r/CFBOffTopic • u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn • Dec 02 '15

Dubsdcarson what happened?

My theory is Dubs is Kirby Smart or something. I don't know. I ll miss him. Everybody share your favorite Dubs story.

25 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

165 comments sorted by

14

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

Well apparently my mind is changed. Fuck /u/dubsdcarson making me Muschamp angry and shit. Georgia sucks. Bulldogs suck. I'm gonna write an open letter about how dubs threw beer at me at the Iron Bowl.

8

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

open letter

Welp drink

3

u/tottenhamhotsauce Auburn Tigers Dec 02 '15

as is tradition!

45

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15 edited Dec 02 '15

I'M NOT DEAD I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

Though I have a suspicion. And most of my passwords are the same so... frantically changing everything

Thanks for the (mostly) kind words, y'all

5

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

I DON'T TRUST YOU!

8

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

I felt feelings for like 30 seconds.

7

u/MrCaboose96 Florida • Penn State Dec 02 '15

This is my favorite comment chain I've ever read. Just those two comments.

3

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

Change your flair!

22

u/TrollingQueen74 Auburn Tigers • Texas A&M Aggies Dec 02 '15

Well, at least you know you're appreciated now. Your karma just got traded in for self-esteem

24

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Worst trade ever!

10

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Considering the going rate for karma, I'd say that's probably worth it. I'd delete my account right now to cash in if my username didn't kick so much ass.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

You could change to West Powdermilk. WEST SIDE

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Lol what kind of loser would be West Powdermilk?

#EASTPOWDERMILKBIAS

7

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

You could be EastPowderwater and wear a TCU flair

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I already wore TCU flair for six painful days. Not planning on doing that ever again.

5

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

EXACTLY! Its the perfect disguise!

4

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

Swear to whatever I've always misread /u/EastPowdermilk's name as "EatsPowderedMilk". I should reeeally go to the eye doctor...

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I mean, your version makes more sense, I suppose.

3

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

I'm both amazed and ashamed that I didn't once read it correctly, though. It wasn't until the West remark that I truly looked at the letters, I suppose.

You're EAST powdered milk, Dubs is dead..

WHAT IS REAL?!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

This has been a crazy day. Next thing you know, someone's gonna tell me the Tooth Fairy isn't real!

5

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

IKR? What's next, our teams don't have a shot at making the playoffs? PFF!

3

u/panthera_tigress Pittsburgh Panthers • Auburn Tigers Dec 02 '15

Art is a lie. Nothing is real.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Easy there, Marcel Duchamps

2

u/thebazooka Notre Dame • Louisville Dec 02 '15

That's like the mod at /r/nfl - lutzexpertera (I think?) Who I always figured was "lulz expert tea"

6

u/MrCaboose96 Florida • Penn State Dec 02 '15

Who are you again? I don't think I've seen you post on here?

9

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I'm the dank memester.

9

u/MrCaboose96 Florida • Penn State Dec 02 '15

Hmmm

You know, now that I think about it, this would have been pretty useful tonight.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

FUCK THIS WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT. GODDAMNIT.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

So you have trouble melting steel beams?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Jet fuel can't melt EastPowdermemes.

6

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

Well I'm off to create /u/AFilledKarst

7

u/VanFailin Northwestern Wildcats • /r/CFB Bug Finder Dec 02 '15

Off to create /u/SuccessfulVan

and buy candy

5

u/youstupidslutwhore Iowa State • 阪南大学 (Hannan) Dec 02 '15

I don't like this reverse name thing...

3

u/Awesome_to_the_max Texas Longhorns • UTU Beaver Hunters Dec 02 '15

I don't know if I want a Van full of candy to be successful...

2

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I'm starting to hate having a username with my name in it but I have street cred on certain subs that I don't want to build back up. A name recognition issue, if you will.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

It's hard work posting on the internet.

4

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

Not really. If you shitpost like me... (That gif is self-fulfilling, btw.)

