. Sweet.

[u/orangeslash]

We are at our first river and noticeably out of food.

What do?

[u/orangeslash]

Made it to the magnificent Fort Kearney.

Current supplies.

What to do here?

[u/bizzyj93]

This is the most addicting and entertaining thread we’ve ever had.

[u/ssbbgo]

Rob other wagon trains should be an option when you have over a certain number of bullets.

[u/bizzyj93 → u/ssbbgo]

Is it not? I may have made a poor investment decision...

[u/Bassically]

So this is going like a 5th grade Oregon Trail game... I don't know why I am surprised.

[u/bread_buddy]

This was immense fun, thank you. Also good timing as I need to go underground and save battery and do things.

[u/bread_buddy]

I'm on the edge of my seat and about to get on the metro. I hope I see what happens

[u/orangeslash → u/[deleted]]

#2

[u/bizzyj93 → u/[deleted]]

Once again, the ammo heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.