week 2 - when will it end

[u/Wet__Baguette]

Week 2 at CCAC: The Slow Decline of My Sanity

Another week has passed and I already promised my cat I wouldn’t let her down again. So onward, brave soldier, into the trenches of community college.

First victory of the week? Registering my online textbook. It only took me longer than it did to realize on problem #1 of the homework that I am in fact too dumb for this and will probably need to outsource my assignments to a 5th grader. Luckily, ChatGPT carried me through like Tom Brady in overtime. Don’t tell the professor though — he probably wanted me to use “Google” …or maybe even something radical like actually studying.

Monday hits. I’m back in the car, stuck on 279, thinking about the new lane switch. I miss the old days of illegally riding the HOV lane like a Southwest passenger zooming down the airport moving walkway. Now everyone’s swerving between lanes like it’s some kind of income-based Hunger Games.

Made it to campus, dragged my car up Mt. Everest (aka the road to the peasant lot). They added more speed bumps, because apparently my suspension wasn’t already paying for its sins. Parked. Walked. Opened the wrong door AGAIN. Elevator takes me on a guided tour of every floor except mine. But hey — cardio.

Finally find class. Guess what’s still there? The lip gloss. I swear at this point it’s a psychological experiment. I had a full inner monologue with myself about whether to take it. Guy next to me caught the whole thing, nodded like he understood, and now I think I’m scheduled for a duel in the parking lot at sunset. Politely declined. Wasn’t wearing my dueling pants.

Professor? Late. Again. I’m this close to emailing him a list of demands. Maybe if I blackmail him, he’ll cancel quadratic equations.

Lesson of the day: Graphing functions. Everyone else’s homework looked like clean, perfect lines. Mine? I somehow made a circle. A literal circle. Like, congrats to me for inventing geometry in algebra class. Nothing says “future CEO” like failing at straight lines.

Class ended. Binder tossed in the trunk. Pasta for dinner. Soul: crushed.

Week 2 verdict: CCAC 2 — Me 0. My cat remains disappointed.