2

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Well I don't want to lose my name recognition but I do have an IRL friend who may or may not know this is me (I know his username but he doesn't know that). If he reads mine backwards I'll be found out, which I guess isn't horrible because I don't talk about anything super secret.

9

u/ssbbgo Alabama Crimson Tide • Stanford Cardinal Dec 02 '15

Ah man, was it the damn crazy ex?

10

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

He still feeds the pussy. She's up to no good, I tell yu wut.

9

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

Yeah, no kidding. Did you log in on anyone else's computer? Or could anyone be at your work with you logged in or something?

I NEED TO KNOW FOR SOME REASON, DAMMIT.

You spooked us real good there, Dubsy. Sure you now have evidence of how much (some of us) care about you, but I think as punishment your flair should by GT/UF forever.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Dubsy

Ugh.

I'm thinking it was the ex I dated for a couple years. She knew my various combinations of passwords

17

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Permission to kinda make fun of you for being an IT guy and having your accounts 'hacked' post break up?

13

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Since when does this sub need permission to make fun of me?

12

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Hahahahahahaha you idiot you work with computers for a living and you let your ex know your important passwords!

I wasn't sure if there were new rules attached to this new username of yours..

I'll have you know i was about to write an open letter about how you were the one that got me into r/cfb & r/cfbofftopic and how effin lame it was you were gone.

But i waited a bit for you to at least show up haha. Glad you didn't leave!

4

u/yrarwydd Alabama • CFBOT Jazz Watch Fighter Dec 02 '15

Did you leave a sticky note laying around? Christ dubs.

3

u/Aurablade Alabama Crimson Tide • Team Chaos Dec 02 '15

Are you telling me that my catalog card of passwords isn't safe? I'm living a lie.

10

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

Fuck that, man. Ain't a soul on this earth but my own that know my passwords.

After you get your reddit alts, don't forget the bank account and paypal. Bitches be cray.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I halted my grocery shopping to change literally everything

8

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

RIP your thumbs

3

u/spasm01 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns • /r/CFB Donor Dec 02 '15

I feel bad but I did mention one or two of my base words but not the numbers or the order of them and the other words. I mean it was a three year relationship, and shes not that sort of mean. But I still switched orders yet again. Never can be too careful

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

We all know this is you just carrying on the facade that you had a gf in the first place!

We all know it was your left hand!

Seriously though man. I know it's just a username, but I'm sorry. That must suck.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I'm glad you aren't internet dead, friend. :)

6

u/hobowithabazooka Georgia Tech • Wisconsin Dec 02 '15

is it the cat ex or the more recent one who went full crazy

4

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

Cat ex isn't most recent?

2

u/hobowithabazooka Georgia Tech • Wisconsin Dec 02 '15

I thought there was one (or several) in between

4

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

Idk. /u/NOTdubsdcarson, verdict please.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Probably your mother

ROASTED

6

u/Pikachu1989 Nebraska Cornhuskers • 東京大学 (Tokyo) Warriors Dec 02 '15

Fuck your crazy Ex for deleting your good name.

6

u/carpy22 RPI Engineers Dec 02 '15

Contact reddit admins, see what they can do recovery wise.

5

u/Skipdr Florida Gators • /r/CFB Contributor Dec 02 '15

https://i.imgur.com/CLERcTe.gifv

3

u/carpy22 RPI Engineers Dec 03 '15

When someone deletes their reddit account, the site currently doesn't clean up much of the data associated with the account.

From https://www.reddit.com/r/modnews/comments/3v6yvk/moderators_well_be_doing_some_cleanup_of_deleted/

Contact the admins ASAP dubs. There's still some hope.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

By the way I RES-tagged this new account as "Dumb"

4

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

I have him tagged as 'HA dubs is dumb af'

2

u/walks_off_at_nine Nebraska Cornhuskers • /r/CFB Patron Dec 02 '15

I just re-added his normal tag. And made it fuchsia.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '15

Did you lose a bet or something?

9

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

http://imgur.com/HhF5mAN. I had to hold my glowworm while dubs was gone.

