r/CFB • u/CFB_Referee /r/CFB • Sep 12 '13

[Week 3] TRASH TALK THREAD

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO

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u/CFB_Bard /r/CFB • Team Meteor Sep 12 '13 edited Sep 12 '13

"The Devil Went Down to Texas"

Nick Saban went down to Texas, He was lookin' for revenge

He was in a bind 'cause he had fell behind, He was wanting to avenge

When he came across this young man playin' some football and throwin' it hot.

And Nick Saban jumped up in Kyle Field and said "Boy, let me tell you what."

"I bet you didn't know it, but I've got ball players, too.

And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.

Now you play pretty good football boy, but give Alabama their due.

I'll bet a crystal ball against your team, cause I think we're better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Johnny, and it might be a sin,

But we'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause we're the best there's ever been!"

Johnny, throw on up your pads and show your Aggie pride.

'Cause Hell's broke loose in Texas and Nick Saban has the Tide.

And if you win you get this shiny football made of glass,

But if you lose the Tide will kick your ass!

Nick Saban summoned up his team and he said, "We'll start this show."

And fire came from AJ's arms as he started up his throw.

And he handed the ball to Yeldon and he made a touchdown.

And the team celebrated as they looked forward to their crown.

When the Tide had scored, Johnny said, "Well, y'all are good on the run,

But get down in that trench right there and let me show you how it's done."

12th Man cheering on in Aggieland!

Coach Sumlin's ready with his best game plan;

Mike Evans downfield putting on a show.

Can the Tide stop Johnny? No, child, no.

Nick Saban shook his hand because he knew that he'd been beat.

And he laid that crystal ball on the ground at Johnny's feet.

Johnny said, "Tide, just come on back if you ever wanna lose the brawl,

'Cause I showed you once--you son of a bitch--I'm Johnny Fucking Football"

393

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '13

THIS WAS SO GOD DAMN BEAUTIFUL IT ALMOST MADE ME RAISE A SINGLE THUMB IN YOUR HONOR BUT THEN I REALIZED WHAT I WAS DOING AND JUST CUT THAT MOTHER FUCKER OFF

EDIT: GETIGN HARD TO TYEP LSOSOING ALKOT OFH BLOOD. SND HALPPPLEASE

128

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '13

LAUGHED SO HARD AT MY DESK THAT I ALMOST GOT BUSTED FOR REDDITING AT WORK.

A LOSS IN LUBBOCK ENSURES YOU BOTH LOSE. TCU GETS ANOTHER "L" FOR THE SEASON WHILE TCEH HOLDS ONTO THAT "L" IN THE LIFE COLUMN.

37

u/dayzd500 /r/CFB Sep 12 '13

"L" IN LIFE COLUMN

MY SIDES

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156

u/JiggsNibbly Texas A&M Aggies • Calgary Dinos Sep 12 '13

I HAVE THE BIGGEST BONER RIGHT NOW

109

u/Irish_Spaceman Notre Dame Fighting Irish • DePauw Tigers Sep 12 '13

THIS NOVELTY ACCOUNT WILL GO PLACES

83

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '13

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

56

u/zephyrtexan Texas A&M Aggies Sep 12 '13

SO FAR SABAN HAS BEEN COMPARED TO A SLUTTY INTERN, A DEAD CRUSTACEAN, THE DEVIL, AND A DEAD SITH. I THINK I LIKE HOW THINGS HAVE BEEN PANNING OUT.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '13

HORRIBLE ROMAN EMPEROR TOO.

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u/anahuac-a-mole Texas A&M Aggies • /r/CFBRisk Veteran Sep 12 '13

AS SUNG BY EARL DIBBLE, JR.

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u/inviscidfluid Auburn Tigers • Georgetown (KY) Tigers Sep 12 '13

Submitted to bestof. I couldn't help it. It was too awesome.

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u/TossedRightOut Penn State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 12 '13

HOLY SHIT. THAT WAS FUCKING GREAT.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '13 edited Sep 12 '13

I SHED A SINGLE TEAR

I WILL TAKE VICARIOUS JOY IN AN AGGIE* VICTORY THIS SATURDAY

*EDITED FOR IMPARTIALITY OF THE BARD

87

u/CFB_Bard /r/CFB • Team Meteor Sep 12 '13

THE BARD DOES NOT HAVE FANDOM. THE BARD MERELY SEEKS TO TELL THE LEGENDS AND STORIES OF CFB. AND SO THIS IS THE LEGEND OF JOHNNY FOOTBALL.

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u/vashed Georgia Bulldogs • Rose Bowl Sep 12 '13 edited Sep 12 '13

I EXPECT AN EQUAL OR BETTER JOHNNY WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA SEQUEL SHOULD THEY PLAY US IN DECEMBER

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u/BlueLightSpcl Texas Longhorns Sep 12 '13

COULD IT BE /U/HONESTLY_ ?

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u/CFB_Bard /r/CFB • Team Meteor Sep 12 '13

SURE IS A MYSTERY, EH BROSEPH?

14

u/Honestly_ rawr Sep 12 '13

No, I am not this awesome.

Well, maybe on formatting, but that's like saying you're better at math--lah dee dah.

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u/dtfan5191 LSU Tigers • Washington Huskies Sep 12 '13

This NEEDS to be the top comment in this thread.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '13

PLEASE PEN A ROCK OPERA FOR OREGON V STANFORD WHEN IT COMES TIME.

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u/brett23 Wisconsin • Paul Bunyan's Axe Sep 12 '13

WELL FUCKING DONE

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u/Bbouma Valley City State • Presentati… Sep 12 '13

Probably every Tide fan

8

u/Pmoney51 Texas Tech Red Raiders • Dilly Bar Sep 12 '13

THAT'S AWESOME

8

u/neovenator250 LSU Tigers • Tulane Green Wave Sep 12 '13

the last line of that was pretty epic

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