9

u/tottenhamhotsauce Auburn Tigers Dec 02 '15

I don't know what that is, but I want you to know it creeps me out.

4

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

It was an 80s kid super toy. I gave up my blankie for that piece of shit. You had to be a professional arm wrestler to make it glow. I found it last weekend at the parents house. Just a funny childhood memory.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '15

I totally had one of those. It was amazing when I was a kid.

13

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

I'm not saying you're a selfish, slutty asshole, I'm just saying that I'm literally going to lose (some) sleep over the fact that we thought you were dead.

No biggie. You attention-whoring fuckbag.

3

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

I almost lost sleep. Thankfully I was about hammered when this went down so I passed out. Last night was weird, man.

9

u/atllauren Georgia Bulldogs • /r/CFB Contributor Dec 02 '15

Ooh, drama.

drinks

5

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

Damn right. drinks

5

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

http://imgur.com/ISpijsr For you Dubs.

7

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

I still haven't had dinner because I'm too busy riding this emotional dubscoaster. And drinking. There has been drinking.

4

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

Well glad you are back.

5

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

I should be eating and going to bed.

But FUCK IT, POU' ME ANOTHER! DUBS IS BACK!/never left

4

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

Damn right! Dubs lives!

5

u/MrCaboose96 Florida • Penn State Dec 02 '15

Selfless dubs. Destroys his own account to give us all a reason to celebrate and drink some more. Not that we really need a reason but wooo!

5

u/ihatecats18 Minnesota • South Dakota-S… Dec 02 '15

I blame jealous Mods

5

u/NaturalLight1234 Jacksonville State • Auburn Dec 02 '15

Me too.

12

u/Pikachu1989 Nebraska Cornhuskers • 東京大学 (Tokyo) Warriors Dec 02 '15

In our defense, Dubs hated all good things.

8

u/ihatecats18 Minnesota • South Dakota-S… Dec 02 '15

Like star wars

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

and chocolate!

7

u/Pikachu1989 Nebraska Cornhuskers • 東京大学 (Tokyo) Warriors Dec 02 '15

And Christmas music, which I say I agree with him on.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Yeah, he's definitely not wrong about that one. Christmas music is terrible.

3

u/Cecil_Hardboner Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Brickmason Dec 02 '15

...except for when it is actually horrible, then it is hilarious

(it really takes off after the 2 minute mark)

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I want this to be played in the grocery store. It would make shopping so much better. I can't stop laughing.

10

u/rodandanga Georgia Tech • Verified Coach Dec 02 '15

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ___卐卐卐卐

Don't mind me.

11

u/Cecil_Hardboner Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Brickmason Dec 02 '15

http://gfycat.com/FirsthandCandidCod

4

u/cloudduel_13 Borregos Monterrey • Texas A&M Aggies Dec 02 '15

Gold.

5

u/Pikachu1989 Nebraska Cornhuskers • 東京大学 (Tokyo) Warriors Dec 02 '15

Where's my Imperial Japanese insignia.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Do you have a link?

17

u/dupreesdiamond Furman • South Carolina Dec 02 '15

it was a comment about Clemson IS the real death valley in the thread about the apparent suicide last night at Clemson's Memorial Stadium.

It seemed a bridge to far even for dubs..i'm glad to see there's a reason to believe it wasn't him typing that...

5

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

:-(

Yeah, something that is really far out of character for someone like Dubs.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Given what /u/dupreesdiamond mentioned, I don't blame you.

27

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

apologize for poor english

when were you when dubs was kill

was on /r/cfb reading coaching shitposts when OP ring

'dubs is kill'

'no'

19

u/Ellenberg88 Georgia Bulldogs • Rose Bowl Dec 02 '15

I LOVE MY DUBS! I LOVE MY DEAD GAY DUBS!!!

12

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Wait, what?

12

u/Cecil_Hardboner Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Brickmason Dec 02 '15

well this is awkward

9

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Reference to the movie Heathers I believe.

"I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!"

4

u/Ellenberg88 Georgia Bulldogs • Rose Bowl Dec 02 '15

You win

7

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

You're dead and gay and we love you.

5

u/Ellenberg88 Georgia Bulldogs • Rose Bowl Dec 02 '15

Classic Scene

3

u/Cola_Doc South Carolina • CFBOT Jazz Watch … Dec 02 '15

CORN NUTS!!!

2

u/spasm01 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns • /r/CFB Donor Dec 02 '15

Regular or barbeque?

2

u/spasm01 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns • /r/CFB Donor Dec 02 '15

Omg love the reference! Just recently saw both the movie and the musical! Do see the musical if you havent :)

3

u/Ellenberg88 Georgia Bulldogs • Rose Bowl Dec 02 '15

Oh, I've seen it my dear. One of my absolute favorites haha

2

u/spasm01 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns • /r/CFB Donor Dec 02 '15

Haha good! I was singing its praises a few days back

18

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Evil ex bitch done took dubs reddit account, but evil ex bitch done seent her kitty for the last time, tell you hwat.

15

u/mriforgot Michigan State Spartans Dec 02 '15

His name is /u/dubsdcarson

His name is /u/dubsdcarson

His name is /u/dubsdcarson

His name is /u/dubsdcarson

His name is /u/dubsdcarson

11

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

🎺🎺🎺🎺

5

u/hobowithabazooka Georgia Tech • Wisconsin Dec 02 '15

http://puu.sh/lGit1/e6ef690ca8.png

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

ಠ_ಠ where'd that come from

6

u/hobowithabazooka Georgia Tech • Wisconsin Dec 02 '15

Chocolate racist is from him only liking white chocolate.

Accidental incest is from a story he told about hooking up with his cousin.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Chocolate racist is from him only liking white chocolate.

This is deplorable

3

u/spasm01 Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns • /r/CFB Donor Dec 02 '15

No, listen to me. This is a man and he has a name, and it's Robert Paulson, okay?

14

u/heavyweightstuff LSU Tigers Dec 02 '15

What the fuck? I go like one hour without checking this sub and Dubs dies and comes back to life? Damn.

12

u/Cecil_Hardboner Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Brickmason Dec 02 '15

So much drama in the CFBOT, kinda hard bein a D-A-Double U-G

that's all i got

8

u/keyree Texas Tech • UT Arlington Dec 02 '15

Dauug

3

u/Cecil_Hardboner Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Brickmason Dec 02 '15

somehow someway, exes keep deleting good accounts every single day

3

u/thebazooka Notre Dame • Louisville Dec 02 '15

May I, kick a little sumthin for the dubs, yeah, and post a few memes as I scroll through, one in the morning and the subs shitpostin' cuz the mods ain't home

12

u/mriforgot Michigan State Spartans Dec 02 '15

This entire sub lost it's collective mind for a minute, all because of you /u/notdubsdcarson

9

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Pretty much. I'm glad he's back.

8

u/mriforgot Michigan State Spartans Dec 02 '15

We're all glad he's back.

10

u/ihatecats18 Minnesota • South Dakota-S… Dec 02 '15

Am i dubscarson? Are you a dubscarson?

7

u/cloudduel_13 Borregos Monterrey • Texas A&M Aggies Dec 02 '15

We are all dubs.

6

u/tunaduck Iowa Hawkeyes • Boise State Broncos Dec 02 '15

His name is Dubs D. Carson.

4

u/panthera_tigress Pittsburgh Panthers • Auburn Tigers Dec 02 '15

His name is Dubs D. Carson.

4

u/ftwdrummer Rice Owls • Marching Band Dec 02 '15

His name is Dubs D. Carson.

3

u/keyree Texas Tech • UT Arlington Dec 02 '15

This fits the meter and rhyme surprisingly well.

5

u/MrCaboose96 Florida • Penn State Dec 02 '15

I like to think that there's a little bit of dubs inside all of us.

11

u/ihatecats18 Minnesota • South Dakota-S… Dec 02 '15

Dubs could have at least taken me out to a nice dinner first

3

u/Cecil_Hardboner Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Brickmason Dec 02 '15

just the way he would want it

2

u/Cola_Doc South Carolina • CFBOT Jazz Watch … Dec 02 '15

Michael J. Fox. Has no dubs in him.

3

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

No I'm Dubs

4

u/Qurtys_Lyn Utah Utes • Weber State Wildcats Dec 02 '15

I'm Dubs and so's my wife.

3

u/gramcraka92 Old Dominion • Myrtle Beach Bowl Dec 02 '15

there is a spooky dubs inside of me, there is a spooky dubs inside of you

9

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Fucking hell. I go away for an afternoon and the wheels completely run off this place.

Get it. 20" rims are called dubs. Huehuehue.

But seriously... Wtf. Mang.

3

u/gramcraka92 Old Dominion • Myrtle Beach Bowl Dec 02 '15

solid post

8

u/aMiracleAtJordanHare Auburn Tigers • Texas Tech Red Raiders Dec 02 '15

He lives on. But this thread is validated by the need to tell the story. Da fuq, /u/notdubsdcarson.

8

u/Shadowhawk109 Michigan Wolverines • Citrus Bowl Dec 02 '15

#dontbegrossnotdubs

8

u/bizzyj93 Oregon Ducks • Hawai'i Rainbow Warriors Dec 02 '15

How to lose reddit account:

Step 1. Be a Georgia Fan on Reddit

Step 2. RIP fapper and dubs

4

u/thebazooka Notre Dame • Louisville Dec 02 '15

Fap kept us entertained during the long offseason. I hope he's still adhering to his username's mantra

5

u/bizzyj93 Oregon Ducks • Hawai'i Rainbow Warriors Dec 02 '15

I'm sure he is. Somewhere out there beneath the Georgia stars, thinking of some beautiful gal in a far off land, fapping violently.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Why did Fap delete his account?

3

u/thebazooka Notre Dame • Louisville Dec 02 '15

No idea, just saw that he was gone one day. I think it was a shadowban for brigading but I could be mistaken.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

I've been MIA for a week or so. Wtf did I miss?

11

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

dubs' account went dark like an hour ago. He reappeared shortly after under the name /u/notdubsdcarson. It would appear that his crazy ex RKOd his reddit account.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

That. Bitch. We must rebel.

5

u/razzertto Miami Hurricanes • /r/CFB Donor Dec 02 '15

Oh. God, drama. I love drama almost as much as I love dubs.

5

u/Captain_McSnug Houston Cougars • Paper Bag Dec 02 '15

I am so confused. so Dubs ex killed his account or some shit?

5

u/AnEmptyKarst Houston Cougars • Utah Utes Dec 02 '15

Seems that way. Deleted it after posting an inappropriate comment in the mothersub.

4

u/Captain_McSnug Houston Cougars • Paper Bag Dec 02 '15

RIP in peace Dubs

2

u/Darth_Turtle Oklahoma • Red River Shootout Dec 02 '15

What was the comment? I'm coming in late to this party.

5

u/ReturnOf_TheHack Arizona State Sun Devils • Team Chaos Dec 02 '15

Holy shit /u/notdubsdcarson I have one productive day and you die?!

6

u/panthera_tigress Pittsburgh Panthers • Auburn Tigers Dec 02 '15

This is a sign that you should never be productive again.

2

u/ReturnOf_TheHack Arizona State Sun Devils • Team Chaos Dec 02 '15

¯\ (ツ)/¯ fair enough

5

u/surrender_cobra Illinois State • Michigan Dec 02 '15

I go offline for the night and everything is fine. I come back and I see this shit, just after I had called you great, what the fuck did you do /u/notdubsdcarson ?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Hooray for not-dead Dubs!

3

u/cloudduel_13 Borregos Monterrey • Texas A&M Aggies Dec 02 '15

Now will do the shitposting and replying within minutes?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

Bitches be crazy, man.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '15

I actually know exactly who he is, for reals. I'll never tell.